Hi everyone!

Welcome to UniversalOverlordess's House of Chaos! The ultimate winter getaway, complete with many torture devices! …...yeah. Step in and let your mind be turned into mush! It's great fun! And I really have no idea why I'm saying this like I'm at a carnival! I should stop!

Okay!

So (now that I'm out of crazy-ville), for a while, I was having writers block and it sucked. Because it always does suck. So, my friend xRynnX gave me a prompt, and below all of this babble is what happened when I went crazy with it. I tend to do that. Go crazy, I mean.

So, first things first: Thank you in advance for reading and all that jazz. You are all great. You know the usual thing that usually goes here: read (which you are doing...hopefully), review (yay for feedback!), and enjoy! Yes, I do actually want you to enjoy what I've written. I know, I'm weird, huh?

Second things second: Disclaimer:I do not own KHR, Bones, or The Shining. …...Now I'm sad!

Third things third: Here we go!

Rynn, this one's for you!

Many years before Mammon had died, he'd sat a twelve year old Bel down to have a 'very important talk with you that Lussuria is paying me big money for, so you better listen up!'

Bel, who really couldn't argue with Mammon when he was in full out 'I'm making money' mode, sat cross-legged on his bed, head resting on his hands. Mammon took a deep breath. "Listen, Bel. There comes a time in your life that you will start feeling some odd emotions."

Bel cocked his head to the side. "Other emotions exists other than blood lust?"

Mammon shot him a hard look. "Of course, idiot!"

Bel smirked. It was fun to rile Mammon up.

The acrobaleno sighed. "These feelings will come when you look at a person, female -or male, depending on which team you play for. Let me ask you this, Bel, what do you feel when you see someone cute?"

Bel's smirk grew. "I feel like stabbing them to see if their blood is cute."

Mammon clenched his fists. "This is not worth five hundred dollars..." he muttered, before floating up onto the bed to join the blond murderer. "Do you ever feel anything else?"

Bel frowned and tried to think. "No."

"Well, one day you are going to look at them and want to not kill them to see if their blood is cute. You might want to do other things with that person."

"What other things?"

"I'm not getting paid to teach you that stuff; take it up with Lussuria."

The twelve year old snickered.

"You'll want to have fun with them, and not in the torture-fun way."

This was new to Bel. "Really?"

"Yes, and you will want to be near that person as much as you can. Sometimes, they may make you think some weird thoughts and stuff, and it will be confusing, but you need to not hurt them. Treat them different than you treat others. Be nice to them; kind."

Mammon had then gone on to explain how to be nice to this special person: do not try to kill them; do not try to 'play doctor' and try to open up their stomachs; do not try to stab out their eyes; and do not slit their throats.

This lesson had stuck with Bel, and when Fran was introduced, he got an idea of what those odd emotions Mammon had told him were like:

Fran was...cute.

He wasn't intimidated by Bel, and he took the daily stabbings with a straight face. No one else had done that before. Eventually, Bel began stabbing Fran, not because he wanted to draw blood, but because he wanted to hear more of the little sounds that sometimes escaped Fran's mouth when he stabbed particularly deep. He no longer made Fran wear the frog hat because he was Mammon's replacement; he made Fran wear the frog hat because a) it made him look cute, and b) it had been a gift from Bel, and therefore was the most special gift that the Frog had ever (and would ever) receive from anyone. Bel would make sure of it.

The term 'froggy' became a term of affection, long before Bel could do anything to stop it. Mammon had said that all of these emotions could be put into one word: crush.

Bel had a crush on Fran.

Bel was a prince who had a crush on Fran.

Bel was a prince who always got what he wanted and had a crush on Fran.

Bel was a prince who always got what he wanted, had a crush on Fran, and was going to get his frog.

He was going to get his frog because he was a prince who always got what he wanted.

Ushishishi.

And so, when he had spotted Fran sitting on the couch, staring at the TV screen with the always blank face present, he devised a very smart and prince-like plan:

Take Fran somewhere, and order him to like the Prince.

