Four years.
Four years of the same drafty, conservative style Westchester school. Today supposedly Logan is coming back. I'm not a pessimist but I'll believe it when I see it. I don't necessarily doubt that he'll come but it's been so long the road seems like his home rather than this stuffy school full of people who actually understand him. Well, that's a lie, there's only about two people who actually understand him. Those two would be me and Chuck, I've got Logan in my mind and Chuck can read his mind. I know that Logan likes pool, beer, fast women, and hockey. I know that it's the Logan in me that makes me swear, growl, make rude comments, show up Scott, and who can forget that damn impulse to drink beer or smoke a cigar. The Logan in me also isn't one to be tied down to one place, no matter how comfortable he might find it. Everyone thinks it's because of Wolverine but I know for a fact it's because of Logan. As much as he doesn't want to admit Logan is afraid of the idea of home and all the complicated emotions that go with it. When you start to care you start to get hurt, and Logan might have a great healing factor for physical pain but he doesn't have an adamantium heart.
Jean and Scott are getting married soon. All I can say to that is it's about damn time. Although, honestly Jean and I aren't exactly close. One can only wonder what will happen when Logan hears the news. Who knows if he even still has a 'thing' for Jean, after all lust doesn't last as long as love. I absorbed him, and believe me I know the difference between lust and love. Lust is the simple feeling of finding someone attractive, someone desirable, or Logan's case someone you want to have sex with. However, love, is much different. Love, is being able to put up with someone's crap, being able to be faithful and stand by that person because deep down no one knows you better than them.
How do I know so much and happen to only be twenty-one?
I'll tell you, I've absorbed several people. The most prominent being Logan, twice, and Erik who forced himself into my head. David is still there every once and a while but is usually frightened into a dark corner by Wolverine. Erik and Logan don't get along but since itÕs my head they're willing to do the old "don't fuck with me I won't fuck with you" rule. Every once and a while they get loose, or they affect things I do and say. I call Professor Xavier 'Charles' because of Erik and 'Chuck' because of Logan. I'm older than anyone at the school if you add up all the years in me, and all the experiences burned into my memory. I feel sorry for Erik because of them. I know he tried to kill me but I find it depressingly ironic that he almost became the very thing he despised; a genocidal maniac. I understand Wolverine/Logan better because of his memories and nightmares. I donÕt care what Jean says IÕd rather have some part of Logan than none at all.
Thank god most people in the mansion know I've got almost a split personality disorder because of the guys upstairs. Still I don't want Jean's pity, or anyone else's for that matter. 'Poor Rogue she's so lonely and she has a crush on a beast.' I know the crap that is said about me when they think I'm not listening. Well, if any of them were as smart as they claim to be, they'd realize that after two fills of Logan I have increased senses, which includes acute hearing. I won't tell them that, let them humor themselves with their shitty and completely wrong opinions and assumptions. Besides Jean won't find it amusing when Logan comes back and she realizes his lust doesn't mean shit, and it never did. I know she's marrying Scott but that doesn't mean the same thing to me and it does to her. She's just in love with the idea of settling down, and the whole kit 'n' kaboodle. Who knows if she's really in love with Scott himself. It's none of my business but Scott and I are pals, no matter how shitty his fiance gets with me.
The Professor has been trying to help Logan find his past from day one but the sons of bitches who did that shit to him covered their tracks remarkably well and neither Logan or Charles has been the least bit lucky. So, Logan is coming back, with about as much as he left with. I still wear his tags, I never took them off, much to the chagrin of Jean, who thinks my "crush" is petty and pathetic. One, itÕs no crush, and two, if she reads my mind one more time I'm going to make sure it's something that she won't like. Still, it will be pretty amusing to see Logan find me a woman, not the doe eyed teen I once was. I want to get to him before Jean does but it's hard to compete with a telepath. However, knowing Logan's distaste for anyone, even Jean, in his head, I might be able to beat her to it.
I listen for the rumbling engine of Scott's bike, I can still tell he misses it. Especially when he still can't seem to build one just like it without swearing Logan's name while doing it. As soon as I hear it, I can't help but run downstairs and look at the window to make sure my ears haven't decided to play tricks on me. There he is, in the driveway, looking exactly the same as when he left. Same sexy hairstyle and even those damn mutton chops. I almost drool as I watch him get off his bike and smell the air. Definitely a Wolverine action, and I donÕt even need Logan in my head to tell me that.
He strides to the front door like a panther, even his eyes look feral and unchanged. His clothes are the same, too. Flannel shirt, denim jeans, and a denim over coat. IÕm surpised to see that he just stops in front of the door and glares at it for a good few moments before taking a long breath and opening the door. I jump off the couch once my ears pick up the familiar creaking of the door, and once Logan steps in my breath catches. Damn, he still has that effect on me and itÕs been how long? He does a double take as he sees me, his eyes go downward towards my chest area and when he sees the tags rested there a feral smile slowly appears on his face. Logan opens his arms as an invitation to hug him and I graciously accept. I wrap my arms around him, as he wraps his own around me, tightly. He spins me around and sets me down, still not letting me go and.
ÒI missed you Marie,Ó he whispers in my ear and it takes all of my control not to melt in his arms.
Jean comes downstairs when she hears the commotion. Logan looks at her, gives her a Ôhi RedÕ and then his attention is back on me. Jean looks awfully offended, and skulks back upstairs. Logan doesnÕt seem to really care much, he shrugs it off like a annoying fly.
ÒWanna show me to my room?Ó He asks seductively and I simply nod, I like this new Logan, I just hope he isnÕt yanking my chain.
