Summary: A little Finchel one-shot set right after "Good-Bye". I don't know how else I'm going to get through this next season of Glee without letting loose with a few one-shots now and then. (This is my first Finchel fic and my first fic in a while.)
Disclaimer: I don't own Glee, or the song, which is by Blake Shelton. I just heard it earlier today, and my fingers were practically itching with the need to write this fic.
Please enjoy, and even though it's a one-shot, let me know what you think.
Over
Rachel was lost, completely an utterly lost. Not just because she didn't know where she was, but because she had no idea what her dream was anymore. She had been in New York City for a grand total of 4 hours and she had yet to find anything in the city that gave her even the smallest glimmer of hope for the future.
She had met up with her fathers at the dorms of NYADA and picked out her dorm, but she couldn't say what it looked like. She had been working on autopilot for the past 7 hours now, ever since Finn had broadsided her by putting her on that damn train. But here she was, standing on some nameless street in New York City, and somehow she felt like the city she had always called her second home was a complete stranger to her.
Making a spilt-second decision, Rachel raised her right hand up, bringing her left hand to her lips and letting out an ear-splitting whistle. Within seconds a bright yellow taxi appeared on the curb in front of her. She knew that if she let herself think too much on what she's about to do she would somehow talk herself out of it. "JFK. I have somewhere I need to be, and soon."
***LIMA***
Finn was sure that he had done the right thing. Wasn't there a song or something that said that sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing were the same? Well, whoever it was that sang that song was right, because he had just done the hardest thing he had ever done in his entire life.
Finn had been wandering around Lima for the past two hours. He had gone home to try and get his mind off of Rachel and the look in her eyes when he had told her that he was going to be at Fort Benning, Georgia. He had never told her that he was joining the army, she had come up with that conclusion herself; he just didn't correct her. There was no way that she was going to leave if she didn't whole-heartedly believe that he was going to be somewhere that she couldn't follow.
"Hey, man, penny for your thoughts?" A familiar voice rang out in the silence. Only then did Finn allow himself to look up and really notice where he was. He was in front of Will Shuester's apartment building and Mr. Shue was actually the one talking to him.
"Is that really all they're worth?" Finn asked, letting out a small chuckle. The noise sounded strange to his ears, like it was coming from someone else.
"I'm sure they're worth so much more." Mr. Shue said, noting Finn's appearance. "Why don't you come in and take a load off? You look like you could really use a friend right now."
Finn nodded his head and followed his old teacher, hoping that Mr. Shue would know what to say to him to make everything okay.
"Finn, take a seat." Mr. Shue said, pointing to his couch.
Finn did what he was told, wondering what was coming. Mr. Shue had seemed so behind his choice to send Rachel away to follow her dreams. He had been there earlier at the train station. He had wished her the best of the platform. So why did he seem to have that glimmer of sadness and disappointment in his eyes? "Mr. Shue, is it me that needs to take a load off, or is it you?" Finn asked, unsure if he really wanted to know the answer to his question.
"To be honest, Finn, I think it's a little of both." Mr. Shue said, taking a seat in a chair on the other side of Finn. "So, if you don't mind, I'd like to say my piece and then you can say yours." Finn didn't say anything, just nodded his head. Of course Mr. Shue would have something to say about his choices, and Finn did value his opinion over most people.
"Finn, I...I don't know what to say to you. I've tried so many different ways to get you to see the talent within yourself, the talent that seems to be so obvious to everyone. Everyone except yourself. For three years now, I have been pushing you to do your best. Do you know why I've been doing that?"
Finn was taken aback. "Because you wanted to win Nationals? Because there was no way we could have done it if we all hadn't been doing our best?" Finn responded as though the answer was an obvious one.
Mr. Shue smiled, not his normal happy smile but a smaller more sympathetic one. "No, Finn that's not why. It was a nice incentive though, I'll give you that. I pushed you to do and be your best because I wanted you to be able to see what you could accomplish when you really tried. Finn, you have grown so much and dreamed so big that I just can't stand to see you throw it all away because you received one rejection." Mr. Shue finished, his eyes gleaming a little as he saw his words start to sink in.
"Mr. Shue...I don't know what to say." Finn said, and he didn't know what to say. All this time he had been so sure that he was doing the right thing. Sending Rachel off to New York to fulfill her dreams, letting his own take a back seat. He had been so sure that she was something special, but he had never given himself a chance.
