Where She Belongs

Claire always thought of sadness when she looked at her son. He was a cheery little thing with dark blonde hair, much darker than her own, probably a mixture of her and his father's and the clear blue eyes. She felt sad because she knew that they might never escape from this goddamn island. That he might never meet his grandmother or see a city, breathe in the landscapes that other people took for granted and most tried to escape once in a while. Hurley says he's lucky for that but Claire still wishes he could have a chance.

She talks with Sun, a new mother herself, and Shannon about it and a very pregnant Libby, a reminder to the young Australian how seemingly helpless and innocent she had been when they crashed. The girls of the island talk together because they feel a sorority between them. Ana Lucia wouldn't have joined in, even if she had survived the attack by the Others.

Charlie tries to worm his way back into the lives of her and Aaron but when she refuses and shuts herself away from him, he goes insane one night, up to his eyeballs in heroin from the Blessed Mother so much that he snatched Aaron again. Locke and Eko immediately get him back and beat seven shades of pain out of him but it compels her to find somewhere else. The caves aren't safe anymore, because there's always a chance that Charlie could come along and snatch her son and never return with him.

So she gathers her belongings and puts Aaron in the bjorn and walks down to the beach where she knew she'd find him, the lonely bad boy with a penchant for women. She tells him that she's moved down here for safety and he amazes her by making room and letting her stay in his shelter. The shield he puts up for everyone slids apart just for her and Aaron and Claire feels so lucky because over the next few days, she sees a different side to Sawyer.

One night he has a nightmare and when Claire goes to him, touching his face when he refuses to meet her eyes, he eventually does and he crumbles. The curtain falls away and he cries, showing his human side, crying onto Claire's chest while her arms rub and comfort him while she whispers promises into his ear as if he was Aaron's age. He becomes her friend, her best friend actually and they find the most trivial of things they both like being the buildings of a good friendship; the colour blue and spicy prawns and the smell of sandalwood become treasures between them, symbols of their friendship.

So for the rest of their time on the island they talk and eat and look after Aaron until they see a boat in the distance. Everyone runs to the beaches and waves and screams their lungs out until the boat sees them and turns toward the island, a vessel with something written in Spanish or Portuguese on the side which one of them translates as 'Research Facility Brazil'. Claire and Aaron dance on the beach with Sawyer watching from the shadows, a half smile on his face.

They send out lifeboats and everyone insist that Claire and Aaron and Libby and Sun get on the first one. So they are taken to a room in the ship which smells of the cleanliness of laundry and slightly of the fish that the crew no doubt catch but Claire doesn't give a hell because it has soft sofas which make her toes curl in ecstasy with big, soft, oversized pillows in pastel colours and blankets in comforting shades that are such a deep contrast to the sharp tropical colours of the island, the soft white of the towels so unlike the electric blue of the sea, the emerald of the palm trees, the gold of the sand. Claire wraps Aaron in a new blanket and waits for the others to come. When the last person is finally piled in, the ship moves with an almighty thrust and departs away from the island, the Others and Claire wishes she never sees a grain of that sand again.

The next few days are filled with talk and the first chance of hot civilised food in the form of chicken fajitas and lukewarm hamburgers and cold Coke that eventually goes warm but everyone drinks it down . Even Shannon who went vegetarian after the boar incident eats a fajita with gusto and relish and onions and without hesitation. Claire is amazed to see that even though Shannon is still hurting after Boone who is buried in the island is a glorious version of who she was when Claire first met her. Sayid may be her lover but Hurley is her best friend. Shannon falls asleep against Hurley's chest in the middle of the night when the portable television is playing a sitcom in Spanish.

Boone's death really affected Shannon and she needed Hurley to be there for her because he was the one person who was never really connected with her. On the boat, they talk and whisper when others are sleeping about everything and Shannon allows herself to break down about Boone and cry into Hurley's tee shirt. He doesn't even mention. Hurley's like that.

It's almost as if no one sees Hurley's weight and Claire doesn't either, not really. When an Other called Hurley a whale, Jack and Kate and Bernard came to his defence, saying that he needed to be that big to contain his heart. That still makes him blush like a beetroot.

Claire gets little tubs of blended food for Aaron as a mediocre replacement for food but since they've been stuck on an island for months, it's good. Claire gets a chance to talk to people like Alex Rousseau, the girl who saved her life from the Staff - the Medical Station, without fear.

Sawyer watches over Aaron when she needs to sleep and gets some good shut-eye but when she pretends to sleep because he becomes concerned about her, she sees that he always watches her protectively.

Then the ship ports in Rio and the American and Australian embassies put them all in a hotel and they wait for the press to filter away as the Survivors of Oceanic Flight 815 slowly leak away from the news and the press leave for pastures new and they focus on a celebrity's new baby and stuff like that which seems so trivial to Claire. After two weeks of living in a hotel with room service, a swimming pool, government agents and thick comforters, Claire wants to go home. She wants to forget about the Dharma Initiative, the Hanso Foundation, the button, the Stations, the Others and everything else that happend to them on the island. Especially the numbers 4,8,15,16,23 and 42.

