A/N: I have had this story floating around in my brain for a while. Inconceivable is one of my favorite episodes and holds special meaning for me. This story starts our set during the episode of Inconceivable. I will have lines from the episode in italics. It will not follow along with anything else from the show. For the purpose of this story Elliot and Kathy got divorced during their separation and Eli was never born. Anyways, on with the story.
Olivia's POV:
Me and Elliot just got through interviewing a couple who were linked to some of the missing embryo's that were stolen from the cryobank. This case has started to get to me and I think Elliot can tell. I get into the car, sigh and lean my head against the window. I am annoyed with the couple we just interviewed but I am more annoyed with myself and how I let my life get to this point.
"You know you would make a great mom." Elliot says after finally getting in the car
"Oh, my, god, I'm not having this conversation." I say exasperatingly, I really want him to drop this discussion.
"You're great with kids."I hear him continue.
I just keep staring out the window hoping the silent treatment will work. It seems it doesn't work on Elliot though, he always has been stubborn.
"Look, maybe you should start thinking about having kids and any way you want to do it I will support you." Elliot says sincerely
He doesn't realize how much that statement means to me, at this point in time. My eyes start to tear up, but I will them away. I will not cry in front of Elliot, my partner and best friend, so I do the only thing I know how to do.
"El, do me a favor. Just shut up and drive." I say closing myself off.
I hear him sigh heavily before starting the car. I know he is annoyed that i won't open up right away. I am just not ready to talk about this right now.
A couple hours later I meet up with Eva Sintzel at a diner, to update her on our progress. She too had embryo's in the cryotank that was stolen. She has been very distraught seeing as how this was her last chance to have kids.
"Do you have kids?" Eva asks
"Uh, No." I reply quietly looking anywhere but at her.
"Don't you want them?" Eva asks while trying to gauge if we are anything alike.
"I...Yes, I do. Very much." I say looking at her now.
"Then what are you waiting for?" Eva retorts sternly
I just sit there for a few minutes staring at her. I see myself in her. I have always wanted kids, but I kept putting it off. I always thought I would have been married and settled down by now, but who am I kidding the man I want to be with doesn't see me that way. I hear my biological clock ticking louder than ever now. It's telling me I need to figure out what I want to to before it is absolutely too late. I finally force myself to say goodbye to Eva. I need to be alone with my thoughts for awhile.
I took a week off after we closed the case. It really hit me hard that we didn't find the embryo's in time. The night we closed the case I went straight home, fell into bed and cried for hours. Elliot tried to call me a couple of time, but I just let it go to voicemail.
It's day three of my week off and I am nervous about tonight. I have Invited Elliot over for dinner. I need to talk to someone about my decision, regarding kids, so why not talk to my best friend. I am usually not nervous around Elliot, but then again we don't usually talk about personal problems either. That seems to be changing between us though.
I have just finished getting ready. I threw on a pair of dark blue jeans and a short sleeved yellow t-shirt. I have on very little makeup, just a little eye liner, mascara and lip gloss. I wanted to keep things casual. I am pulling my hair into a ponytail as I walk back towards the living room I hear him knock on the door.
"Come in." I yell, knowing it's Elliot
Elliot walks in carrying the chinese food I asked him to bring. I admit I am not much of a cook. He looks good in his blue jeans, that I rarely see him in anymore, and his blue polo shirt. He also has a couple days worth of stubble, which I like on him as well. I grab some plates to divide up the food while Elliot pours the wine. We take the food into the living room and sit one on each end of the couch.
"I have been worried about you, Liv. I knew the case was hard on you. I was so glad when you called and asked me to come over." Elliot states between bites
"I am sorry I worried you. I have had a lot of stuff to work through the last couple of days and just need some alone time." I say
"Do you want to talk about it?" Elliot asks after a couple minutes of silence
I put my near empty plate on the coffee table. I wipe my now sweaty palms on my jean clad thighs.
"I actually did want to talk to you about something. Do you remember the other day when you told me to start thinking about kids?" I ask nervously
"Yeah, I meant what I said. I will support you no matter what." Elliot says
"El, a few months ago, I looked into adoption." I say looking away because I cannot look at him and says this.
I stand up and start to pace after a few minutes of silence.
"Unfortunately, they turned me down. I am single, with no extended support system. I work all hours. They didn't see me as prim parent material." I say as I stand looking out the window from my living room.
The tension in the room is palpable, I could feel his presence behind me.
"They're wrong." He says before pulling me into a hug.
I relax into the hug and revel in the way his body feels against mine.
"I'm really sorry. I know how much you want kids." I hear him whisper into my hair.
I pull away, not just because I need to continue with the conversation but because I am afraid if I stay in his arms much longer then I might do something regrettable.
"I found another option." I say returning to the couch.
"Really? That's Great! What is this other option?" He asks me as he joins me
Before I can respond he pulls my feet into his lap and starts to massage my feet. Normally we would not be like this, normally I wouldn't allow him to do this, but this whole night is not normal. I know he's just trying to help me relax but it's not helping with my concentration.
"I'm going to start fertility treatments." I say regaining my composure
That got his attention cause he suddenly stops. He looks at me with a look of confusion.
"How, will you do that? I mean you're not seeing anyone are you?" Elliot says with confusion written all over his face.
I pull my feet from his lap and scoot closer to him. I am now sitting sideways facing him with our legs touching.
"El, I am definitely not seeing anyone. I am going to use a donor." I say looking down at my hand on his thigh.
I pause because I am very nervous about the reaction I might get, with what I am about to ask of him. I have never asked Elliot for any kind of personal favor, so this is new territory.
"El, I want you to help me choose a donor. You know since you're my best friend and all." I say quickly before I can change my mind.
He doesn't say anything. I look at him. He looks like he is lost deep in thought.
"I mean, you don't have to. I know I am asking a lot." I say standing up. I need some space.
He grabs my arm and pulls me back down before I can walk away.
"Liv, I want to help you, but not like that." He says tenderly
"I want to be your donor." I hear him say gently as he lifts my face to look at his.
A/N: What will Olivia's reaction be? Please read and review, let me know what you think or if you have any suggestions.