I Surrender

There's so much life I've left to live
And this fire is burning still
When I watch you look at me
I think I could find the will
To stand for every dream
And forsake this solid ground
And give up this fear within
Of what would happen if they ever knew
I'm in love with you

Neil looked into his gold three way mirror, everything was perfect, his hair, teeth, skin, just everything, and nothing was out of place. Sure he was glad for that, why would he want to look like a ruffian, when he could always look gorgeous. He felt like he could stare at himself all day. He put the mirror away. He was the descendant of Narcissus, the god who fell so in love with himself he died. Neil didn't want that do happen to him; he didn't love himself that much, because he could still feel that one emotion that filled his heart every so often when he thought of it. Loneliness. He was lonely, yes he would admit that, but he just wouldn't admit that he needs someone other than himself. He knew he needs someone, he even wanted someone, but that is as far as he would allow himself. Everyone knew he was confident, if even a little to much that it made him conceited, but what everyone didn't know was that he was scared, much to scared to let anybody in. He was distracted, that it had shown on his face.

'Cause I'd surrender everything
To feel the chance to live again
I reach to you
I know you can feel it too
We'd make it through
A thousand dreams I still believe
I'd make you give them all to me
I'd hold you in my arms and never let go
I surrender

"Neil baby, that look doesn't suit you! Now smile for the camera" said the photographer, Neil was currently at a photo shoot. Neil placed on an award winning smile on, his emotions once again hidden. He moved to what the photographer wanted, it almost seemed mechanical, like he was starting to hate this job. And soon his muscles hurt, and he was tired, he took a sip of water from the bottle that sat cosily in his palm. He sighed; finally he could go home and rest.


I know I can't survive
Another night away from you
You're the reason I go on
And now I need to live the truth
Right now, there's no better time

The walk home was the same as allows, quiet except for the rumble of cars, and the small chatter everyone did around him, some glanced his way admiring his great looks, but he ignored it all, sometimes he couldn't help but be feed up with his looks. His friends back at the brownstone made fun of him sometimes, sure he laughed it off and acted the way others thought he acted, he knew they weren't meant to hurt, but deep inside it did. In those short minutes he curses himself for being the descendant of Narcissus. As he walked through the park his eyes took in all the happy people, the children laughing, mothers laughing at their antics, couples smiling googly eyes at each other. He hadn't felt happy or laughed like that in a long time, not since his mother died a long time ago. He missed his mother.


From this fear I will break free
And I'll live again with love
And no they can't take that away from me
And they will see...

He walked away from the park and soon it was nothing but a speck in the distance, he could see the brownstone just a little up ahead. When he came to it, he stood in front of it just looking at it; sometimes he wished that Hera and the other gods had the wrong man so he wouldn't have to fight Cronus, and other times he didn't, he was sometimes glad he was one of the descendants or else he wouldn't have the friends that were just inside the building. He never had friends before he met them. And if he never met them, he would have never met Herry, the descendant of Hercules. Neil liked Herry, a lot. Neil opened the door and stepped in.


I'd surrender everything
To feel the chance to live again
I reach to you
I know you can feel it too
We'd make it through
A thousand dreams I still believe
I'd make you give them all to me
I'd hold you in my arms and never let go
I surrender

Neil walked by the living area, everyone was in their laughing, having a good time without him, they probably haven't even noticed he was gone. He continued towards his room, not even announcing he was back, why? It would probably just annoy everyone, and then Archie would crack a joke or something.


Every night's getting longer
and this fire is getting stronger, baby
I'll swallow my pride and I'll be alive
Can't you hear my call
I surrender all

Herry noticed Neil was back, how could he not, he noticed everything he did. Herry liked Neil, possibly even loved him, he looked at the dejected look on Neil's face. Herry may not be the sharpest tool in the shed but with Neil he was as smart as any computer geek. He knew something was wrong especially when Neil didn't announce his presence. Everyone didn't even notice he was back, they just continued to laugh on and have fun. Herry got up determined to find out what was wrong with Neil. The laughing stopped as he reached the entrance of the living area.

"Hey Herry where you going?" asked Jay.

"Going to see what's wrong with Neil" he said, he looked at the others, he saw the look on Archie's face. He was going to make a wise remark about Neil.