Jack and Kate are going back to Los Angeles after finally getting their act together, Walt and Michael to New York with the healed Rose and Bernard. Jin and Sun to Korea or maybe a change of plans and going to the Land of the Rising Sun for some new scenery. Libby gives birth in the hotel to a boy she and Hurley name Boone and Shannon cries at this and promises to always be there. The four of them - Libby, Hurley, Shannon and Sayid - are moving to northern California.

So Claire is naturally and undeniably upset when she realises that she's the only one going back to Australia. Then Sawyer announces he's going with her in the middle of an old 1930s Hitchcock movie and a bucket of Kentucky Fried Chicken sent in from one near the hotel. At first Claire thinks she's misheard but then Sawyer repeats his statement, quieter and more anxious.

"Why?" She asks and the one word becomes the hardest he's ever had to answer.

"Because I love you." The words are half-whispered but Claire hears them crystal clear even though The Man Who Knew Too Much flickers bluish shadows on the two of them. The two of them, because Sun is looking after Aaron so Claire can get some sleep-time to herself.

She doesn't say anything, she just brushes his lips with hers, leaning into the embrace, feeling the warmth and genuine love in his arms as he envelopes her in them. She's always thought of him as handsome but thought he'd never see her as anymore as a friend, the Pregnant Girl. The sheets tangle, the greasy bucket of chicken bones falls to the thickly carpeted floor and the TV stays on until static gleams on them.

Then the ban on Sawyer in Australia is lifted because of everything and they're packing their things into Sellotaped cardboard boxes full of mementos like photos of the Survivors and books. The fateful day arrives and there's kissing and hugging as the two get their flight to Australia, the day before the Americans and Sayid do. They promise to meet up and she knows it's a real, honest promise because they've all been too involved together, they can't let go and they've made a fellowship of sorts, like in that movie with elves and goblins and wizards. For a moment, Claire is scared to leave. She could easily move to Los Angeles or New York or Seattle with Aaron. Maybe after going through everything with these people, it's too hard to leave them. And then Sawyer's hand slips into hers and she knows that it's going to be alright.

The house they move into is nice and spacious and has parts made of cedar wood and actually on the beach which means Aaron can go running down the soft white-golden sands without fear of being attacked by strange people with tattered clothes and other intentions and can go into the turquoise and milk water without having to be extra careful of men emerging from the water to kill him. All that the cerulean ocean has to offer are shells which she goes diving for, half of them pay extra money and half of them decorate their home, pearl and pink and peachy shells which Aaron loves because they sound like the sea to him when he puts them next to his ear.

Sawyer calls her his 'Honey' from Honey Ryder, one of the Bond books she has actually read and seen on the silver screen.

She meets up with her mother and her friends and once saw Richard Malkin and thanks all six foot of him in his house full of yin and yang pendants, pentacles of the elements, palm reading and tarot cards and aura colour sheets for this chance he gave her with her beloved son.

And here she is, standing against the wooden veranda, watching Aaron play with a toy fire engine while Sawyer, her husband tends to the barbecue. Even though she knows his real name's James, she always calls him Sawyer because it reminds her of how they were brought together. The greener than green salad is glistening in the glass bowl on the table, spattered with cherry tomatoes and sliced carrots. The sky is such a gorgeous, serene blue with ripples of powder blue and periwinkle that Claire loses herself in it for a while. The heat of the terracotta tiles of the balcony warms her bare feet and the hint of a breeze brushes against her bare skin and through the thin azure tank top and three quarter cargo pants which show off her native golden skin.

She closes her eyes on the world and smells the hint of honeysuckle from the vines covering the house. And then her husband's familiar hands are around her waist, his nose burrowing into her hair. She opens her eyes and turns to him smiling.

"Penny for your thoughts, darlin'?"

"Just thinking."

"Come on, sweetheart, the food's ready." He takes her hand and Claire watches the muscles move underneath the white kaftan style sleeveless shirt he's wearing and how the linen shorts he's wearing are snug around his behind. They walk down the steps where the sand sponges against her feet and she can smell the sweet peppers and cinnamon and fresh apples that are exhumed by him. His scent.

She sits down at the summer table which shields them from the harshness of the sun. The neighbours wave and smile and Claire does the same out of politeness because even though they are big surfers, they're quiet and don't hold great big parties until 3am like she's used to in suburbia with her mother.

Sawyer tells around it's ready and Claire manages to steady herself when Aaron hurtles into her arms. She gives Aaron a big hug when he runs over to her. Sawyer brings over the grilled hamburgers and sausages and Claire serves them some salad. The tub of vanilla ice cream is in the freezer and the strawberries in a bowl, cool and juicy. Claire pours them glasses of orange juice as her best friend, lover and soul mate sits down opposite her.

He gives her more food because, "You're eating for two now." That's what he always says and Claire rests her hand over her extremely pregnant stomach, feeling the little girl inside kick gently.

She looks around her and then at her husband with his long blonde hair and his crooked smile and his true heart. She's finally where she belongs, with her son and her daughter and her husband by the sea.

And it's all how it should be.

Fin