This ingenious plan was going to get him his frog.

"Listen, Bel. It takes time to get someone to like you, so if you end up liking someone (like you ever would. Lussuria, you owe me so much more than five hundred for this), take your time. Let them come to you."

Okay, so he would buy the frog a gift. Then he would demand that the frog like him.

Yes, that would work.

Ushishishi. This will work, because I'm a prince.

With a giant grin on his face, Bel began to devise a very devious and Prince-like plan.

Ushishishi.

[][][][][]

Fran was a relatively simple person; he liked to sleep in on the weekends; he loved chocolate; like many people, he eventually wanted to fall in love; and like many, many people, he had his favorite television shows.

His television shows were somethings that he kept to himself, just like the rest of the Varia kept their own little secrets.

Not that they really were secrets; Fran knew what they all loved to do in their spare time, even though they tried really hard to keep their activities a secret. Fran was just really good at playing ninja.

First there was Levi. Levi was a die-hard Marilyn Monroe closet fanboy. When all was quiet, he would sneak into his room, lock the door, draw the blinds, and double check that his room was soundproof before hopping onto his bed and watching All About Eve for who knows how many times in a row. The first time Fran had found out about Levi's secret pastime, he'd been very shocked. He had thought that Levi's favorite thing to do would have involved 'Boss Stalking'. To clear up his confusion, he had planted an illusion in Levi's room, all the while knowing that he could have very well been risking what little of his sanity he had left. But, he didn't loose his sanity. He just learned that, yes, Levi was in love with Monroe and yes, Levi really did squeal like a girl.

Lussuria: Lussuria liked to play dress-up. He had a stash of dress-up clothes under his bed that Fran had happened upon one day when Bel had decided to play 'hide and seek' with his 'Froggy'. Fran had been forced to find him because, apparently, when Bel played hide and seek, he took it very seriously, and would not reappear until he had been found. The last time the Varia had played hide and seek and didn't find him, he wasn't seen for two days. After finding out this handy knowledge, Fran had been tempted to 'not find' Bel, but Squalo forced him into finding Bel, and Fran had wandered into Lussuria's room. Bel had been hiding in the closet; finding the box of dresses and make-up had just been a bonus.

Now, for Squalo, his and Xanxus's 'activity' went together. They liked to have sex. As in together.

Enough said.

And then there was Bel, his stupid, fake prince of a senpai. His favorite pastime was not really a secret that he tried to keep hidden. Bel was either an idiot who didn't care, or he was just an idiot. And Fran knew all about it. He'd learned this the hard way:

He'd been forced to watch.

Long story short, Fran decided that he really didn't need to go into ninja mode to find out what Bel's favorite pastime was. His senpai was very open about it.

He liked killing people.

And ripping their limbs off...

...

…...

Yeah.

And as for Fran, he liked to watch Bones. And even though you wouldn't know it, he was very excited about the season finale that he was planning on watching this very second. If the god damn electricity hadn't gone out! And now, he was sitting on his bed, remote in hand, staring at a TV that wouldn't turn on. And, he was also pissed. He was very pissed. He was pissed beyond all reason of doubt. He was going to do something to get rid of being pi-

"VOOI! Fran! We need you to find Bel!"

-maybe not.

With a sigh, Fran placed the remote down on his bed and wandered over to the door. He opened it just as Squalo opened his mouth again. A loud crashing sound came from the downstairs and both Fran and Squalo winced.

"VOOI! Did you not hear me? Go and find Bel!"

Fran cocked his head to the side. "Why me?"

"Because you seem to be the only one who can get him to stop killing people! He wasn't able to play his video game today! That is not good!"

"Again, why me?"

Squalo puffed up his chest. "VOOI! Because I said so! I have to stay here and deal with the riot going on downstairs!"

With a sigh, Fran stepped out of his room and closed the door. "Where did he say he would be killing today?"

"Near the fair grounds."

