"EDO-KUUUNN!!"
Ed wakes up, hearing a faint squealing ring in his ears. He must have fallen asleep again. Stupid long train rides. There's nothing to do on them. They really should have the alchemic technology to improve the trains now, or at least rerout them-
"EDO-KUUUNNN!!!"
He turns toward the new voice. He sees... Oh, god. Not another one.
"OHMYGOD IT IS YOU."
Ohmygod, it is what I think it is. A Mary Sue. Talking just encourages them, Colonel Bastard says... They can smell your fear... And they have surprisingly few morals when it comes to brutal rape...
The hideous creature began some sort of oral seizure. "MY NAME IS KAORI MITSUKANAO AND I LUVV YOU SOOOO MUCH. EVEN THOUGH MY HEART IS ICY AND FROZEN BECAUSE OF ALL OF THE PAIN I WENT THROUGH AS A CHILD. MY MOTHER WAS A SUCCUBUS AND MY FATHER WAS A DEMON AND THEY KILLED EACH OTHER AND THEN THEY KILLED THE REST OF ALL OF THE PEOPLE IN MY FAMILY EXCEPT FOR ME."
Biggest mistake of their lives, kid, leaving you alive. I shouldn't say anything to it, but I wonder what would happen if I told it that I just wanted to go back to sleep...
"WILL YOU MARRY ME? I WILL OPEN MY DARK FORTRESS OF A HEART TO YOU. OH AND ARE YOU WITH ROY?"
That was the Last Straw. Ed snapped. Coherent thought cut off and killing instinct kicked in. With a flash of transmutation, the 'shnnk' of metal shifting, and some R-rated violence, the 'demobus' still had enough pathetic life in its automail-punctured heart to sputter out a last fangirlism.
"If you are... c-can I watch...?"
Ed put the poor, miserable creature out of its misery.