Just something quick I came up with. A little angsty fluff that I hope you like. Please let me know what you think.
Disclaimer: I don't own Rizzoli and Isles and this is for fun, not profits.
We had our usual Friday night of takeout and a movie at my house only this week Jane decided to drink way more than she should have. Refusing to let her drive in the state she was in, I insisted that she sleep here to which she replied "MAURA a sleepover! I LOVE sleepovers! Plus your sheets are very comfy. I'm tired, can I go to bed now?"
"Of course you can Jane, I'll just clean up a little and lock up and i'll be straight up."
She was already half way up the stairs so her reply was a little muffed but it sounded like "Jeez Maura would you relax a little, not clean for one night."
I didn't bother replying, just letting out a little laugh at my slightly drunken friend.
That was ten minutes ago and as I enter my bedroom I see Jane fast asleep on my bed. I just shake my head and let out another little laugh wondering what else I was expecting.
After my usual nightly routine I climb into the bed beside my best friend, resisting the urge to pull her close to me, and fall asleep quickly.
I don't know what's happening or what time it is when I wake up in the middle of the night to the most pained screams I've ever heard. It takes me a minute to remember that it's Jane in the bed beside me. I realise from the thrashing and screaming that Jane is in the height of one of her nightmares and I have no clue how to bring her out of it, bring her back to reality, make her realise that whatever is hurting her can no longer hurt her. I've never experienced a night terror before and Jane's is a very bad one. I tentatively reach out my arm to try shake her awake but it's barely on her arm when she swings her left arm around and comes inches away from punching me in the face. I have no idea how to get her out of this dream where she is only hurting both of us, physically and emotionally.
Whatever her subconscious mind is showing her must be awful because she is fighting in her sleep. Kicking and screaming. The screaming is soul piercing. It's ripping out my heart to see someone I love so much in so much pain. She keeps screaming "NO! No I wont let you! You'll never win! NO. I WILL NOT LET YOU HURT HER! Hurt me instead! I WILL kill you!"
Just as she screams this last line she rolls on her side and I'm able to wrap my arms around her, pinning her arms to her sides to contain the thrashing and I squeeze her torso, applying pressure to her nervous system to calm her down and it works almost immediately to stop the thrashing but her body is still twitching feverishly and she is still whimpering and clearly in the dream.
I can't stand to see my best friend in so much pain so I start to shake her awake.
One second I'm lying behind Jane trying to shake her awake and the next I'm on my back being pinned down by her. I see anger then realisation and finally pain cross her face in the dark. Then she collapses on top of me, holding me tighter than she ever has before and mumbling something into my silk pyjamas.
"Jane?" When I get no reply I try again "Jane, I only woke you because you were clearly having a night terror. You were screaming and thrashing and fighting someone."
When she hears she was thrashing she immediately lets me go and looks me in the eye silent tears running down her face "I was thrashing? Did I hurt you? I'm so sorry Maura. I thought these nightmares were gone, I haven't had one in a while. I think maybe because I drank too much. Please say I didn't hurt you?"
"You didn't hurt me, a few kicks to the shins and an almost punch to the face." She lets out a sigh of relief and I pull her close "Jane, it's okay, you're safe now and what ever it was can't hurt you, you're safe here. Do you want to talk about it?"
She slips her arms around my body and holds me close again. "I'm just glad you're safe. He had you. Maura he had you and he was going to kill you and I could do nothing about it. He had you Maura. Hoyt had you." The tears were racing down her face now "Maura he can't hurt you, he won't, I won't let him!"
"Shh Jane, it's okay, he can't get you or me. I right here, just open your eyes." I meant that in more ways than one but mentally slapped myself for my choice of wording.
"He had you and he was hurting you, he had you tied to a table and he had me tied up, making me watch, not able to do anything to help you. Maura, he was doing things to you and...and I wasn't able to do anything." This sentence cause a shiver to run down my spine and me to involuntary pull Jane closer to me.
"Jane I'm right here and he didn't hurt me and he never will. You killed him remember? He can't hurt me now. I'm here and I'm safe and so are you."
"Maura, I can't lose you, I can't."
"You won't. I'm right here." Seeing my best friend like this is breaking my heart.
"No Maura, you don't understand. I can't lose you because I love you too much." We say this all the time to each other but this time it feels different.
"I love you too Jane, you know that I do" And I really do.
"No Maura. I love you, I'm in love with you and I can't deny myself any longer. Not after that dream. It puts things in perspective. Life is short. In the morning we can forget about this conversation if you want but I can't not know anymore. I need you to know. This might be overwhelming or scary and I've never even been with a woman but I don't care because I've been in love with you forever and I'm not into denying myself anymore."
I sit there in complete shock, not knowing what to say or do. I have been in love with Jane Rizzoli ever since our first proper meeting when she came to apologize for being so rude and it never crossed my mind that she could like me back so I loved her from afar.
"Maur please say something. Anything." she pleads
"I...I love you too."
"What? Really?"
"Really. I've loved you ever since you came down to my office with two cups of coffee, a twenty dollar bill and an apology. Yes this is overwhelming. Yes this is scary and I've never been with a woman either but yes, I love you too." I love the grin that these words spreads across Jane's face, showing me her dimples. So I say them again. What a difference one nightmare can make.