Note: I do not own any of the characters mentioned. TV Series 'Supernatural' does. This is the first fanfic I've ever written. Hope you like it :)
Dean was at the motel waiting for Sam so they would drive to Bobby's. Bobby and Jodie had invited their closest family friends over their house for the New Year's Eve. Rufus and Castiel were also invited.
Dean had decided to wear a tux for once, outside the hunting business. It had been really hard for him lately; Sam was all un-empathetic and so not himself without his soul, Castiel was in a war up in Heaven, Bobby was with Jodie and everyone else was gone.
He spent most of his nights drinking in bars or alone in the motel, since Sam didn't sleep and liked to go hunting during the night. Dean knew he was alone.. In days of heavy depression he called Bobby, but he wasn't always free to talk now.
'But today it's going to be great.' He thought to himself trying to believe it.
Castiel had appeared at the motel room all ripped apart and hurt that day and Dean gave him some clothes to change. The angel had been in a really bad fight up at Heaven. The physical pain he felt all over his body was a sign of his powers fading. He wasn't sure if they were fading because he was fighting his own kind or because he started rebelling.
He had been having these thoughts lately, when he was alone.. He had been starting to wonder what the correct thing is, starting to wonder where God is and why the angels were left alone. He was also alone, like Dean.
Dinning at Bobby's for the New Year's Eve was something he was really looking forward to. Spend some time with the humans he was responsible for; this was such an honor for him. Dean himself was one of the reasons he'd be going. He wanted to give Dean his everything after helping him so much. And in consideration of the awful condition Dean had been lately, he wanted to show the hunter how much he loved and cared about him.
"Do you need help with that?" Dean asked and went to take the tie from Castiel's hand. One thing Castiel was sure about was that he didn't have a clue about how to tie a tie.
"Yes, please, Dean." Dean moved closer, intruding Cas' "personal space", as Dean liked to call it, and placed the tie around Castiel's neck carefully.
"I told you before, you don't have to be that kind, Cas. You're more like a brother to me than a friend" and he continued on tying Cas' tie.
After such a direful day and after bringing all those memories up, all Castiel least expected to hear was this. He had considered himself as the Winchesters' guardian, not even a friend, and now Dean referred to him as a brother? Castiel knew how much Sam meant to Dean, he knew how he would do absolutely anything for him. How could he even be considered as a brother to him?
Dean raised his thumb up to Castiel's face, whipping a tear of his away. How could he be crying? How could he let his emotions slip away so easily? It seemed like Cas was becoming more human second by second. He looked up at Dean with deep blue, watery eyes. Dean's face looked worried and sad at the same time.
"Cas.. You know I'm here for whatever you want, whatever you need." And Dean's fingers came in touch with Castiel's face again, stroking away some more tears, now looking more worried.
If you could only take a peak in my brain, Dean. If only you could help me without wasting any time on me..
Castiel didn't know exactly what he wanted, he even doubted if what he had in mind was possible. He desperately needed Dean but at the same time he didn't want to waste a single second of Dean's precious life dealing with his angel problems. Asking him to help him find the weapons of Heaven was already much.
"Cas!" he heard Dean shout at him, shaking his shoulders.
"Dean.." his voice came out rough, almost a whisper, his throat was aching. Dean just couldn't bear looking at Castiel's soaked face and now red eyes, he couldn't bear watching one of his best friends shedding tears like that. Castiel, daring and in lust, pressed his lips against Dean's. There was no response from him.
What am I doing?
Castiel immediately went backwards.
What was I thinking coming so close with Dean Winchester?
Tears were hot in Castiel's eyes. Everything had fallen apart, everything was destroyed; even the friendship the angel wasn't aware of its existence until moments before. He had far passed the personal space.
But Dean with hands still on Castiel's shoulders brings him on his body and smashes his lips on the angel's. A soft moan escaped the angel's mouth into the hunter's. Castiel froze. His lips parted letting Dean's tongue inside. A slight shiver moved across his spine as the hunter moved his hand into his hair. Castiel found his hands moving up to the hunter's chest exploring his body. Dean then broke the kiss biting his lips and looked up; Castiel leaning on Dean's chest closing his eyes tightly.
He had come to the point where he had to question if he was dreaming.
Have I become that human? Have I rebelled that much?
He wished he wasn't dreaming, but at the same time he wished the exact opposite. He cared and loved Dean so much. But he couldn't have kissed him, he couldn't have broken their friendship, he couldn't have disobeyed his Father.
Dean brought a hand around Castiel's head and another around him, softly stroking his hair and tightly keeping him on his body. Dean's shirt couldn't get any wetter. Cas was crying again, or he was still crying.
"Dean, I need help. Dean, I-I need you." his voice trembling, trying to get the words out, burying on Dean's chest. Dean then leaned to Castiel and pressed his lips on the angel's head. The protection Castiel felt under the human's arms couldn't be measured. He just wanted to vanish into him, he wanted everything to be over.
Later that night, Bobby, Jodie and Rufus were waiting outside; worried in the cold night. The boys had arrived late. Nobody had celebrated the New Year though. Instead, they were mourning for a beloved friend, a beloved brother.
Dean wouldn't talk to anybody that night. He could just bring to his memory their last moments. He was falling apart; falling apart in his hands. Dean could tell he wasn't breathing. He shouted. He shouted as if the word had fallen apart around him. "Dean.." he called his name and his vessel collapsed lifeless in Dean's heavy arms.