"He probably broke a nail" he laughed and the others joined him, sometimes Herry wished Archie would just put a sock in it. His comments sometimes hurt, he knew, to Herry Neil were like an open book; he saw how Archie's comments hurt him. Herry shook his head a little in disappointment, Archie and the others wouldn't learn, well maybe Jay and Theresa, but not Atlanta and Archie, he wasn't to sure about Odie. The others never took Neil seriously, sometimes Neil came to them with major problems like with Echo and everyone didn't believe him, well Theresa did. And sometimes he came to them with minor problems like with his hair.


I'd surrender everything
To feel the chance to live again
I reach to you
I know you can feel it too
We'll make it through
A thousand dreams I still believe
I'll make you give them all to me
I'll hold you in my arms and never let go
I surrender

Neil opened his bedroom door and walked in, he sat on the side of his bed next to his night stand, his eyes traveled to the full length mirror on his wall, and he saw himself, his true self, the sad, lonely, scared child. His eyes shifted towards the picture beside his bed, he picked it up and held it gently. A sad smile crossed his face. It was off his mother, she was so beautiful. Her long silky golden tresses flowed gently down her back, and her blue eyes were bright like the sky. She was standing underneath the oak tree at his childhood home, in front of her a young boy stood just coming a little bit above her knees. He had to be no older then five in this picture.

"Hey Mom…" he said.

Herry was standing outside Neil's door getting ready to knock when he heard him speak inside.

"Hey mom…" there was a pause before he heard Neil speak again. "Sorry I couldn't go visit you today, I had a shoot today. I miss you a lot, I've been feeling down lately sigh Archie and Atlanta continue to crack jokes about me, I know its all in good fun but it still hurts, sometimes I wonder if they all even care that I'm here, sometimes I feel like just walking out of this place, away from every thing, the prophecy, the gods, Cronus, modeling…its just all so stressing." Herry listened, he was saddened by this, he thought they didn't care about him, and of course they did he was their friend, to Herry he mattered a lot. Herry knocked on the door and everything in the room was quiet then came a boisterous "Who is it?!"

Neil's eyes watered as he spoke to the picture, to his mother. He was startled when there was a knock on his door. He placed the picture quickly back on the table, and whipped his eyes, took a deep breath before he called out wondering who it was.

"Its Herry" said the gruff soft voice. Neil's eyes widened. He quickly got up and answered the door, and there was Herry standing there with a look of concern on his face.

"Are you all right?" Herry asked as he looked into Neil's puffy red eyes, he looked like he was crying or on the verge of crying. Neil looked away.

"I'm fine" he said staring over the spot of Herry's left shoulder.

"Neil, I'm not stupid, something is wrong, you look like your about to cry!" he said. Neil didn't want there to be anything wrong, but there was, and Neil certainly didn't want to break down in front of Herry, he didn't want to surrender to what he was feeling, Neil wanted to be strong but he wasn't, and he did break. His shoulders shook, and tears slid down his face, small sobs escaped his throat. Herry watched as Neil broke, he grabbed Neil around the waist when he saw the teen about to fall to the floor.


Right now
I give my life to live again
I'll break free, take me
my everything, I surrender all to you

Neil gripped Herry's arms and his head rested on his broad chest. Herry backed them into Neil's room, before someone came up and made it worse. Herry continued to hold him, all the while saying comforting words into Neil's ear.

"Shh…it's alright, everything will be ok…" Herry stroked Neil's hair, he could feel Neil relaxing against him. Herry looked down at Neil, he looked exhausted like he could sleep for a millennia. Herry lead Neil towards the bed and gently pushed him down. Neil looked up at him, his eyes so sad, so lonely. Herry hated the look. Herry did something he would probably regret later, but right now he didn't care. He climbed in beside Neil and tugged him closer, cradling him against his body, Neil yawned some tears still leaked from his eyes.

"Shh…sleep Neil, your stressed everything will be better." said Herry. He watched as Neil yawned, Neil nodded his head and buried it in the crook of Herry's neck. Herry wondered if Neil knew what he was doing, not that he cared, Herry liked it, but he wished he could do this again when Neil wasn't sad and so stressed out. Soon soft snores hit Herry's ears, he looked down at Neil he looked peaceful. Herry kissed the top of Neil's head, he sighed, he hoped when Neil woke up he wouldn't scream.

A/N: so what do you think, any good? I just had the erge to write something like this, please leave a review see yha.

Pampers Baby Dry