"You always say that you're not enough to be a professional singer or do whatever it is that you love, but you are. You just have to believe in yourself more, Finn. Believe in yourself the way that all the people around you, who love you, believe in you too."
With that Finn stood up, really letting Mr. Shue's words affect him. "Thanks a lot, Mr. Shue, again. I think you knew exactly what it was that I needed to hear. If you don't mind, I think I need to get home and figure a few things out." He made his way to the door, stopping as he opened it to turn back to his old teacher. "Thank you for everything."
**The Next Day**
Finn was standing outside of the auditorium waiting for Kurt to arrive. That morning he had received a text from his step-brother asking him to meet him back at the auditorium so he could give him something. He had been waiting for five minutes for Kurt when he finally decided to appear.
"Kurt, what is so important that you had to tell me here instead of at home?" Finn asked, jumping to the point. He had been up late the night before and he was tired and cranky. Normally he wouldn't stay in this sort of mood for long, but now he didn't have Rachel around to bring him out of his rut.
"Well, I don't exactly have to tell you anything." Kurt said, giving Finn a small smile. He didn't say anything else, just motioned for Finn to follow him as he led the way inside. Finn followed him through the dark auditorium, finally stopping in the front row right in front of the stage. Kurt motioned for him to take a seat.
Finn sat down and was going to ask Kurt what was going on, but Kurt disappeared before Finn could get a single word out. Finn took a look around him, noticing that he was alone in the place. He couldn't figure out why Kurt would bring him here and then leave without an explanation. He was about to get up and go find his step-brother when suddenly a noise from the stage drew his attention forward.
Rachel stepped forward into the middle of the stage, feeling more nervous than she had in a very long time. She hadn't told anyone besides Kurt that she was back in Lima, and she had enlisted him to help her get Finn to the auditorium. She needed to talk to him and she felt more comfortable doing it in her own environment.
From where she was standing she could see Finn perfectly, but he couldn't see her. He didn't look like himself. She could already tell that he hadn't gotten much sleep the night before, but then again, neither had she.
She had come home that night on a redeye flight from New York. She had, of course, called her fathers to tell them her plans. They hadn't exactly been thrilled about her decision, but they knew that there was no stopping her now that she had her mind set on this. She wasn't sure if this last attempt to get Finn to listen to her would be a lost cause, she just knew that she had to try everything she could to get him to hear her out.
She noticed that Finn was about to get up and go after Kurt, which was her cue to make herself be known. She slowly stepped out of the shadows, causing Finn's head to shoot up his eyes searching in the darkness for the source of the noise. Suddenly a bright light shone all around her. Kurt must have made it to the spotlights on the upper levels, using his flair for the dramatic to her advantage.
Rachel knew that this was her now or never moment, so she swallowed her fears and doubts and began the speech that she had been working on since she had first decided to get on that plane.
"Finn, I know you seem to think that the best thing for us to do is to surrender to the universe and see where it takes us." Rachel started, her voice a little shaky. "But I think that's a load of bull. For as long as you have known me, when have I ever surrendered to anything? Especially if it involves me giving up something that I love?" She knew that she was blindsiding him, but she felt that she was entitled to that, after all he had done the same to her only 24 hours earlier.
"I know that you're probably not going to listen to me, but I need you to hear what I have to say. And if there's anything that I know, it's that you listen to me when I sing it to you. Now, I know this song isn't in my repertoire, but you know how I get when I need to find that perfect song to show how I feel." Rachel walked to the edge of the stage, just barely within the spotlight. She nodded her head and the music began to play.
Finn didn't recognize the song, but he didn't move as Rachel began to sing, her voice keeping him grounded.
"If I could
I would dare
Feed your dreams
And starve your fears
If I could
Light the world
We could sit
And watch it burn
We could fall asleep inside the glow
So tell me what I gotta do to win you over
You'll never have to wonder if you need another
You'll never have to wonder if I understand
And every time you reach for me, you'll find a hand out
Ohhh
If I could
Take you in
Feeling you deep
Beneath my skin
Then I could
Slip away
With you as a poison in my veins
I don't wanna fall asleep alone
And wake up knowing that I died without the one
So tell me what I gotta do to win you over
You'll never have to wonder if you need another
You'll never have to wonder if I understand
And every time you reach for me, you'll find a hand out
Ohhh…
So tell me what I gotta do to win you over
You'll never have to wonder if you need another
You'll never have to wonder if I understand
And every time you reach for me, you'll find a hand out
Ohhh…
If I could
I would dare
Feed your dreams
And starve your fears…"
Rachel finished the song, feeling emotionally spent. She couldn't remember a time when she had ever poured so much of herself into a song. She kept her eyes glued on Finn's as he stood up and made his way to the stage, pulling himself up with little to no effort. She watched as he stopped right in front of her, holding her breath in fear of what was to come next.
