Multiple Pairings a Day Challenge: Sirius/Lily
A/N: I've actually been wanting to write something for Sirius/Lily, but I haven't gotten around to it until now. Enjoy!
James and Lily. They'd been the talk of the school when Lily had finally given into James's persistence and agreed to be his girlfriend at the end of sixth year. Things had gone great at first. The two seemed to do well together, and none of their friends ever saw them arguing or angry with each other.
That all changed one cold Monday morning in February of their seventh year. James came down to breakfast long after his friends, alone and frowning. Sirius, Remus, and Peter exchanged puzzled looks. Lily always came down to the Great Hall with him in the morning.
"Everything alright, Prongs?" Sirius asked cautiously.
"Never better, Padfoot." James didn't look at any of them as he replied, his tone full of bitterness. This seemed to be mostly directed at Sirius, who could only look on in wonder. James sat down without another word and proceeded to fill his plate. They all flinched when he violently stabbed two sausages and put them on his plate.
"Um...okay." Remus had been going to ask if James was telling the truth, but by the way James was ripping apart his toast and stuffing it in his mouth, Remus thought it best to drop the subject.
They ate in silence until Lily came to the table a few minutes later, her face flushed red and her eyes red from crying. James dropped his utensils and stormed away, leaving Lily blinking away tears in his wake.
"What is going on with him?" Sirius asked once James was out of earshot. "He barely said a word to any of us."
"I...he..." She swallowed. "He broke up with me."
Her words shocked them all. None of them were able to speak for several seconds as they looked up at her. "I...it's all my fault," she added. "I told him something he should've known from the start. I'm sorry, Sirius, but it may have damaged his friendship with you as well."
Sirius raised an eyebrow. "His friendship with me? What does that have to do with it?"
Lily shook her head, her face turning a darker shade of red. "Not now. Not here. Just...I'll talk to you later. Just you, Sirius." With that, she turned and walked away, leaving the three friends in a very confused state.
James avoided Sirius for the rest of the day. No matter what his friends did, they couldn't get him to say anything about why he'd broken up with the girl of his dreams. By the time their classes were over for the day, Sirius had had enough.
"I'm going to find her," Sirius told Remus. "I need to know what's going on."
Remus nodded. "Go on. We'll see what we can get out of James."
Sirius found Lily in the library, head resting in her arms on a table. "Are you alright?" he asked quietly.
Lily jumped, her head snapping up quickly to look at him. "Can we go somewhere else?" she asked, ignoring his question. When he agreed, she stood and led him out of the library and into an empty classroom not far away, locking the door behind them.
"The first thing you need to know is that I never meant for this to happen." Lily plunged right into it, not even allowing Sirius to ask her what was going on. She stood with her arms crossed in front of her. "When I agreed to go out with James last year, I did it in the hopes that he'd get bored with me quickly. I didn't think he actually loved me. I didn't think he was capable of that."
Sirius opened his mouth to speak, but Lily held up a hand to silence him. "I've never really cared for him, at least, not in the way he cares for me. Once I realized he was in this because he loved me, I decided to give him a chance. I didn't love him, but maybe I could learn to, in time." She started pacing between the rows of desks, nervously fidgeting with the buttons on her sweater.
"So, what you're telling me is," Sirius said, hoping to gain some clarity, "you don't love James?" Lily nodded. "So that's why he broke up with you?" This time she shook her head. "Then why?"
Lily stopped pacing and whirled to face him, taking a deep breath. "Because I'm in love with someone else. I told him as much this morning. We've been having problems for weeks. We've tried not to make any scenes, so we've just basically been putting on a show, like we're really happy still. But, we were arguing this morning and I told him who I was really in love with. I never meant to hurt him, I just...couldn't take it anymore. It didn't feel right to force myself to love someone and it wasn't fair to him, either."
