Hahaha! To think that I would ever write this kind of story! While listening to a playlist based around sex. o.O Well, those who've read my other story know that I know how to write this shit…

So! Happy Saturday, or whatever day you're reading this!

Disclaimer: I don't own Invader Zim, because if I did, then I wouldn't have to write this. There would be much more of this in the show!

Warning: Slash. Guy on guy. ZimxDib. ZaDr. Please acknowledge!

Damn filth human!

Always foiling Zim's plots, attempting to convince the others, and just being an all around monkey! You'd think, after all these years, he'd give up! Even a little bit! But, no, he just has to be stubborn!

Humans disgusted Zim in general. But Dib was a special case. He made Zim sick to his squidley spooch. Or something that involved his lower abdomen. Whenever Zim saw him, he always got a weird feeling there.

Zim wished he knew what it was.

"Gir. Stop with the muffins already."

The small robot, who was in his disguise even though they were in the base, looked up at Zim at the order. He was holding a large muffin pan, about to throw the pastries into the huge pile that had already formed. "But they're muffins!"

"Exactly." Zim said, standing near the door. "I already heaved this morning because of them. I do not need to have more previously digested food come out of my mouth."

"Where you going, Master?" Gir asked innocently, noticing a gloved hand resting on the door handle.

"No idea." Zim replied. "I'm just hoping that the fresh air will help me devise a new plan."

"Tell the big headed boy I said HAI!" The robot cried.

Zim shook his head as his walked out. He would have asked what Gir had meant by that, but the truth was, the green-skinned teen had been bumping into Dib a lot more lately. It was usually in Zim's house, too, because Dib was trying out some secret ops phase.

So maybe he would tell the little bitch that Gir said 'hai'.

Just to screw with his mind.

Heh. He was thinking like a human. How…filthy.

He let my thoughts wander as his legs carried him wherever they wanted him to go. World domination, human food, home…

Home.

How he missed Irk. But that was a story to be told later on.

Dib watched the five different scenes on his computer screen. They were all taken from separate cameras in Zim's house to get the different angles in his life. The human switched to the next five as Zim left his house.

Now, Dib knows what you're wondering.

Dib, you're a healthy young man, why don't you go out in the world and get yourself a girlfriend and stop obsessing over the green kid?

Well, one, because he was gay. Second of all, he was obsessed with Zim. Ever since he had laid his eyes on him. It wasn't healthy, he'll tell ya. He played it off as hatred towards the alien for wanting to destroy the human race, and he tried to make people believe that Zim was a threat to society so that Dib could keep him in his lab for…testing.

Oh, the things I could do to him…

He shook his head. He was getting off on a tangent. Let's see where Zim was going today.

When his gaze focused back on the computer screen, he realized that Zim was standing outside Dib's house. He grinned. Well. This could fun.

Dib stood up and ran off to the front door. He put a scowl on his face as he opened the door. Walking out, he went up to the other boy. "Zim. What's up?"

Zim glowered at him. "I have no time for your infernal human interrogations. Stop wasting my life." He growled.

"Something tells me that you don't mean that." Dib said almost teasingly. "'Cause, let's face it, you're standing outside my house just staring. Do I have some connection to your big plan or something?" He smirked. "You know I don't play your games well, Zim."

Anger flooded Zim's eyes. "I shall initiate whatever games I shall, Dib-monkey!" He shouted.

Dib paused, staying calm. "Shut the fuck up." He said suddenly, purposely pissing Zim off. He was adorable when he was mad. His eyes (the real ones) would light up and sometimes even show through the lenses, he would clench his fists until veins could be seen pulsing, he would grit his teeth and form a perfect trapezoid with his triangular teeth…

Dib's provoking was successful.

"I SHALL RULE YOU!" Zim howled before speeding off back towards his house.

As soon as Dib was sure the alien was out of earshot, he laughed. He kept laughing as he went back inside his house. Zim was so fun to toy with.

"Dib. You're laughter annoys me. Shut up." Gaz grumbled as he walked past her.

The older of the siblings smiled at the other. "Shutting up." He replied, sprinting back to his lab/bedroom.

It was December. Snow and frost already dusted the ground, beautifying the world. The only thing that made it better?

As Dib focused on Zim on one of his hidden cameras in Zim's house as he ran down the street, just as a new snowstorm broke out in the world.

**FF**

"I. Hate. School." Zim growled to himself, hitting his forehead on my locker. Just you wait, Earth, he thought harshly. I will enslave you all to be my loyal servants.

"I see a plot in your eyes, Zim."

He turned around to face that damn paranormal-investigator-filth-bitch. "I hate you, just wanted to get that out there." The alien said bluntly.

"Frankly, I don't give a damn. The feeling's mutual." Dib said, smirking wickedly. "Shall I foil your plots once again?" He asked in that smartass tone of his.

Zim shrugged. "I'm tired. Thus, I don't have a plot for you to foil. Sorry to rain on your piteous parade."

Dib blinked, looking lost for a reply. It was turn for Zim to smirk.

"What? Squirrel got the filth-human's taste muscle?" He teased. Dib frowned, a flickering light above the two making his glasses shine, hiding his eyes.

"You fucked up that saying so much, it's not even funny." He said.

Zim rolled his eyes. "Whatever. I'm going to class. Fuck off." He retorted, turning away from the other teen.

Don't you worry about that, Zim, Dib thought lustily. I will. Definitely.

Okay. So…short chapter. Next chapter will be longer, I promise! xD So, you picking up what I'm putting down? Cocky!Dib in love, pissy!Zim is oblivious?

Well, anyway, it's pretty late at night. Shouldn't I be asleep right now? Ugh, someone help me. I feel like an insomniac. xD

Dib: Distopian Heart! Sleep! Now!

No.

Zim: *looks up* What are you doing up so late, Dib?

Yeah, Dibbles? What are you doing up so late?

Dib: Okay, first, Dibbles? The fuck? And second, I'm up really late because I just got a new CD and I wanted to listen to it.

Oh. Good reason, dude.

Zim: Meh. I've heard better.

Dib: What if I told you I stayed up so late because of you? Maybe you haunt my dreams so vividly that I can't stand to see you like that again unless it was for real.

Zim: …*crosses one leg over the other*

Dib: *smirks*

Well, before these two do unspeakable things to each other, I'll finish this bitch up. Alright, my minions! Rate, review, love!