The only thing Fran could think about as he left the mansion was that, for Squalo's sake, he had better be able to get back in time (and the electricity better be on, damn it!) to see the final episode.

[][][][][][][]

Bel was an easy killer to track. It was sort of like that old saying; where there's smoke, there's a flame, because where there were terrified and high pitched screaming, there was Bel.

Fran considered himself an expert in the ancient art of Bel hunting. It was relatively simple: all one had to do was listen to the screaming.

"Dear god, get away from me!"

...so he needed to take a right at the weird shaped building with the flamingo on it...not a left.

So maybe he wasn't the best Bel hunter out there, but he was still pretty damn good. As he rounded the corner he saw a girl make a mad dash for a tree; a flash of gold followed her. Fran sighed.

Stupid Bel.

The girl was trembling, holding her purse to her chest and gulping. "Please, just take the money," she said, thrusting the purse at Bel. "Just leave me alone!"

Bel smirked at her. "Ushishishi. The Prince doesn't want the money, stupid girl."

She began crying. "Please don't rape me."

Bel paused at that. "What makes you think that the Prince is going to rape you?" He asked, his head cocked to the side.

She stopped crying, looking up at her soon-to-be murderer with wide eyes. "You mean you're not going to rape me? Then what are you going to-"

She never got to finish her sentence as Bel leaned forward and stabbed a knife into her chest. The light left her eyes and she slid to the ground when Bel pulled his knife out. "Ushishishi. The Prince was going to kill you."

Fran stared at him before stepping out of his hiding place. "Senpai, you need to see someone so you can work out all of this anger that you have inside."

Stab.

Fran sighed. "Stupid senpai," he muttered as he pulled the knife out of his back.

Bel ushishishi'd. "Ushishishi. Give the Prince back his knives."

"I'm not doing it."

Bel stuffed his hands into his coat pocket, huffed, and stuck out his lower lip.

He was pouting. Belphegor was pouting. Bel was pouting. Bel was pouting.

No matter which way Fran thought it, it didn't seem to make any sense.

Error, error. Unable to compute. Unable to compute.

Delete data?

-yes-

Download unable to complete. Data deleted. Please try again later.

Two seconds later...

"Senpai, what are you doing?"

"The Prince was bored."

Fran turned to stare at the fair that was going on behind them. "There is a fair right here."

"That costs money."

"Ah, so you're finally admitting that you are broke?"

Stab.

Bel put his elbow on the top of Fran's hat, causing the hat to tip downward and cover Fran's eyes. "Senpai," he stated, trying -and failing- to push the hat up. "I can't see."

"Ushishishi. The Prince is not broke. He just doesn't like to spend money."

Fran froze, his thoughts automatically going to Mammon. "Stupid senpai," he muttered. He'd hoped that by now, Bel would have understood that he was not Mammon.

I guess not. All he ever thinks about is Mammon. I kinda wish that he would think about me...

...Fran. Where did that come from?

Bel placed his head down on the top of the frog hat. "The Prince is bored."

"So? Do something."

He really wanted to get back to his show; it was the season finale for crying out loud! And the electricity better be back on!

"I was doing something. Then the little Froggy had to come and ruin it."

Oh, get over it.

"There are more fun things to do than kill people, Bel-senpai."

He was surprised when Bel grabbed his shoulders in his hands and forced him around. "Prove it."

"Huh?"

"Show me what the 'other' things are."

Unable to process. System will self destruct in three...twoone-

BOOM!

Fran stared at him. "No," he said, trying to jerk out of Bel's grasp; Bel tightened his grip and pulled Fran closer.

"Do you want to die now?"

"Actually, I do."

At this Bel jerked away, as though shocked.

Fran continued. "See, I've been feeling very suicidal lately," he said in mono-tone. "And I was thinking, that maybe it was time for me to die. Naturally, you would be the best candidate to murder me."

Bel stared at him. Fran stared back.

The cat that was crossing the street stared at the both of them for a while before deciding that the mouse sitting by the sidewalk was much more interesting and began to chase it.