"Rachel…" Finn tried to find the words he wanted to say, but kept coming up short. All he knew at that moment was how much he loved the small woman who was standing in front of him. So, at a loss for words he reached out and pulled her towards him, his mouth crashing down on hers.
It took less than a second for Rachel to respond. She reached up and pulled Finn as close to her as she possibly could, pressing her body close to his. She didn't know what was going through his mind; all she knew was that if this was meant to be their last kiss that she was going to put everything she had into it.
Finn pulled away after a few minutes, holding Rachel's face in his hands and resting his forehead against hers. "I love you so much, Rach." He took a step back, letting go of her face and taking a hold of her hands instead. "I am so sorry for what I did yesterday. I thought I was doing what was best for you by letting you go. Unfortunately I think all I accomplished by my actions was making both of us completely miserable. I just need to be able to believe in myself, and that's what I've been struggling to do for such a long time now." Finn said, looking away from Rachel so that she wouldn't be able to see the self-loathing he was sure was shining through his eyes.
"Finn, why is it so hard for you to believe in yourself?" Rachel asked, unwinding her fingers from his and bringing his face towards hers. "You have no problem believing in me, but you can't see how amazing of a man that you are."
"Rachel, I don't know if I can be this amazing person that everyone seems to believe that I am." Finn said, once again trying to look away. This time Rachel didn't let him, she kept a firm grip on his face.
"Finn, why is it that everyone but you can see how amazing you are? When I first met you, I fell in love with you. I didn't know it, but I did. Then I heard you sing and the passion that you give when you perform is extraordinary. You have just as much talent as I do, you just have to believe in it. Once you believe in it, you are going to accomplish so many great things." Rachel was firm. Her face softened though as she continued. "I thought that we could accomplish them together, but if that's still not what you want, I'd understand."
Finn was shocked. He had no idea how much Rachel really believed in him. Now that he thought about it, he was talented and exceptional. Modesty had been his best quality throughout the years, but it had also been his biggest handicap. He had to see himself as everyone else saw him, and now with Rachel's help, he actually felt like he did. "Of course I want to accomplish them together." Finn said taking Rachel's face back in his hands. "I am so sorry that I ever made you doubt my love for you."
Rachel smiled and leaned up for a small kiss. Then she took another step back, preparing herself for the next order of business.
"Now, about you joining the army…" She said, her voice shaky with fear, fear that threatened to swallow her whole if she dwelled on the subject too long.
Finn flinched, realizing that Rachel still believed that he was joining the army and signing his life away. "Yeah, about that…I had to tell you something to get you on the train…" Finn wasn't sure exactly how to say that he hadn't been completely honest with her the day before.
Rachel took a small step back in surprise. She wasn't sure whether she should be thankful that Finn hadn't actually enlisted or be furious that he let her nearly go crazy worrying about the thought of him going to war. "You mean…you're not enlisting?" Her voice was small, barely over a whisper as she teetered on the edge of her emotions.
"No. I'm not enlisting." Finn said, watching as the emotions played across her face. First anger, then relief, followed by sadness. Finally they stopped and her face was nearly blank. "Say something Rachel…" But he was afraid of what she might say.
"So you only said it to get me to go?" Rachel asked, her voice cleared of all emotions, giving him nothing to go on. "Did you not care about how it would make me feel?"
"Of course I did. I was torn up inside." Finn said, moving closer to her. "I was actually going to go to New York tonight. I bought my ticket last night, I was going to find you and tell you everything."
"Really?" Rachel asked, a smile forming on her face once again. "What were you going to do about your whole 'surrendering' speech that you gave me yesterday?"
"Something you might not know about me, Rachel Berry, is that I don't do well with surrendering either." And with that Finn once again took Rachel into his arms and kissed her with all he had.