AN: Hi Guys a little multichapter goodness for you, I posted this last night but somehow got deleted so hoping this works.
Even after you ruined me for any other, I cannot regret you. Even as I cleave the flesh of wanting from the bone, I hope the night sky is pretty wherever you are. -Unrequited.
1. Your Majesty
She remembers the very first time she saw him.
It was her first day at school, and she couldn't have been more excited. Really she was supposed to be in kindergarten with Luke, but she found it far too easy. She was sick of drawing boats and practicing the ABCs until her voice hurt, she wanted to read and write and learn, really be challenged. One day she planned on becoming president or a doctor or a senator and she couldn't do so if she was singing "twinkle twinkle little star". Her parents had finally given in to her requests and enrolled her in elementary a year early.
So here she was, standing with a stern faced teacher at the front of a chaotic classroom, brimming with excitement for the day ahead. Once the teacher had finally settled the rest of the class, he introduced her and Leia squirmed under the scrutiny of her classmates. Some of them looked affronted that there was such a young girl in their grade, others seemed interested in her designer T-shirt and shiny shoes, but there was one pair of eyes that she met before anyone else's. He was scruffy and unkept, sitting alone at the back of the classroom. His shirt was dirty and so was his face, but even so she thought he might be the cutest boy that she'd ever seen in real life.
The teacher of course seated her with the kindest looking girl in the room, her name was Mon and she smiled brightly, loving being singled out and offered to show Leia around. Leia was grateful, but she couldn't stop thinking of the boy.
She learned his name the next day.
She was playing tag with a group of girls at recess and she ran so fast at one point that she didn't look where she was going and crashed face first into the boy. She'd collided so hard into him that she knocked both of them to the ground. She started to apologize but the boy just laughed and laughed like it was the funniest thing that ever happened to him. She'd grown cross and pushed off of him calling him a scruffy little nerfherder.
"That's Han to you, your majesty!" He said, sounding older than his 7 years. It sent a wave of butterflies through her stomach that she couldn't explain.
As she walked away to resume her game, she turned back and he was sat on the ground watching her, with a look on his face that she couldn't identify. She felt the corners of her mouth begin to turn up and turned away abruptly, breaking into a run again, trying to forget about Han and his stupid smile that made her feel like she was flying.
Boys were so icky.
…..
2. The Wind In The Willows
It's about 5 years later when Han comes to her house the first time. It was just after her parents died.
It was Leia and Luke's 11th birthday party and Luke most definitely had more friends in attendance than she did. She tried her very best to socialize with everyone, joking and laughing and talking about the latest episode of Space Wars. Everyone was polite to her but they sensed her sadness and she wasn't in with their crowd so she found herself at the corner of the party room reading and feeling more miserable than she had in years.
That was when Han Solo walked in, in his 6th grade, scruffy glory. A couple of guys called him over immediately, Han was a popular guy, but his eyes instantly found Leia and he ignored them, sitting down next to her silently. They didn't talk much, in fact they mostly shouted… but when he was being sincere she always felt funny. She could never put her finger on it. She pretended she didn't see him there, focusing intently on the words in front of her.
Han cleared his throat after a few moments and Leia prepared herself for a sarcastic comment or for some jibe at her appearance but none came. Instead he asked what book she was reading. She was surprised but didn't let it show, holding the book up for him to see the cover. Han nodded in response to the cover and fell into silence once again. After a few moments he cleared his throat again.
"That's one of my favorites." He said, causing Leia to meet his eye, her brow furrowed.
"The book. The Wind In The Willows." Han clarified nodding at the book in her hand. Leia kept her eyes on him for a long time and it must've been the light or something but she thought she saw a blush cross his face.
"My mom used to read it to me." He explained and Leia closed the cover, giving Han her full attention.
"Really?" She asked, not a hint of the usual annoyed tone she often used around him. "So did mine."
"Isn't Beru...?"
"She isn't my mother." Leia cut him off, knowing already what Han was going to ask, everyone always asked the same thing.
"She's our Aunt." She explained hurriedly, hoping Han wouldn't interrogate her further.
He didn't, he just offered her a smile and Leia felt her face heat up, it must've been from the summer heat. Must've been.
"I don't live with my mom either." Han told her suddenly. "I live with my best friends family."
"Your best friend? Chewie?" Chewie was a mute boy in their class who seemed to always be around Han. He wasn't at the party tonight and she wondered why but Han seemed to read her mind.