Bel smirked. "Ushishishi. The Prince has decided that it is not your time to die."

"Thank heavens," Fran stated, his voice and face emotionless. "I didn't really want to die."

Bel blinked. "Huh? But Froggy just said..."

"It's called sarcasm, senpai. Couldn't you tell from the sound of my voice?"

Bel cocked his head to the side. "Froggy..."

With a sigh, Fran turned away. "Look, I don't like your type of people. The stupid long-haired commander sent me to find you. He said you needed to stop killing people today. Because, apparently, when you can't play your stupid video games (because the stupid electricity is out!) you go on murder sprees. And, apparently, that's not good (why, I'll never really know, but oh well.). I wouldn't be here if I didn't have to be."

Bel folded his arms. He seemed to be in deep thought. Then his head jerked up and he smiled brightly at Fran.

Fran suddenly felt an overwhelming sense of doom.

An 'ushishishi' was the only warning he got before Bel grabbed his wrist and began to pull Fran in the direction of the fairgrounds and mall. "Froggy still needs to show me what the other 'more fun' things are."

Fran, who was slightly in shock, couldn't do anything in protest.

[][][][][]

The whole thing had started earlier that morning. Or more accurately, two hours ago, but really, who was counting? Fran had been reading a book on the couch (1984, by George Orwell), Xanxus was in his room,Levi had been stalking Xanxus, Squalo was yelling at some poor underling, Lussuria was healing seventeen other underlings that Squalo had injured, and Bel...

Bel was missing.

But, really. Fran didn't care.

At all.

...okay, maybe be a little.

Or more then a little.

So, basically, the Varia was doing what they did best when they didn't have a job: absolutely nothing. And then, Hell decided to drop by and offer them some really tempting fruit. Or just make their lives hell.

(Fran was betting on the second one.)

The power went out.

The underlings screamed; the underling that Squalo had been yelling at got stabbed when Squalo turned around a bit too quickly. Levi crashed into the wall; Lussuria let out a mad giggling sound that killed off many eardrums; Fran sighed. And, from above them, Xanxus threw something.

And from the crashing sound it made when it fell, Fran assumed that Xanxus had thrown one of their underlings across the room.

We really need to pay the underlings more money so they can pay for their therapy and hospital bills. ...but then that means less money for me. Never mind. They can get a second job for their hospital bills and therapy sessions.

And so, because he didn't want to deal with the mayhem that was going on around him, Fran made his way up to his room and locked his door. He sighed before making a mental bet against himself that it would be under fifteen minutes before someone came and bothered him.

Thirteen minutes and twenty-seven seconds later Squalo barged in (Fran really needed to get better locks on that thing), demanding that he find Bel.

And that led to him finding Bel, the murdered girl, and-

"Senpai, what are we doing?"

Bel placed a hand over his mouth and snickered. "Be quiet, Froggy," he whispered before ducking back under his hiding spot.

"Why are we hiding in bushes in front of the house of a man who told you your crown was feminine earlier this week?"

Be snickered again before reaching up, grabbing Fran's shoulder, and yanking him down. "Ushishishi. Nothing!"

"Senpai, you could hurt this man if you've done something bad."

Someone remind me why I care?

"He also said that you were feminine, Frog."

Never mind. This guy needs to die!

"Fine. Have fun."

"Shishishi!"

Fran rolled his eyes and peaked out from behind the bush. Wonder what he did...? He thought, waiting. Or, what he is going to do?

They waited for five minutes before the door to the house they were stalking opened and a man in a suit walked out. Bel snickered and took out a knife; what shocked Fran was that it wasn't one of his senpai's normal knives. It was a kitchen knife. That's odd...

Bel suddenly stood up and bolted towards the man, yelling from the top of his lungs, "Here's Johnny!"

Fran almost slammed a hand to his face, the man screaming in the background and Bel's snickers surrounding his senses. Who let him watch The Shining? Everyone knows that it gives him bad ideas!

