AN: Threeshot. Works with several other things we have written. Enjoy

Disclaimer: No.

Before I get to the meat of the story, allow me to explain the situation. I am Mary Macdonald. I believe we have met before. We may not have, but I think we have. I am a muggleborn witch, who was in the same year and house at Hogwarts as Lily Evans.

I am currently sitting in the kitchen of Remus Lupin and James Potter's flat. I am with Remus Lupin and we are discussing unfounded social stigmas. It is a fascinating conversation.

James Potter is currently in the living room with his girlfriend, Lily Evans, with whom he is presumably necking. I say that because they are being rather quiet, except for every now and then I hear some indistinct sound through the closed kitchen door.

I wonder briefly how Remus can live with that. I suppose it would be worse if Sirius were shared his flat instead of James, and then I thank all the gods in any pantheon that James and Sirius did not choose to share an apartment for the simple reason that they feared not being able to have sex the way they wanted when they wanted. That, and Remus needed someone to share his rent.

I am about to say something interesting to Remus about people with walleye when we hear James' voice coming very loudly from the next room. He says, "Well that's just not bloody fair."

"Oh dear," breathes Remus. "What is it this time?"

We stand and crack the door, because we want more information than we have, and we can't be sure whether or not we would be a welcome intrusion.

"Are you refusing me?" asks Lily.

"Not precisely. I'm just saying it's not bloody fair!"

"How is it not bloody fair, James."

"Because you do all the stuff."

"Care to elaborate?"

"You know what I mean."

"Not really."

"Yes, you do."

"Yes, I do. But I want Remus and Mary, who are undoubtedly eavesdropping, to understand as clearly as you and I do."

I glance over at Remus. He makes no movement. Perhaps he hopes that Lily is just guessing, making blind and unfounded accusations.

"Well, I'm not entirely sure I want Remus and Mary to know," grumbles James.

"Why not? They are our friends."

"Well they already know about both of the things," mumbles James.

"You are grumbling and mumbling. I would think you would be over the moon about me asking you to marry me."

I cannot contain a gasp.

"See?" says Lily. "They were listening. You two might as well come out."

Remus glares at me and we file into the living room. James glances our way. An internal battle seems to be raging in his head, as though he cannot decide whether to clam up or whether to expound. He chooses the latter.

"I am quite pleased with the idea of marrying you and having several mini-us-es running around a nice little house in the countryside, but it's the principle of the thing. The male of the couple, meaning me, is supposed to ask the female, meaning you, to marry him. That's how it is done. That is how it has always been done, and, sweet Merlin, that is how it should always be done."

"Isn't the male of the couple also supposed to ask the female out?"

"Yes, and I did, but you refused me."

"Isn't the male of the couple supposed to be the one who is trying to get the female to give in to having sex with him?"

James glances at Remus, who had an eyebrow silently raised at this new little factoid, and says, "I was getting there."

"I know you were darling, but I was horny. And right now, I don't feel like waiting around for you to get up the gumption to ask me to marry you when you know I will say yes. So, if you would be so good as to accept my proposal of marriage, I would be much obliged."

"I accept, begrudgingly," says James, leaning in and kissing her.

"Congratulations, you two," beams Remus.

"Yeah, yeah," grumble-mumbles James.

"Do you have any idea when?" I ask, getting up and hugging them both.

"No. I hadn't gotten there yet," grins Lily. She sticks her tongue out at James who rolls his eyes.

"How about October," says James.

"Why October?" asks Remus.

"I just fancy getting married in October. Can't a man fancy getting married in October?"

"A man can most certainly fancy getting married in October. If he is, in fact, a woman," says Sirius, who has just banged open the door.

"I am not a woman, Sirius," snaps James.

"Well, you certainly don't wear the trousers in your relationship. She got you two to have sex? Honestly, James."

"You were listening?" James looks scandalized.

"Of course I was listening! And I must say, well done, Remus and Mary, getting caught. You two should become professionals."

"Oh, shut up, Sirius," says Remus.

"I am not a woman," repeats James, stubbornly. "See, look what you did, Lily. Make it go away."

Lily is laughing happily. She leans over and kissed James and said, "There, there, angel, I'm sure the big bad Sirius will go away soon."

"Well, can we get married in October?"

"Yes, we can, darling."

"At that little place we were looking at in Godric's Hollow?"

"Hang on," says Remus, sharply, "Were you intending to tell me you were moving out?"

"I've convinced the landlady to sell to you for a most reasonable price. So you won't need to worry about rent anymore."

"Ah. And were you going to tell me this?"

"I was, yes. But as you can see, I am in the midst of planning my wedding, and so I had to reprioritize."

Remus rolls his eyes.

"You are planning your wedding? God, Prongs, you really are a woman," says Sirius. He goes into the kitchen and returns with a bottle of firewhisky. He conjures glasses for us all and pours out the stuff.

"If we actually close on that little place Godric's Hollow, then we can most certainly be married there," says Lily.

"Can I wear navy blue. I've always thought I look quite dashing in navy."

"Need I even say it?" says Sirius, passing out the drinks.

"No, you needn't," says Remus, his eyes twinkling.

"James, do you want to just plan this damn wedding?" demands Lily.

"Can I? I've always wanted to, ever since I was a little girl!" says Sirius, imitating James. We all burst out laughing.

James flips him off and turns to Lily, "If you don't want to…I suppose…I wouldn't mind…" he tries to sound off-hand but can't quite manage.

"All right then. I suppose I did steal all the manly-man parts of our relationship, so you might as well do the womanly things. Would you mind bearing my children?"

James laughs and kisses her, saying, "Not a chance in hell."

Sirius raises his shot-glass. "To Lily and Prongs. May you always have inversed sexual roles so that you never trample on one-another's toes!"

"And to your upcoming nuptials," adds Remus.

We all raise our glasses and clink.

"In the eyes. Look in the eyes!" insists Sirius as he taps his glass against ours.

"What?" said Lily.

"You look whoever you are clinking with in the eyes or it's seven years of bad sex, and I don't think that's the way to start off your marriage."

"Oh, shut up, Sirius."