"They're on vacation this weekend. I would've gone but Luke wanted me here." He explained and Leia nodded before frowning again.
"So you're home alone?"
"Of course not. I'm staying here." He held up a small full backpack and grinned at her, eyes twinkling while she grimaced. Of course he was.
"Han!" Some guy yelled at him from the other side of the room, Han looked up and nodded at his friend.
"Be right over!" He called, but he stayed sitting next to Leia.
"Aren't you gonna join the party?" She asked, feeling a little downhearted in spite of herself. Nobody yelled across rooms for her.
Han seemed to read her expression and stood, offering a hand to help her up.
"Only if you do too."
She considered him a moment, not sure how to react. Why was he being so nice to her?
Was he making fun of her? No.
Did he actually want her around?
Of course not. But then again…
He was staring at her oddly, he looked almost hopeful and it was confusing. He hated her! He teased her every opportunity he could, she was pretty sure he laughed about her to all his stupid friends but she had to admit she felt tempted to follow him. There was sincerity in his eyes she'd never seen before but also vulnerability there, load and clear. He was afraid of her rejection, Han Solo, 6th grade badass was scared of being rejected.
She hesitantly took his proffered hand and let him help her stand. Their hands remained joined for a couple of seconds that felt like minutes, Leia looked up at Han's face to find him looking at their entwined fingers. She felt heat spread across her face yet again and cleared her throat. Han seemed to realize what he was doing and dropped her hand like it burned. He ran a hand through his hair nervously and tried for a smile, but it came out uncharacteristically nervous.
Good. She thought. At least we're on the same page.
She opened her mouth to say something when Luke appeared grinning widely.
"Han! You came!" He exclaimed running to hug his friend Han returned it, grinning and patting his back.
"Happy Birthday, better Skywalker." He turned and winked at Leia, the arrogance she was used to was back in his voice. Leia sighed, well that lasted a long time.
They went back to their 'Tom and Jerry' routine after that, but it felt like a turning point to Leia. Perhaps she was right.
…..
3. Sadie
He went to the same High School she did.
Just when she thought she might get rid of him.
Then again Tatooine wasn't exactly a big place there weren't too many options, still she was shocked when she sees him that first morning.
He was in very few of her classes and she was both thrilled and horrified.
He was so distracting.
He sat with her sometimes and he'd seem genuinely happy to see her. That was nice.
He kissed random girls sometimes, anywhere, everywhere. That was less nice.
They were never serious though and that was why it surprised her when Han started dating Sadie in 9th grade. She's not so sure why it bothered her so much. Sadie was beautiful and tall and blonde, all things she wished she could be but was not. She told herself she didn't care. Not about Han or his love life. But when she saw them together something she couldn't comprehend made her want to run over and pull him away from her.
Maybe she needed to get a new hobby.
…..
4. Dealer
She started to get suspicious one Monday, when she saw him across the canteen. He was sitting alone, with a tray of food in front of him but not touching one bit of it, which was odd seeing as he was the single most gluttonous guy Leia had ever met.
A freshman approached him and Leia half expected Han to send him on his way but instead he reached into his backpack and handed the kid a large paper bag. The frosh thanked him before handing him a bunch of dollars and scuttling off excitedly. Leia had been dumbfounded. There had been rumors of drug-dealing within the school walls, in fact the principal had addressed the school directly, making it absolutely clear that he would not tolerate such things and anyone caught doing so would be severely punished.
She decided not to confront him then. Perhaps she'd been mistaken, nobody was stupid enough to deal drugs in a food hall in broad daylight to a freshman so she let it pass. Then it happened again and again, then it was every day that week.
The rage inside her began to build and build.
Was Han Solo really so stupid as to risk his education? To risk the education and health of the teenagers he sold to?
Finally, the following Monday after handing packages to not one, but two or their peers, Leia had had enough.
She stormed towards him and ignoring his attempt at a greeting she grabbed the front of his shirt, and pulled him along with her out of the food hall and into the hallway. Luke passed them by and eyed Leia questioningly. She rolled her eyes by way of explanation and Luke raised his hands as if to say he was fine not knowing. Finally she stopped, shoving Han into the wall furiously.
"What are you doin…" He started but Leia cut him off.
"I always knew you were an idiot Han Solo but I had no idea how much till today."
