Summary: One-shot song fic IT'S NOT OVER by Daughtry They always knew their whirlwind romance would end… AJ, rated for minor language, and mild themes
It's Not Over
Riding away from the tent where she had spent her last night with Jonathan of Conté, Alanna of Trebond and Olay couldn't help but feel a little bit sad. She was certainly angry—unfeminine?—but she was also sad in a way she couldn't easily explain. A feeling sat in the pit of her stomach she wasn't able to name, nor make go away.
I was blown away.
What could I say?
It all seemed to make sense.
You've taken away everything,
And I can't deal with that.
Jonathan of Conté was the prince of Tortall—not just any prince, but the crown prince. Never in a million years could she have imagined what he would do to her. She was the girl masquerading as a boy to earn her knighthood, a small little redhead with violet eyes and a violent temper named Alan of Trebond. And he? He was the tall, handsome heir to the throne, with coal-black hair and sapphire eyes. All the women wanted the prince, and not just for the obvious reasons. Alanna never wanted love, but Jonathan? She wanted him. And, now, she actually did want his love.
I try to see the good in life,
But good things in life are hard to find.
We'll blow it away, blow it away.
Can we make this something good?
Well, I'll try to do it right this time around.
She sighed. Alanna loved him. She loved him, she loved him. But he couldn't love her anymore. Not after the things she said. How could she love him after what he said?
At the same time, she wasn't sure how she was going to live without him in her life. He hadn't only been her lover, he had also been her best friend. And now she was going to have to go on with her life knowing that he wouldn't be there for her when she returned home to Corus as Tortall's scandal. There was absolutely nothing positive about this situation.
She was now writing toward Port Caynn and into the arms of her other best friend, Tortall's King of Thieves, George Cooper. He loved her too. And she hoped she wouldn't ruin it this time.
Let's start over.
I'll try to do it right this time around.
It's not over.
'Cause a part of me is dead and in the ground.
This love is killing me,
But you're the only one.
It's not over.
Who was she kidding? She couldn't just fall into George's arms. She loved Jonathan, damn it. She loved him. At the same time, she hated him. She didn't want to love him, but she didn't want to hate him either. When did her life become so much more complicated? Since when did she obsess over men like this? She didn't like what the prince was doing to her, and she hoped he was just as miserable as she was.
Who am I kidding? she wondered. There are a thousand women at the palace who are throwing themselves at him as I sit here, obsessing. She mentally slapped herself. Stop that, Alanna. You have worse things to worry about. What are you going to do with your life? This whole thing was going to be the end of her, and dying of confusion over a semi-broken heart wasn't how she imagined dying.
Taken all I could take,
And I cannot wait.
We're wasting too much time
Being strong, holding on.
Can't let it bring us down.
He hated her. He hated her with the same violent passion that he hated his enemies. He hated her as much as he hated that cursed Ralon of Malven. No, he loved her. He loved her more than he had ever loved anyone before. He was so confused. She'd refused his proposal, she'd said some truly rude things. So why was he still thinking about her?
My life with you means everything,
So I won't give up that easily.
I'll blow it away, blow it away.
Can we make this something good?
'Cause it's all misunderstood.
Well, I'll try to do it right this time around.
He truly wanted to spend the rest of his life with her. She was the only person he could see himself marrying and being happy with. But she didn't want him, so he would have to find someone else who would do for the moment. Someone who could love him for now, but that he wasn't committed to forever. He didn't need another Alanna in his life. One was more than enough, thank you.
Let's start over.
I'll try to do it right this time around.
It's not over.
'Cause a part of me is dead and in the ground.
This love is killing me,
But you're the only one.
It's not over.
Jonathan looked around the Grand Ballroom. Were there any prospective women to warm his bed that evening? There were certainly some lovely ones casting gazes his way, but none of them were making him interested. As much as he didn't want to admit it, he was measuring them against Alanna and finding them wanting. None of these women looked like a lioness. And, after a Lioness, could he ever go back?
He chuckled at his own crude cleverness. Suddenly, a lithe, blonde figure caught his eye. She was talking animatedly with his former lover, Delia of Eldorne. What a lovely woman, Jonathan praised. She was tall—he wouldn't be looking down on her as he would Alanna—and lean in all the places Alanna wasn't. This woman had a sly look in her eye that made him think of Alanna. He sauntered over to her.
We can't let this get away.
Let it out, let it out.
Don't get caught up in yourself.
Let it out.
"Hello, my lady," Jonathan said with a bow. Delia and the blonde stopped talking.
"Hello, Jonathan," Delia greeted coolly, curtsying perfectly. "This is Princess Josiane of the Copper Isles. Josiane, this is His Royal Highness, Prince Jonathan of Conté." Josiane curtsied.
"An honor, your highness," Josiane murmured demurely. "I've heard much about you."
"The pleasure is all mine," Jonathan said, kissing her hand. "Would you honor me with this dance, Princess Josiane of the Copper Isles?" Josiane giggled.
"Certainly, your highness," she agreed.
As he led her out onto the floor, he corrected, "Please, its Jonathan."
Let's start over.
I'll try to do it right this time around.
It's not over.
'Cause a part of me is dead and in the ground.
This love is killing me,
But you're the only one.
It's not over.
Miserable. That was the only way to describe how she was feeling. Absolutely miserable. Alanna rolled over in the bedroll she had shared with Jonathan not long ago. If she concentrated very hard, she could still smell his scent…she could still feel the warmth of his naked body against hers, feel his strong form against her hands, his soft lips against her skin… Alanna gasped for air, sitting straight up. She looked around in the dark.
Jonathan wasn't there. Of course he wasn't. Alanna lay back down, cursing herself. He was probably sharing his bed with some new, beautiful Court lady, not even bothering to think about her. "Get a hold of yourself, Alanna," she scolded herself quietly. "What are you thinking?"
As she finally drifted off to sleep, she could hear the echo of Jonathan's deep, clear voice in her head, "I love you, Alanna."
Let's start over.
It's not over, yeah...
This love is killing me,
But you're the only one.
It's not over.
Lyrics by Chris Daughtry, Gregg Wattenberg, Mark Wilkerson, Brett Young
(C) 2006 RCA Records
All rights reserved