By the time that Fran looked up, Bel was chasing the man around the yard and yelling, "You shouldn't have called the Prince's crown feminine!"

Dear God. Why do you hate me? I'll I've done is commit blasphemy with every opportunity that I get...

The illusionist sighed before creating an illusion over the poor man, causing Bel to stop running and to look around in confusion. Fran then stood up from his spot by the bush. "Senpai," he called, causing Bel to look at him. "Let's do something more...fun."

Stab.

Bel then smiled a smile that would have made any dentist very proud. "Lead the way, Froggy."

And Fran did.

All he had to do was take Bel somewhere he could have fun without hurting innocent people.

He just didn't know if a place like that existed.

[][][][][]

Bel remembered Mammon's lesson on love. He remembered it very well. About an hour into the lesson, Mammon had grown frustrated and had decided to put all of the facts that Bel would need to know into simple steps:

Step one: Be kind, and do not stab them excessively.

Bel had only stabbed Fran twice so far, so he decided that he could mentally check that one off.

Step two: Take them out.

Bel had taken Fran outside. Step two was checked off.

Step three: Show off your masculinity.

Bel had chased the man who had called his crown and Fran feminine around with a knife. Step three checked off.

Step four: Take them some place fun.

Bel glanced around at where they were: they were at a strip mall. Malls were fun. Step four checked off.

Step five: Make sure they are having fun.

And this was where he was failing. So far, Fran was not showing that he was having fun. Then again, he never showed when he was enjoying anything, so Bel wasn't certain if the Frog was having fun. Oh well.

He glanced around the mall, taking in the carousel that some kids were riding on. There were some horses, a dragon, and-

"Ushishishi."

-a frog.

Out of his peripheral, he saw Fran's shoulders droop slightly. Bel smirked. Maybe he would have Fran ride the frog-thing on the carousel. That would be fun.

Right?

Bel let out a little sigh as Fran began to look around the mall with a blank expression on his face. Then, the illusionist's stomach let out a growl.

"Shishi. Hungry, Frog?"

Fran shrugged his shoulders. "Sure..." he said, not looking enthusiastic about food. Not really looking enthusiastic about anything.

"Aren't you having fun, Froggy?"

Fran stared at him, his face completely emotionless. "I am."

"No. Froggy isn't showing it on his face."

"This is my happy face."

And Bel decided that food would be a good thing; he grabbed Fran's hand and pulled him to the nearest restaurant.

[][][][][]

Bel really was an idiot, Fran decided as he sat at the table in the restaurant. Alone.

Bel had dragged him to a nice, fancy restaurant, because it was 'only the best for the Prince. Ushishishi.' He'd ordered food, dessert, and then left, saying he had to get something and told Fran to not leave the table until he'd gotten back 'or else'. And that had been over two hours ago. Sighing, Fran twirled his fork around in his hand, glancing around the restaurant. There were only about three couples left in the restaurant, and the manager was sending a glare in his direction.

Senpai, hurry up!

His mental plea went unheard as another hour ticked by. By now, Fran was the only person left in the restaurant, as the restaurant had closed thirty minutes ago. He would have left by now, but he didn't have the money to pay the ridiculously high bill. By now, almost the entire staff of the restaurant were staring at him, their eyes boring into the back of his skull. He was debating on whether or not to kill them all, but then decided that if he did kill them, he'd be lowering himself down to Bel's level, and he didn't want to do that. So, he settled for finishing his dessert, trying to convince himself that cold cake was very delicious.

It was hard.

A tap on his shoulder drew his attention away from the sagging cake slice. He looked up into the deep blue eyes that looked like the ocean; into the face of perfection; the smile of kindness-

"What? I'm trying to eat this disgusting piece of cake here."

Fran didn't really care for perfection, the ocean, or kindness. He was an assassin for crying out loud. The man continued to smile. "Do you need me to pay the bill? I get a discount because I work here."

Fran sighed. "Whatever. My date ditched me."

