N/A: Short story based around our favorite cheerleader and the badass zen burnout. I was inspired by a Britney Spears song titled "Out from under." Now trust me, it came as a shock to be inspired by Britney because I'm not really a fan, but this song gave me inspiration. Usually I'm JH friendly and I am extremely obsessed with them as a couple, but WARNING this one will not be JH happy, sorry guys!
Letting Go
Jackie's POV:
Change. What a funny concept that is. I change my shirt, change my shoes, change the soap I use, even change how I feel. Huh. Change my feelings. Sounds easy enough, but it isn't. Trust me when I tell you it is anything but easy to strip away feelings that you are so accustomed to.
Looking at my life I realize how much changes have occurred in my once perfect little world. The huge mansion I once called home has been replaced by a small two bedroom apartment. The clogs that once used to adorn my tiny feet are now flip flops. The man that used to be my knight in shining armor has transformed into a foreigner. Yet with all these changes, one thing remains the same, the one thing that should have changed...
The way I feel about him.
No, not Fez.
Steven.
I know I shouldn't be thinking about him since I'm with Fez now, but I can't help it. Everytime Fez touches me, kisses me, hell everytime we sleep together I can't help but think of Steven. Physically I'm with Fez, but emotionally I find myself in the small room in the basement.
Guilt. That's another concept, not so funny though. I feel it when Fez speaks to me, but I hear someone else. I feel guilty everytime I'm in the basement and start thinking about all the places Steven and I have had sex in. I especially feel guilty when Fez is sitting next to me and I think about it.
It's funny actually. Not in that HA-Ha kind of funny, but that ironic funny, that I would be in this situation. I finally found the perfect man for me, I mean I did the list Goddamn it and that's proof enough that I should be with Fez, but then why isn't that enough?
So here I am, in the basement with the gang, sitting next to Fez and looking towards an empty chair, Steven's chair, waiting for it to become occupied by the man who occupies my heart.
Poor Fez.