O' Children
There was a variety of things in Shepard's life which could go in the list of the things she hated. Cerberus and the Illusive Man, the ignorance of the council, the husks, and of course the Reapers. All these are true, she did hate them, with a passion, however the one thing that Shepard hated more than anything, the one thing she despised, was the silence.
When things were silent, that's when her mind was left to wonder, to think back at all the death and destruction which had taken place. On a battlefield, where bullets are whizzing past and the sounds of bombs and gunfire are endless, there is no time to think, just react. Even when not on the battlefield, when just simply talking to squad mates and crew, it was all a distraction to allow her to stay focused and not allow her mind to drift.
However, when the late hours of the day came, and the last reports were done, there in the silence of the Normandy, her mind starts to wonder. Every death, every mistake made, her mind thinks back to. And it hurts. Sometimes it can become so bad, Shepard cannot sleep, nor eat.
So instead, to fill the deadly silence, Shepard switches on one of the radio stations transmitting across deep space. Unlike the normal stations found in Alliance or Council space which transmitted news from the war and other trivial matters. These stations transmitted old songs and music from the 20th and 21st century. Although some like Joker were not too keen, Shepard liked them, it was a distraction, a good one.
So tonight, like any other night, she flicks the station on and the quiet sounds start to play through her cabin as the Normandy drifts through the abyss of deep space.
As the music started to play, Shepard settled on her bed and looked over the variety of data pads scattered out in front her. One by one, she read them, sent off reports, eventually coming to the final lot of data pads. Maybe tonight she could gather a couple of hours of sleep once this was done.
After a couple of hours ticked by, the soft sound of her door clicking open and a welcome face coming to join her in the late hours of the night.
"Hey there big guy" Shepard greeted tiredly as Garrus came and planted a gentle kiss, or at least his version of one, on her head before sitting on the sofa opposite the bed, he only hummed in response. It was clear the war was taking a toll on them both as neither could find sleep easily these days. It was perhaps less obvious on Garrus, but it seemed clear on Shepard, her messy hair, the dark circles under her eyes and her pale skin. To see her like this pained him, but he knew if he was so much to mention it, Shepard would immediately shrug him off. Perhaps some things were better left unsaid.
"How's it going?" he asked, in an effort to make conversation.
"It's going" she replied, pointing to the pile of data pads around her.
For a while, the two sat in a comfortable quiet, each to their own work, only the music from the station as noise. Until eventually Garrus had to ask a question which had been burning in his mind from the moment he sat down.
"What is this music? I've never heard them before?" Shepard looked up and smiled "They're old earth songs, found only on deep space radio stations, they remind me from my time back on earth. Plus, it makes a change from… well… you know"
"Yeah" Garrus hummed in agreement. He couldn't help but be amused, it was almost every day. since the start of their relationship, he found out something new about her, it was almost endearing.
As the last song faded out and next one began to play, Garrus had an idea.
"Pass me that lovely little gun
My dear, my darling one
"The cleaners are coming, one by one
You don't even want to let them start..."
Putting his data pad aside, he got up from the sofa and walked towards Shepard, offering out his hand to her. She looked up at him with slight confusion
"Come on, you need a break" he pushed, encouraging her to take his hand. Shepard was not one to be easily persuaded, but Garrus was an exception. With a sigh, she took his hand and got up from her bed. Garrus took her other hand in his and the two started to sway gently to the music.
"They are knocking now upon your door
They measure the room, they know the score
They're mopping up the butcher's floor
Of your broken little hearts…"
Unlike their time at the Citadel, this dance was far more gentle, more intimate. Whether it was out of pure tiredness or not, it did not matter, the two were simply content with this gentle movement, bringing them closer together.
"O' children
Forgive us now for what we've done
It started out as a bit of fun
Here, take these before we run away
The keys to the gulag
O' children
Lift up your voice, lift up your voice
Children
Rejoice, rejoice…"
As they danced, Shepard brought one of her hands from his hand and placed it gently on the rim his cowl, seeing her move, Garrus copied, placing his now free hand on her shoulder, gently pulling her towards him.
"Here comes Frank and poor old Jim
They're gathering round with all my friends
We're older now, the light is dim
And you are only just beginning
O' children
We have the answer to all your fears
It's short, it's simple, it's crystal clear
It's round about and it's somewhere here
Lost amongst our winnings…"
It was strange, as even with this gentle, intimate moment, Shepard could not help but to feel vulnerable. She was letting her guard down and it made her feel uncomfortable, weak even. But, fortunately, Garrus could immediately feel her unease, and, in an effort to distract her, he spun her to the music.
It caught Shepard off guard, but in a better sort of way, as she smirked up at him, repeating the move to music.
"O' children
Lift up your voice, lift up your voice
Children
Rejoice, rejoice
The cleaners have done their job on you
They're hip to it, man, they're in the groove
They've hosed you down, you're good as new
They're lining up to inspect you…"
After that clever little move, it became no surprise that the spinning and twirling grew. With Shepard twirling under Garrus's arm, twisting herself back into his body, taking his hand with her, then back out. By this point, they had completely become out of tune of the song, but it did not matter as right now, what mattered was each other.
The two danced in an almost childlike manner, laughing and giggling at their stupid dance, not caring what they looked like. But why would they? They were saving the bloody galaxy, they had earned the right to act like children, even for a night.
"O' children
Poor old Jim's white as a ghost
He's found the answer that we lost
We're all weeping now, weeping because
There ain't nothing we can do to protect you…"
O' children
Lift up your voice, lift up your voice
Children
Rejoice, rejoice…"
Soon their laughing fit fizzled out and the two came back to simply holding each other as the music song started to come to its end. Shepard holding onto Garrus a little tighter than she was at the start of the song. As no matter how hard she tried not to think, not to remember that everything she held dear was simply hanging by a thread.
"Don't think about it" Garrus muttered into her hair, as if he had read her thoughts "Not even for a second, don't think about that, we're going to win, okay?"
"Hey little train! We are all jumping on
The train that goes to the Kingdom
We're happy, Ma, we're having fun
And the train ain't even left the station
Hey, little train! Wait for me!
I once was blind but now I see
Have you left a seat for me?
Is that such a stretch of the imagination?"
Choking back a tear, Shepard clung onto Garrus as if he was her lifeboat.
"Okay" she choked out, burying her head in the fabric of his clothing. Usually she would be silently cursing herself for acting so vulnerable. But with Garrus, it was different, she knew he did not care, the only thing that really mattered was to make sure that despite everything, she knew she still had someone to lean on.
"Hey little train! Wait for me!
I was held in chains but now I'm free
I'm hanging in there, don't you see
In this process of elimination
"Hey little train! We are all jumping on
The train that goes to the Kingdom
We're happy, Ma, we're having fun
It's beyond my wildest expectation…"
The song started to fizzle out, going quieter at each word. Eventually the two stopped swaying and just stood there, hugging each other.
"Thank you" Shepard muttered, feeling her tears dry on her cheeks
"For what?"
"For everything" Shepard paused for a moment, trying to force out her last words, but it seemed Garrus read her mind once again and beat her to it.
"I love you"
"I love you too"
"Hey little train! We are all jumping on
The train that goes to the Kingdom
We're happy, Ma, we're having fun
And the train ain't even left the station."
I got heavily inspired by a scene from Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1, where Harry and Hermione dance together. I thought it would be very fitting for Shepard and Garrus.
Anyway, hope you enjoyed this one shot.
Thank you and good night!
Please note that the song does not belong to me, it belongs to Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds and can be found here: watch?v=MQL5zd…
Also, all characters belong to Bioware