Han's brow furrowed, there was no sign that he knew what she was talking about but she knew how good his poker face was so she continued.
"Do you ever think about the consequences of what you do? Not just to those kids you sell drugs to but to yourself? You must have a death wish." She snapped with more ferocity than she knew she had.
"Drugs?" Han stared dumbly at her for a few moments before the realization dawned across his face.
"It's not what you think." He explained and then looked down at his feet sheepishly. "I'm selling candy."
Leia couldn't have been more shocked if he'd told her he was joining a monastery. No this was the last thing she'd expected him to say.
"Candy…" She didn't sound convinced so Han sighed and leaned in as if relaying top secret information to her.
"I don't get paid a hell of a lot at the hardware store and I can't get another job since I'm in school, so during my breaks I-"
"Sell candy." Leia finished for him. She couldn't help it; it was just so ludicrous and surreal that a flurry of giggles bubbled from her lips. Han frowned, offended.
"It's not funny, it sells a lot more than you'd think." He grumbled but it only worsened the situation.
Leia put her head in her hands and continued to giggle into them, feeling lighter and more at ease than she had been for…well years. He was selling candy to freshmen it was probably the most innocent thing she had ever heard. And coming from Han Solo, who saw himself as such a badass…
"Oh, I think that's the best thing I've ever heard." She said between gasps. "Oh god this is too good! I thought you were a drug dealer but you're the goddamn candy man! Oh my…"
Her laughter stopped her from continuing. Leia was now doubled over, tears flooding from her eyes and a real, huge, genuine laugh bursting out of her, a laugh she usually held back from. She was once told by her birth father that she was ugly when she laughed and that always stuck with her, so she tried her hardest not to. Now that she started she couldn't seem to stop. Han was clearly taken aback but some of his earlier annoyance had vanished and there was a glint of amusement in his eye.
"Laugh it up your worship." Han tried to keep a stern face but his lip curled up a little, then he smiled, then grinned ear to ear and then he joined her laughter loudly and as ridiculous as she was. He was practically cackling and it was one of the most magical sounds Leia had ever heard. He wasn't a stranger to laughing, but usually it was a teasing chuckle, nothing more but now it was as if they were in tandem. Finally equals. Leia snorted loudly and she should've be embarrassed but Han sharing in her humor just set her off again. She could feel people begin to stare at the two of them, standing in the hallway in hysterical laughter, but she couldn't find it in herself to care. She was shaking so much from laughing that Han had to steady her, one hand on her hip, the other on her shoulder. She froze, her laughs came to an abrupt halt as she met his eyes. It was like a jolt of electricity passed through her body, she was overcome by how handsome he'd become. Sure she'd always found him cute, attractive, whatever, but she hadn't thought too much into it but at that moment she truly realized the effect he had on her.
His eyes darted between her eyes and lips and Leia inhaled shakily before taking a step closer. She wanted to kiss him, she realized she had for ages, and if she didn't know any better…She saw something in his eyes that drew her in, the pupils dilated and her butterflies increased. There was an energy between them that was indescribable and she felt a tug at her heart towards him. She knew now that she wanted him for herself. She wanted to be with him. She wanted to be the one to make him smile and laugh and kiss her in the hallways. She almost considered just kissing him to see what happened but then she remembered…. he had a girlfriend. He was with the prettiest girl in school, he was crazy about Sadie he didn't want Leia. She was deluding herself.
As if to confirm this insight, Sadie appeared from behind Han, wrapping her arms around Han's waist tightly.
"Miss me?" She asked flirtatiously and Han stilled, his face paling like a child caught out for something. Leia guessed he was worried Sadie would misinterpret their relationship. She almost scoffed at that, as if.
"I have to get to class." Leia lied quickly, she had a free period but she wasn't about to stand there and watch the couple make out for 10 straight minutes. "See you later Han, Sadie."
"Bye Leia." Sadie said cheerily, oblivious to Leia's glares. Her arms remained around Han's waist, but he wasn't returning her caresses, instead his eyes intently fixed on Leia. He seemed momentarily speechless, then he cleared his throat.
"I'll see you soon, yeah?" He asked nervously and Leia was almost lost for words. This guy was gonna be the death of her.
"Yeah." She replied croakily, her voice still stuck in her throat. She forced herself to turn away, but not before Sadie walked around Han's body to kiss him. He returned it slowly and it felt like a bullet to the heart.
She didn't like this new development one little bit.