Disclaimer: The characters belong to the Great and Almighty Terry Pratchett (except for Father Akria).
Chapter 1: Verbum Veritastic
"Ridcully, what in the name of Disc are you doing?!?" the Dean shouted as the Archchancellor lifted his bed up on it's side, thus effectively knocking the Dean's head on the floor and causing him mild concussion.
"Get up, you fool, Rincewand-"
"Rincewind, Archchancellor, you remember, not Rincewand."
"I bloody well don't care, excuse my Klatchian, whether his name's Rincewind or… or… or Uooga Booga as long you get out of bed right NOW!!! He's stolen the Verbum Veritastic!"
"The what Archchancellor?"
"The bloody Word of Truth, you idiot!"
THAT made the Dean sit right up.
"AAARRGHHHH!"
"Yes it's that bad."
"No, Archchancellor, I just sat on my comb!!!"
Ridcully gave up at this, whacked the Dean across his head with his oaken staff and marched out of the room.
Pausing only to consider why the boss always has a difficult life.
"Hahahahahaha…"
"Rincewind, how splendid to see you again!" shouted Twoflower, the most naïve tourist on the Disc (in fact the only tourist on the Disc) as he saw his old friend and guide, Rincewind.
"What? Oh yeah, COWER AND GROVEL MERE MORTAL, FOR YOU ARE IN THE PRESENCE OF A GOD IN HUMAN FORM!"
"Really? You mean like Lady Lu-"
"Don't say it!" Rincewind shouted out of force of habit. (It should be noted that the once hopelessly inept wizard was now 6 foot tall, weighed 180 pounds, and above all, was practically all-powerful. So much for progress. Cavemen were like that and they lived maybe 10,000 years ago.)
'Maybe I just wasn't cut out to be a Dark Lord' he thought grimly. 'I mean, I don't have the location or the sheer mind-dulling evil like Evil Harry Dread. I'm a failure. But at least I'm a failure that can blast that blasted Twoflower into oblivion.'
So he did.
As Rincewind left, laughing at the grim remains of Twoflower's body.
"Why did he do that? I mean, I was going to pay him that… 476 day overtime. And I was just going to offer him some tea."
I FIND IT'S BEST NOT TO WORRY ABOUT THAT. BY THE WAY, WAR IS STILL WAITING FOR YOU TO DECIDE WHETHER YOU'RE GOING TO FOLD OR NOT ON CRIPPLE MR ONION.
"Oh, tell him that I will fold. No, I mean, I'll tell him myself. Or maybe I won't fold. Or…
Death grinned. He was going to enjoy these fanfics.
Chapter 1: Verbum Veritastic
"Ridcully, what in the name of Disc are you doing?!?" the Dean shouted as the Archchancellor lifted his bed up on it's side, thus effectively knocking the Dean's head on the floor and causing him mild concussion.
"Get up, you fool, Rincewand-"
"Rincewind, Archchancellor, you remember, not Rincewand."
"I bloody well don't care, excuse my Klatchian, whether his name's Rincewind or… or… or Uooga Booga as long you get out of bed right NOW!!! He's stolen the Verbum Veritastic!"
"The what Archchancellor?"
"The bloody Word of Truth, you idiot!"
THAT made the Dean sit right up.
"AAARRGHHHH!"
"Yes it's that bad."
"No, Archchancellor, I just sat on my comb!!!"
Ridcully gave up at this, whacked the Dean across his head with his oaken staff and marched out of the room.
Pausing only to consider why the boss always has a difficult life.
"Hahahahahaha…"
"Rincewind, how splendid to see you again!" shouted Twoflower, the most naïve tourist on the Disc (in fact the only tourist on the Disc) as he saw his old friend and guide, Rincewind.
"What? Oh yeah, COWER AND GROVEL MERE MORTAL, FOR YOU ARE IN THE PRESENCE OF A GOD IN HUMAN FORM!"
"Really? You mean like Lady Lu-"
"Don't say it!" Rincewind shouted out of force of habit. (It should be noted that the once hopelessly inept wizard was now 6 foot tall, weighed 180 pounds, and above all, was practically all-powerful. So much for progress. Cavemen were like that and they lived maybe 10,000 years ago.)
'Maybe I just wasn't cut out to be a Dark Lord' he thought grimly. 'I mean, I don't have the location or the sheer mind-dulling evil like Evil Harry Dread. I'm a failure. But at least I'm a failure that can blast that blasted Twoflower into oblivion.'
So he did.
As Rincewind left, laughing at the grim remains of Twoflower's body.
"Why did he do that? I mean, I was going to pay him that… 476 day overtime. And I was just going to offer him some tea."
I FIND IT'S BEST NOT TO WORRY ABOUT THAT. BY THE WAY, WAR IS STILL WAITING FOR YOU TO DECIDE WHETHER YOU'RE GOING TO FOLD OR NOT ON CRIPPLE MR ONION.
"Oh, tell him that I will fold. No, I mean, I'll tell him myself. Or maybe I won't fold. Or…
Death grinned. He was going to enjoy these fanfics.