My first DA fic. Concrit welcome!
This takes place post 'Hello, Goodbye'.
Surprisingly Ben is the catalyst.
Before she had told Alec about that day in the woods, Max had been more than content to believe the worst out of her assigned breeding partner. With his penchant for running schemes, his greed and his cocky demeanour, Alec represented everything that Max told herself she despised. So when the transgenic had insinuated himself into her life in Seattle after the fire, Max had accepted him reluctantly. In fact, looking back on her behaviour, she was more than willing to admit that her treatment of him had bordered on harsh.
It was when he'd looked at her, hazel eyes hard but resigned, when she'd accused him of being capable of cold-blooded murder that had been the moment Max decided. It was as if he wasn't even surprised of her opinion of him.
'I'm sorry I inflicted you on this world.'
A day later and her own words still made her wince. God, she was such a bitch. Especially considering what had happened after she'd heard him mention the teeth.
'As much as I love taking time out to appreciate Mother Nature,' Alec's voice made Max shake her head, her fingers sliding against an overhanging fern. 'I'd like to know why I'm hauling my ass though the rainforest.'
'Would you quit yapping for a minute?' Max couldn't help the exasperation colouring her tone. Sure she had made a promise to treat the guy better, but his constant need to sound out his thoughts was grating on her nerves.
'Yeah, yeah. You'll kick my ass, you'll beat down my ass. You'll maim, quarter or mutilate my ass…' Alec replied from behind her and it made Max pause, her feet moving again when she felt Alec brush against her back. He made no mention of her hesitation as he continued speaking. 'Jeez Max, if I didn't know you so well I'd say you were objectifying me.'
'We're almost there alright?' She ground her molars, attempting to be civil. Alec doesn't reply and the next few minutes are mostly silent, the sound of feet against damp undergrowth the only thing filtering through her ears, until they both reach a small clearing. A patch of grass ringed with trees is really all there is and Alec shifted next to her, scratching his temple.
'So…this is nice,' he remarked and Max shrugged off the backpack on her shoulders, unzipping the front porch. She plucks out the small butterfly she had made Joshua sketch out for her. It's fragile and delicate but clumsy, much like the shadow ones Ben used to make when they were younger. Max doesn't miss the way Alec's eyes widen when he notices what she has grasped in her hand.
'Maxie?'
She closed her eyes, remembering a time when Ben had called her that too. Alec though has managed to make the nickname all his own. He's used it angry, sad and Max is more than sure disappointed.
'This is where Ben…' She trailed off, swallowing past the lump in her throat. Alec doesn't seem surprised by her words and Max deduced that he already made the connection the moment he saw the paper butterfly. She doesn't risk glancing his way, knowing that this was going to be difficult no matter the method. Max bent her knees, carefully placing the makeshift tombstone on the exact spot where Ben's vertebrae had snapped beneath her fingers.
'I've been a bitch to you Alec,' her words seem to echo around the forest. Alec's boots appear in her line of vision and Max focused on the worn edges around the tow, wondering how he'd managed to get them so worn.
'C'mon Max,' he cajoled and Max wanted to tell him that this wasn't the time to try and placate her. 'I get that I'm not exactly your favourite person okay? I remind you of things you'd rather forget.'
She isn't sure whether he's referring to Manticore or Ben.
'That still doesn't make it right,' Max shook her head, hair sliding off her shoulders to curtain her face. 'Like OC says, I gotta come correct.'
'Maxie-'
'Shut up Alec,' she spat out and immediately regrets it when he complies with her request. 'Look, god, you know I suck at this stuff okay? So just…I didn't mean what I said last night, back at the police station.'
'You wouldn't have said it if you didn't mean it.' Max rolled her eyes and shifted back onto the balls of her feet, not surprised that Alec had interrupted her. But there is no mistaking the hurt in his voice and it made her clench her fingers tighter together knowing that she was the one who put it there most of the time.
'Ben said that there was nothing wrong with him,' she started tentatively, fumbling for the best way to articulate her words. 'That he was just a soldier doing what he was taught and made to do. So when I said you could kill someone I knew you could, because Manticore made sure we kick ass at what we do.'
She relented and passes a glimpse over Alec's face, not knowing how to take the cynical half-smile tugging at his full lips.
'But then I realized what a complete hypocrite I was, treating you like crap when I could find it within myself to forgive someone who pulled out teeth as momentos,' her tone is flippant but Max felt her heart tighten inside her chest.
'He was your brother,' Alec replied and this time Max does meet his gaze. His hazel eyes are dormant, the twinkle that usually appeared whenever he spoke noticeably absent. They had been the same way when he'd apologized to her, pressed a kiss into her hair with his warm hand around her shoulder. It had brought her comfort when she needed it most and Max realized that she didn't have a lot of people she could rely on for that. OC, Joshua, maybe Sketchy if she was desperate.
She forced the thought of Logan to the side, tried not to think that if she'd told him what she had told Alex he would have looked at her differently.
'You're family too,' she retorted and the grimace that pulls at Alec's face is almost comical. 'What?'
'No offence Maxie, but I'd really rather not think of you as my sister.'
His comment stings but Max lifts her shoulders, facing away from him. 'Whatever. Fact is we're both in the same screwed up situation.'
'We can be comrades. Brothers in arms,' Alec offered.
'I'm trying to say I'm sorry you idiot!' She hissed through her teeth and Alec blinks languidly in response, once and then twice.
'That doesn't sound very sincere.'
'Trust me, it's all in the eyes,' she smirked.
'Ah. So you were listening to me,' Alec crowed like he'd achieved some kind of personal victory.
'Hard not to when I have you in my ear all the damn time,' Max commented wryly.
There is a pause, a moment where Max looked at the paper butterfly curling up around the edges against the wet grass and Alec studied the soft curve of her neck and the sloping line of her jaw.
'Thank you.' Max flashed him a look of shock and a soft smile plays at the edge of her lips. 'You know what would make me appreciate this moment even more? If you'd kiss this scratch I got on my cheek right there.' He tapped his fingers against the skin as Max frowned.
'Why'd you have to say that huh? We were having a moment jackass.'
Alec laughed, a genuine one that didn't come out a lot, and slung his arm over her shoulder. His leather jacket pulled pleasantly against the skin left bare by her tank top.
'Someone's gotta put up with my bullshit,' he told her and Max slants her head to the side, regarding the stubble decorating his jaw. Something inside her compels her to do what she does next as she pressed her lips to the faint, barely visible line of broken skin he'd point to before. She already has her head turned to the side, fighting the blood that desperately wants to rush into her cheeks.
'No other deep thoughts you want to share? No profound realizations about life?' Alec repeated the words he'd said to her last night on the Space Needle.
'I need a beer,' is what she managed to come up with. Alec laughed, pressing her briefly into his side before dropping his arm.
'First round's on me. Max?' He questioned, realizing that Max was still peering down at the butterfly.
Goodbye big brother. I won't forget what you thought me.
Max pivoted on her heel and felt her body go still when she caught sight of Alec's face. For a moment his features were softer, more childlike and with that tinge of innocence that had ultimately been Ben's undoing. The sun shifted and it was Alec staring back at her, head angled to the side as he waited patiently for her. Max cast one more look over her shoulder before moving her feet towards Alec.
May the Blue Lady watch over you.
You too, Maxie, you too.
The voice that answered as the barest whisper, the faintest murmur in the back of her head.
But it was enough.