A/N - Rumpelstiltskin could probably win a prize for the most unsatisfying ending to a fairy tale. Whilst in more recent years I've been generally unsatisfied with the way most of the heroines end up marrying someone they hardly know, in this fairy tale, the heroine marries someone she hardly knows who was planning on killing her otherwise. Then because she had the good luck to discover the spinner's name, he falls through the floor and is never seen again. Perhaps they'd never thought of pulling up the floorboards. So… the beginning of this tale is essentially what should have happened at the end of that tale!

I also wrote Buttons goes to the Ball, Uninvited (both humorous :-) ) and The Cystal Set… so if you like this, and are severely bored, there's something for you to go read.

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Rumpelstiltskin's Apprentice

Part 1 – The Inn of the Seven Dwarfs

The ugly dwarf settled back for another cosy, quiet night reading Assorted Adventures of Idiotic Humans, his favourite humorous work, only for the dog to come bounding through the door.

"What is it, Hunter?" the dwarf asked in a bored voice. Hunter seemed very excited, and started bounding around, barking.

"Oh, her again. Will that king ever learn? Still, I like the necklace she gave me… Human jewellery is quite pretty after all. All right, I'll go." The dwarf put down his book, muttered a few words, and, without hesitation, leapt straight into the fire.

He found himself in a large room filled with bales of straw, a spinning wheel, and the girl again.

"You're back," she sighed, in relief.

"Yes, I'm back," the dwarf said gruffly. "What have you got to pay me this time?"

The girl held out her wrists, and felt her neck. "I have nothing more… but the king says he will execute me if I don't do it."

"Git," the dwarf muttered.

"If I do… He says he'll marry me."

"Well isn't that grand," the dwarf said dryly. "In any case, when it comes to payment, I'd rather like a human apprentice… What about your first child? I'd probably take better care of it than that git." He spoke in bartering tones, seemingly uncaring of the distraught maiden in front of him. As he started to spin, he watched her eyes become big with tears. He turned away, embarrassed.

"Now just you stop that…" he mumbled, as he pulled out the first pieces of gold thread. A thought suddenly struck him.

"Are you sure execution is really worse than marrying that son-of-a-yak?"

The thought had evidentally occurred to the girl too. She started to sob. "N-no, but what choice do I have?"

"He'll use you," the dwarf said, warming to his theme. "He only wants you because of the straw into gold thing."

She was really crying now. "I-I know… B-but I have no choice."

She'll be rich and that'll keep me well paid, the dwarf thought. He looked at her again, and then cursed himself for allowing himself to look at her again. He wanted to remain hard, but she was softening him. You stupid idiot… He actually felt sorry for this girl. And looking at her reinforced the thought that he should help her, and by help that meant more than spinning straw into gold.

She's not your problem, he told himself sternly. She can marry that son-of-a-yak and keep me well stocked in pretty human jewellery. Why should I care if… But he did care. Stupid! He didn't want to… But he did.

"Listen," he said, his back kept to her. "Like I say, I find you human folk a bit weird and I'd like a human apprentice. I mean, you're awful with magic but good with your hands and I daresay you know some good tales…" He glanced around. Through her tears, the maiden was nodding sorrowfully. "And I'm not going to turn into anything nicer if you kiss me, but I wondered, if being a queen don't suit you, would you like to come back to my castle?"

The girl stared at him bewildered. "Sorry," he said. "Stupid suggestion…"

At last she spoke, in a quivering voice. "Why would you want me?"

He coughed. "Well, to be honest…" He'd never admitted this to anyone. "It gets a bit… lonely… after those long nights… Only so many times you can read Assorted Adventures of Idiotic Humans, and my dog likes company far too much – frankly he gets a bit irritating after a while when you've no one else to talk to… What do you say?"

"W-What's your name?"

"Rumpelstiltskin, and don't laugh."

"I wasn't going to."

"It's a grand name, my mother gave it to me… right then." He coughed again, and blushed. "Is that a yes?"

"Yes, please, Rumpelstiltskin."

"What's your name then?"

"Arianna."

"Right. We'd better leave this dump right away, although first I'm taking my gold thread, because there's no way I'm letting that git have it if it's not for your safety…" He blushed a deeper red, having been caught showing concern. "I'd usually just take the quick way home, but it's a bit difficult for two of us, so I'm afraid we'll have to go across land." Rumpelstiltskin knocked the wall with his staff. "Give me a door."

A door immediately appeared in the wall. The dwarf opened it and allowed Arianna out first. Soon they were both outside, in the palace grounds. It was dark, and the air was crisply cold, the sky sparkling with stars like jewels.

Rumpelstiltskin knocked his staff against the ground, and whistled. "Come Hunter," he called. "And bring Arrow and my boots with you."

Within a matter of minutes, a small, black, silky-looking dog and a docile but eager looking donkey came running into view, the dog carrying a pair of boots. "They know the quick way too," he explained, mysteriously. "Although it's different for animals. You can ride Arrow until you get accustomed to our ways and our travel. The dog is Hunter, he's a soppy soul deep down. Animals, this is Arianna. She's a human and she'll be living with us from now on."

