Disclaimer: I own nothing =)
A/N: Right, so tonight me and my best friend were having a little fun shooting chat up lines at one another so I blame him for really inspiring me to do... It's just a little fun one-shot...Of course there are a load of amazing ones, but these are just a few... Enjoy!
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"I must be lost," Penelope said as she watched Derek from the across the table top. "I thought paradise was further south." She spoke slowly and pointed down.
"Paradise is in your eyes," Derek responded and Penelope burst into a full on laugh. "What?" He asked her confused and played a little hurt.
"Oh God, that was pure cheese, D." She said as she tried her hardest to stop laughing. "I didn't think you'd come out with that quite so soon into the game."
"If you think that's cheese, there's a lot more where they came from," He told her back and took a sip from his beer.
Sitting up, Penelope looked ready, "C'mon then, Stud. Hit me with them."
"Strike a deal, Goddess," He replied and leant in, "My chat up line, for one of yours."
Licking her lips eagerly, Penelope nodded, "Prepare to lose. I am the queen of chat up lines."
Derek chuckled a little, "We'll see about that." He told her cockily and cleared his throat. "Did the sun just come out or did you just smile at me?" He told her and smirked arrogantly. "Whatcha got, Baby?"
"Do you have a map?" She started and gave him a helpless look, "Because I just got lost in your eyes." She said and using her index finger she circled the rim of her glass.
"Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?" Derek asked her casually straight away and his mind kept running laps over new lines.
"I guess you can kiss Heaven goodbye. Because it has got to be a sin to look that good," Penelope replied bouncing off of his chat up line.
"If I had one chance to rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together," He used one of the oldest chat up lines he knew and watched her laugh at it and he smiled as he watched here.
"Hmm," she pondered for a second, tapping a glossy bright pink nail to her cheer in thought. Dropping her hand, and her gaze she looked at him, "I hope you know CPR? Because you take my breath away."
Derek laughed, damnit!, he thought. That was his next one. Now he had to think up a new one and fast. The more he thought about the lines, the more Derek realised that his mind was actually running laps over how beautiful Penelope looked this afternoon. How to him she always looked amazing and stole his breath away. Ironically, he picked his next chat up line wisely.
"Do your legs ache because you've been running laps in my mind my mind all day," He said smoothly.
Penelope felt her body tense a little at that; it was like he had just read her mind. She was always thinking about Derek and that chat up line seemed to be so fitting for her. Covering with a smile, she thought for a second more, "I'd love to see you when I'm naked," she said in a silky tone, her eyes slanting to portray the sexuality she wanted to give off.
"You look like my first wife," Derek started teasingly responding to that line.
Penelope raised her eyebrow at him, "Oh yeah..." she trailed off. "How many times have you been married then, Hot Stuff? You going to start yourself a Rossi trend?" She asked him jokingly.
Laughing his shook his head, "Oh, no Baby Girl, I'm still a bachelor," He told her smugly.
She took a sip of her martini and rose both her eyebrows over her glass and nodded, "You're not wrong there." She chided knowingly and then looked up thoughtfully. "Do you know what will look fantastic on you?" She asked and watched his shake his head, "Me." She said simply and winked.
"Too right," He told her almost self-righteously and leant in, "Is it hot in here or is just you?"
Penelope leaned in too, "I've lost that loving feeling. Can you help me find it?" She asked him back and waited for his next one liner.
"I'd walk a million miles for one of your smiles, and even farther for that thing you do with your tongue," Derek said and leant back smugly in his chair and watched her as she swirled her drink with straw sitting in it.
Penelope sat back and then looked up from her drink and picked the cherry up between two fingers and popped it in her mouth with the stem sticking out. Sexily she somehow managed to eat the cherry, suck in the stem and within a few jaw movements and tongue waggles in her mouth she stuck her tongue out with the stem now tied in a knot.
She winked as she placed it down and offered him one of her best smiles.
"Nicely played, nicely played," Derek praised her as he looked down at the cherry steam now sitting in front of them.
"I like to try my best from time to time," She told him confidently. "I have a party trick or two. Want me to show you sometime?" She winked at him again to ply on the emphasis.
Derek laughed, "If you honestly tell me that was a unique Penelope chat up line because I haven't heard that before."
"I'm unique me, you should see me in the bed," she replied.
"You're on a roll her, Baby." Derek complimented her.
"In answer to your question is yes that was full on Penelope chat up line," she told him truthfully and smiled lightly at him and then exhaled and relaxed back down again. She remembered how she never did anything like this with Kevin. Never had a moment to just sit and have pure banter. There was always some form of structure or intelligence whereas with Derek it wasn't like that. Their conversations were never the same and they certainly dove into the same topic too often.
"Are we all chat lined out?" Derek asked her, "Because I think I'm more than ready for round two."
"Well..." Penelope pondered for a moment or two. "Were you arrested earlier? It's gotta be illegal to look that good?" She started round two off, but Derek's try was interrupted as their waiter came over..
They stopped for a moment as their dinner was brought over and they started to eat quietly. The amusement of their little game still cloaking them both. Penelope still smiling, Derek still looked highly entertained.
"Got any raisins?" Derek asked her casually as he picked at the bare remains of his dinner.
Penelope rose her eyebrow and looked at him with a sarcastic glace as she stilled her fork. She tilted her head and then shook it to answer him. She knew he knew full well that she had no raisins.
"How about I give you a date then?" He asked and Penelope giggled at that. He watched the smile illuminate her face and just leant in.
"That was good," She told him impressed as she tried to think of a comeback to match it.
"That was my last chat up line," He told her truthfully and gained her attention wholly. "How about I take you on a date? A proper one," He watched her look at him quietly again. "I don't mean one of our normal non-dates like this. I mean the type of date that a man takes the woman that runs around in his head all day on, and the type that a man takes a woman that smiles at him like heaven made it happen on." He watched her blush at him and smile coyly. "I'm more than just a pretty face, Baby Girl. Gimme one try."
Penelope thought for a moment, "Okay," she relented. "But only because I know full well you're more than a pretty face and because this girl happens to know you're one of the best things to ever walk into her life."
Smiling brightly, Derek couldn't believe his luck. He had tried everything to get her heart that he hadn't known that simply asking her was the easiest route. He always thought that Penelope wasn't that easy, but he now knew that after falling in love with her that the easier way was always the best.
"Grab your coat, Handsome," Penelope said seductively. "You've pulled."
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