Four years of the same drafty, conservative style Westchester school. Today supposedly Logan is coming back. I'm not a pessimist but I'll believe it when I see it. I don't necessarily doubt that he'll come but it's been so long the road seems like his home rather than this stuffy school full of people who actually understand him. Well, that's a lie, there's only about two people who actually understand him. Those two would be me and Chuck, I've got Logan in my mind and Chuck can read his mind. I know that Logan likes pool, beer, fast women, and hockey. I know that it's the Logan in me that makes me swear, growl, make rude comments, show up Scott, and who can forget that damn impulse to drink beer or smoke a cigar. The Logan in me also isn't one to be tied down to one place, no matter how comfortable he might find it. Everyone thinks it's because of Wolverine but I know for a fact it's because of Logan. As much as he doesn't want to admit Logan is afraid of the idea of home and all the complicated emotions that go with it. When you start to care you start to get hurt, and Logan might have a great healing factor for physical pain but he doesn't have an adamantium heart.
Jean and Scott are getting married soon. All I can say to that is it's about damn time. Although, honestly Jean and I aren't exactly close. One can only wonder what will happen when Logan hears the news. Who knows if he even still has a 'thing' for Jean, after all lust doesn't last as long as love. I absorbed him, and believe me I know the difference between lust and love. Lust is the simple feeling of finding someone attractive, someone desirable, or Logan's case someone you want to have sex with. However, love, is much different. Love, is being able to put up with someone's crap, being able to be faithful and stand by that person because deep down no one knows you better than them.
How do I know so much and happen to only be twenty-one?
I'll tell you, I've absorbed several people. The most prominent being Logan, twice, and Erik who forced himself into my head. David is still there every once and a while but is usually frightened into a dark corner by Wolverine. Erik and Logan don't get along but since itÕs my head they're willing to do the old "don't fuck with me I won't fuck with you" rule. Every once and a while they get loose, or they affect things I do and say. I call Professor Xavier 'Charles' because of Erik and 'Chuck' because of Logan. I'm older than anyone at the school if you add up all the years in me, and all the experiences burned into my memory. I feel sorry for Erik because of them. I know he tried to kill me but I find it depressingly ironic that he almost became the very thing he despised; a genocidal maniac. I understand Wolverine/Logan better because of his memories and nightmares. I donÕt care what Jean says IÕd rather have some part of Logan than none at all.
Thank god most people in the mansion know I've got almost a split personality disorder because of the guys upstairs. Still I don't want Jean's pity, or anyone else's for that matter. 'Poor Rogue she's so lonely and she has a crush on a beast.' I know the crap that is said about me when they think I'm not listening. Well, if any of them were as smart as they claim to be, they'd realize that after two fills of Logan I have increased senses, which includes acute hearing. I won't tell them that, let them humor themselves with their shitty and completely wrong opinions and assumptions. Besides Jean won't find it amusing when Logan comes back and she realizes his lust doesn't mean shit, and it never did. I know she's marrying Scott but that doesn't mean the same thing to me and it does to her. She's just in love with the idea of settling down, and the whole kit 'n' kaboodle. Who knows if she's really in love with Scott himself. It's none of my business but Scott and I are pals, no matter how shitty his fiance gets with me.
The Professor has been trying to help Logan find his past from day one but the sons of bitches who did that shit to him covered their tracks remarkably well and neither Logan or Charles has been the least bit lucky. So, Logan is coming back, with about as much as he left with. I still wear his tags, I never took them off, much to the chagrin of Jean, who thinks my "crush" is petty and pathetic. One, itÕs no crush, and two, if she reads my mind one more time I'm going to make sure it's something that she won't like. Still, it will be pretty amusing to see Logan find me a woman, not the doe eyed teen I once was. I want to get to him before Jean does but it's hard to compete with a telepath. However, knowing Logan's distaste for anyone, even Jean, in his head, I might be able to beat her to it.
I listen for the rumbling engine of Scott's bike, I can still tell he misses it. Especially when he still can't seem to build one just like it without swearing Logan's name while doing it. As soon as I hear it, I can't help but run downstairs and look at the window to make sure my ears haven't decided to play tricks on me. There he is, in the driveway, looking exactly the same as when he left. Same sexy hairstyle and even those damn mutton chops. I almost drool as I watch him get off his bike and smell the air. Definitely a Wolverine action, and I donÕt even need Logan in my head to tell me that.
He strides to the front door like a panther, even his eyes look feral and unchanged. His clothes are the same, too. Flannel shirt, denim jeans, and a denim over coat. IÕm surpised to see that he just stops in front of the door and glares at it for a good few moments before taking a long breath and opening the door. I jump off the couch once my ears pick up the familiar creaking of the door, and once Logan steps in my breath catches. Damn, he still has that effect on me and itÕs been how long? He does a double take as he sees me, his eyes go downward towards my chest area and when he sees the tags rested there a feral smile slowly appears on his face. Logan opens his arms as an invitation to hug him and I graciously accept. I wrap my arms around him, as he wraps his own around me, tightly. He spins me around and sets me down, still not letting me go and.
ÒI missed you Marie,Ó he whispers in my ear and it takes all of my control not to melt in his arms.
Jean comes downstairs when she hears the commotion. Logan looks at her, gives her a Ôhi RedÕ and then his attention is back on me. Jean looks awfully offended, and skulks back upstairs. Logan doesnÕt seem to really care much, he shrugs it off like a annoying fly.
ÒWanna show me to my room?Ó He asks seductively and I simply nod, I like this new Logan, I just hope he isnÕt yanking my chain.