"Mick."

"Hmm..."

"Wake up Mick."

"No."

"Seriously Mickey. You gotta wake up. Now."

"What's goin on?"

"I need you."

"The fuck? You did not just wake me up to fool around..."

"Mickey!"

The tone of Ian's voice made Mickey jump up on high alert.

"WHAT?"

"There's a...um...uh...there's..."

Mickey reached over in the darkness and patted around until he found Ian. His skin was damp and he was shivering.

"Are you sick? What's goin on man?"

Ian shook his head wildly. "No not sick. There's a...on the wall...next to my head..."

"A what?"

Mickey heard the audible gulp his boyfriend made.

"Spider." He whispered.

If it wasn't so surreal Mickey would've laughed his ass off. As it was, the clock showed it was 3:47 and Ian was in a crippled state of distress.

"You're scared of spiders?" He mumbled tiredly. "They don't hurt you."

"Too many legs. Too many eyes. Too..."

"Too?"

Ian shuddered. "Too hairy."

"Is this really happening? Am I still asleep?" Mickey rubbed his eyes to prove he was actually awake.

"Please Mick. I need you to move it." Ian's voice trembled with fear.

"Alright. Hang on...I need to put the light on..."

"No! I don't want to see it all lit up!"

"It's not a fuckin Christmas tree Ian!" Mickey snapped, seeing the digital clock display ticking closer to 4am. He had to be up in two hours for work and he wasn't a good morning person at the best of times.

Ian whimpered. He actually whimpered.

"Alright tough guy. Close your eyes. I need to see what I'm catching here."

Ian complied and waited for the click of the light switch.

"HOLY FUCK!" Mickey shrieked.

Ian jumped, arms flailing wildly but his eyes remaining tightly screwed shut.

"It's fuckin huge Ian! Shit! Fuck! Oh Jesus CHRIST!" Mickey hollered.

Ian squirmed uncontrollably. "I know it's fuckin huge Mickey. How do you think I saw it in the dark? Just move it!"

"I can't pick that up! It's bigger than my head! It's escaped from somewhere. A zoo or something! Fuck Ian!"

The bedroom door swung open and slammed against the wall loudly. Ian and Mickey both reacted in the same way: shrieking hysterically.

"What are you doing? It's four in the morning. Why are you yelling?"

Mickey stared at his son. Was he seriously getting told off by an eight year old?

"We have a little situation Yev. No big deal."

Yev narrowed his eyes sleepily. "What is it? Can I help?"

Ian groaned. "I really want to open my eyes. Please get rid of it!"

Yev frowned at his parents. "Why are you being so weird...? Oh hey look! There's a big spider on the wall! Wow. I've never seen one that big in real life before! That's so cool!"

Mickey watched in abject horror as Yev leapt onto the bed next to Ian and inspected the invader closely.

"Yev. I swear to God I love you but if that spider falls on my head you're going to live with Frank at the homeless shelter." Ian growled anxiously.

"Yev...we just need it out of the house. Go grab me the waste basket from the kitchen." Mickey decided to take control of the spiralling situation.

"Open the window." Yev pointed behind Mickey. "Wide open. I'll get out."

The two men could only observe as the child took control and patiently moved the spider off the wall and into his hands before throwing it out into the back yard. Mickey quickly closed the window and pulled together the curtains.

"Okay. Now we just need to chop off your hands and then we're good to go back to sleep." Ian grinned.

Yev rolled his eyes. "I thought you guys are meant to be tough."

"Yev...it was bigger than my HEAD!" Mickey reiterated emphatically.

"Can you be quiet and go to sleep now? I've got my science project to present tomorrow morning and I don't wanna mess it up because you two big babies kept me up all night." The youngster huffed and stomped to the door.

Mickey raised his eyebrows at the attitude from his boy but Ian just grinned widely.

"Thanks Yev." He called out to Yev's retreating figure. "You're my hero."

"GO TO SLEEP!"