Arrow did not have a saddle, but he bent his knees, and Rumpelstiltskin lifted Arianna on. "He's a nice one, is Arrow," he explained. "You look fair exhausted. We can soon leave, I'll just put me boots on."

Patting the dog and the donkey, Rumpelstiltskin started to run, and the animals started to follow. Arianna squealed out loud – out of shock, not of fear. She had never gone so fast in her life, never seen the nighttime silhouettes fly past her so quickly. She clung onto Arrow as he galloped this inhuman speed, and watched the dwarf stride next to them easily in his magnificent boots.

Soon they were out of the city, and gradually slowed outside a small public house. Rumpelstilskin took his boots off and didn't even seem out of breath. He beckoned to Arianna to get off the donkey, and scolded Hunter when he leaped up at the girl in his excitement. "Down, you stupid dog… Here's the inn. When we don't take the quick way, this is where we stay for the night. My castle is down yonder" – he pointed – "You're out of the civilised human world now. This is the Inn of the Seven Dwarfs."

He knocked open the door, and Arianna's eyes widened at the people within. There were humans, but they were all clad in strange, adventurer's clothing, their eyes bright and full of a vitality she had never seen. Amongst them, hags and elves and even giants conversed freely. The serving men all seemed to be dwarfs – were there seven of them? Several were mingling with the patrons, one was cleaning glasses, and another sitting easily behind the bar in friendly conversation with a centaur. Rumpelstitskin turned to his animals. "You know where to go," he said, and they both left. Then he beckoned Arianna to follow him to the bar.

"Darenson!" he greeted the dwarf behind the bar, as the centaur moved away.

"Well if it isn't Rumpelstiltskin," the dwarf said. "I wondered when I'd see you again. Who's the fair wench?"

"This is Arianna." Rumpelstiltskin pointed vaguely north. "That old king was either going to execute her or marry her, and with an alternative like that even I'm desirable. Two of your finest, please."

Darenson smiled kindly to Arianna, and then turned back to his friend. "I see you're not so skinflint with a lady alongside you. Edmonton picked up a fair wench himself yesterday, perhaps they'd like to be friends." Darenson poured some wine into two glasses. "There you are, it'll be a silver angel."

"Bloody highwayman," Rumpelstiltskin muttered as he handed the barman a silver coin, and Darenson responded by simply laughing.

"Are ye in need of rooms?"

"If you're charging those prices I think we'd be better off in the stable. Yes, I'd like a room, with two beds. Don't expect to find me in the morning."

"Ah, a fellow needs to make a living. Well I'll send Evandor to prepare it for you." He patted Arianna as she politely sipped her wine, and grinned at the scowl he was getting from his friend. The dwarf jumped down from his stool, and approached one of the others, who appeared to be flirting with a tall and incredibly pretty elf, who seemed quite amused at his efforts. "Come on Edmonton, you old philanderer. Where's that pretty wench you found yesterday?"

The elf raised her eyebrows, but Edmonton became serious. "I put her to bed… She seemed exhausted, I hope she's all right."

"Rumpelstiltskin's got a wench with him too… I didn't get the story. Maybe they'd like to be friends."

"If she lives through the night," the other dwarf said, softly and sorrowfully.

"We'll see, brother," Darenson replied, patting him on the arm. "Where's that wastrel Evandor? I want a room prepared!"

"Out back, Darenson, probably playing with the horses. You know what he's like."

"I'll go get him…"

Edmonton watched his brother go, and turned back to the elf., attempting to restore his former good-humour. "Anyway, the dragon said to me, 'Dressed like that, I'd think you'd come to polish my scales…' " The coquettish elf laughed uproariously, and clapped her hands. "Loren will kill you, Edmonton," she laughed in a tinkly musical voice. "He won my heart but he hasn't made me laugh like that in years. You're a gem, I hope this fair wench deserves you."

"Oh, it's not like that…" Edmonton blushed. The elf graciously kissed his cheek, rose up to her full height, whch was about three times his own, and tossed him some silver coins. "Fare you well, my friend." She strode towards the door, amidst whistles and suggestions that she shook off easily with one dazzling smile.

Darenson returned, with an iron key. "Your room, my friends," he said to Rumpelstiltskin and Arianna. Still overwhelmed with all the new things she had just witnessed, Arianna walked upstairs with the dwarf. In the room, she hung up her cloak, and Rumpelstiltskin remarked, "It's a mixed place, this."

"It's amazing."

"Oh aye, that it is," the dwarf said, amused. "Darenson and his brothers run a good inn, even though they're scoundrels with the prices. Take whichever bed you like, and have some water from the jug."

Arianna sat down on one bed, and poured herself a drink of water. "Thank you for taking me out of there."

"Oh – er, it's nothing. Just wait until we get back, you'll probably think again when Hunter tries to share the bed with you."

Arianna smiled, and laid down. Within seconds, she was sound asleep.

"Well, what do you know?" Rumpelstiltskin remarked softly to himself. He walked over to the sleeping maiden and put her blanket over her properly. In spite of himself, he kissed her forehead gently. "Sleep well, Arianna."

End of Part 1

No prizes for guessing the identity of the fair wench Edmonton picked up the day before. I love the term 'fair wench' - perhaps you noticed :-)

For some reason, I imagine Rumpelstiltskin to have a Yorkshire accent.