The Perfect Man held out a perfect hand that Fran ignored and instead stood up by himself. "Here," he said, handing over the receipt. Perfect Dude took it, his smile never waning even as he looked at the price. "Enjoy spending that kind of money."

The Man nodded. "I will. You can go ahead and leave," he said placing a hand on Fran's lower back. "I'll see to the bi-"

There was a sudden crash, a BOOM, a BANG and a loud' HUUUUH?'

Everyone in the building turned to see Bel standing in the entrance to the restaurant, his mouth completely open. Fran tried to hide back a smirk. "Thanks," he said in mono-tone to Mister Perfect. "I'll see you later."

And he walked out of the restaurant, leaving a pissed off Bel to deal with the rest of the restaurant.

Two hours later at the fairgrounds

He was waiting in line for the ferriswheel, trying to get rid of the sadness that came with the fact that he knew that he would miss the season finale of Bones that came on in a few hours, when he felt an arm wrap around his waist. "You know, you could have just said 'I like you'."

"Ushishishi."

Fran sighed and rolled his eyes. Then he turned to stare at his senpai. "You smell like smoke. What did you do?"

Bel just snickered.

They were next to go, and soon they were situated on the wheel seats, strapped in. When they were heading up, Bel shoved a plastic bag in his hands. "What's this?"

"The Prince forgot to give Froggy the gift."

"Gift?"

"Yes, Mammon gave the Prince a list of things to do for the person (or Frog) that he liked and-"

Fran shut him up by leaning over and planting a kiss on his lips. "Next time, just do what your gut tells you. And make sure that the date doesn't involve blood."

Bel snickered. "I can do that."

Fran almost smiled, but he lost the smile when he opened the bag. Inside was a stuffed frog. He sighed, and then the smile came out. "Thank you, senpai."

Bel smirked. "The Prince is glad that he killed the power to the mansion now."

Wow. What?

Bel was the reason that the power went out? Bel was the reason that there was a riot going on in the mansion? Bel was the reason that he'd miss the season finale? Oh, he was pissed! He was pi-

Bel leaned over and planted his lips on Fran's.

-he was happy.

He was also confused. "Senpai," he stated, pulling back from the kiss. "What did you do to make the power go out."

Bel looked confused. "The Prince just switched the power breakers in the basement. Why?"

Fran smirked.

Bel looked scared.

[][][][][]

There really had been a riot at the mansion: there were pieces of furniture scattered around the main floor; the kitchen table was in two pieces; the living room was a mess; people lay on the ground moaning and clutching puncture wounds and cuts. Glass lay everywhere on the floor, and parts of the ceiling were falling off.

Fran ignored everything and made his way down to the basement. He'd told Bel to wait in his room. Normally, he'd never even think about letting Bel even near his room, but desperate times called for desperate measures. He didn't want anything to happen to his TV while he was down in the basement. Soon, he found the power breaker switches and flipped them:

The lights came back on.

With a small grin that showed just how happy he was on the inside (and really, a small grin meant that if he was a normal person, he'd be grinning from molar to molar), he made his way back upstairs, over the groaning bodies and the people crying out for medical care and water, up to the second floor of the mansion, and to his room.

Bel was sitting on his bed, TV remote in hand and a smirk on his face. The television was on, and it was on the channel that Bones was playing on. "It's coming on, Froggy."

Fran would have made a mad walk to his bed and plopped down onto it, but that would have shown how excited he was, and emotionless illusionists don't get excited. They just don't. It goes against the Code that was set down by Morgan and Bartholomew.

...not the pirates, Morgan and Bartholomew. The illusionists. Most people didn't know about them.

Instead, he walked over to his bed in his normal pace, sat down, and curled up into Bel's embrace. As they began to watch the season finale together, ignoring the cries and screams coming from the floor below them, Fran had to admit to himself:

He was glad that Bel had cut the power as well.

And there it was! I hoped that you enjoyed reading it; I certainly had fun writing it. So, uh, yeah. Review?