Sirius's mouth went dry. She'd said earlier that morning that what she'd told James had probably damaged the friendship he shared with Sirius. There could only be one explanation. "Who...who are you...in love with, then?" He was sure he knew the answer, but he wasn't sure he wanted to hear it.
"It's you," she said, voice barely above a whisper. "It's always been you, Sirius."
Her words made Sirius's pulse quicken. Feelings he'd buried long ago threatened to resurface, but he fought against them. Sirius had been entranced by her almost from the beginning. Everything about her made him feel happier, lighter, freer. Despite the fact that she detested him and berated him for every single thing he did to get in trouble, Sirius could never escape the way she made him feel. However, when it had become clear to him that James had his sights set on her, Sirius suppressed those feelings. He'd never had friends before coming to Hogwarts; the children his parents made him spend time with were cold and distant, just as unfeeling as their pureblood parents. To admit that he too loved Lily would be to lose his first and best friend. He would rather spend his life being secretly miserable watching them together than without the boy who had become his brother.
Sirius shook his head. "Lily..." He didn't even know what to say to her. "Lily, I..." He stopped again, torn between telling her the truth or letting it go once more.
Lily's cheeks turned pink. "I know, it's silly," she said. "I've never exactly been nice to you, have I? I really didn't like you, not at first. I thought you were just immature and the kind of person who likes to cause others misery. I can't really say what changed my mind, because I'm not even sure what it was." She shrugged. "I feel like I'm not making much sense."
Sirius stepped close enough to touch her, lessening the distance she'd kept between them. "It's alright, Lily." He reached out and took one of her hands. "It's not silly. I never thought, for one moment, that you of all people would have feelings for me. I never thought anyone could love me." He laughed softly. "I never thought I could love anyone, but I do." His gaze, which hadn't quite met hers yet, drifted up. He smiled when his words registered with her, her bright green eyes widening.
"You mean...me?" She smiled when he nodded, and then laughed. "I can't believe it."
Sirius laughed too, his internal struggle at an end. He knew James wouldn't take this well, but he'd worry about that later. "Neither can I," he agreed, all thoughts of James pushed to the back of his mind as Lily pressed a gentle kiss to his lips.
It was another two days before James talked to Sirius again. Sirius knew James had seen how much closer he and Lily had become. They weren't exactly inseparable, but they did start spending more time together outside of classes and had taken to sitting together at the Gryffindor table in the Great Hall.
Sirius was sitting in the common room with Lily, watching her read, when he noticed James making his way towards them. He nudged Lily and tilted his head in James's direction. Lily quickly put her book down and stood to leave, but James, who had reached them by then, put a hand out to stop her. "No need to leave on my account," James said calmly. "What I have to say to Sirius doesn't need to be a secret." He sat down on the couch next to Sirius as if the last two days hadn't happened and they were still the best of friends. Lily took her seat once more, watching them anxiously. "The only thing that stopped me from confronting you when I found out you two were together was Remus," he began, staring ahead into the fire. "He talked me down, told me to get the whole story from you guys first before I started going off on you. And so, I spent the last two days just thinking about it." He turned to face Sirius. "So, do you love her?"
"Yes," Sirius answered without hesitation. "Yes, I do." Lily reached over and squeezed his hand.
James nodded. "Right. Good."
"You're...okay with this?" Sirius asked. This was certainly not what he had expected.
"I thought about what it would've been like if Lily had stayed with me, all the while really wanting to be with you. It could never have worked. Maybe for a while, but not forever." James sighed. "Maybe it's better this way. Yeah, it stings. A lot. But I care too much about Lily to make her miserable. I'd rather see her happy with my best friend that stuck in a relationship with me that she doesn't want." He stood again and faced Sirius. "Just be patient with me. This is going to take some getting used to, but I do hope things work out for you guys. I have no right to stand in your way." He held out his hand. "Friends?"
"Friends," Sirius agreed, shaking his hand. The woman he loved was by his side. His best friend was speaking to him again. Sirius smiled, feeling the happiest he had since Monday. Everything was back to normal.