1 - The Refugee
The city of Ba Sing Se is beautiful, in its own unique way. It is strong, despite its division. There is something harmonious about its segments.
I walk the streets of the lower ring, that is my home now. I am one of many refugees that have fled persecution from the Fire Nation. My father's estate was one of the last to be taken, ravaged by General Zhao, but I wasn't there to see it. My father sent me to Ba Sing Se when the first whispers of aggression were heard. He of course arranged for me to reside in the upper ring, something suitable for a member of the Ogawa family, but when I arrived I couldn't. My heart has always been for helping people, and there were people who needed help. I stayed in the lower ring, helping whoever I could, however I could, keeping my Ogawa identity a secret. Now with the refugees pouring in I'm needed more than ever.
I pause, hand hovering over my journal. That's enough for today, I think. Another wave of refugees will be arriving shortly, my memoir will have to wait. I cross my small apartment to the window, taking note of the sun's position. I probably have about thirty minutes until they arrive, confused, hungry and afraid. After a quick glance in the mirror to ensure my appearance is presentable, I head out.
"Hey Ayumi!" I turn to see Codo, my next door neighbor who hasn't been subtle about his crush on me, waving like crazy.
"Hi Codo," I wave back, wishing for his sake the feelings were mutual. They're not. We went on one date, and I felt no chemistry. I told him we need to just be friends. He's respected that, but he hasn't given up on me coming around one day, or so his mother tells me.
"Where are you going?"
"More refugees are arriving soon," I say by way of explanation."
He nods, "Need another volunteer?"
"Why not," I shrug, "Many hands make light work, and I'm one short."
"Uh…" Says Codo awkwardly, glancing at where my lame arm hangs useless in its sling.
"I'm sorry," I giggle, "That was a bad joke."
"Well it's good you can joke," Codo smiled at me, his brown eyes crinkling.
It took me a long time to not be bitter about my arm. Not that I've experienced anything different, I was born this way. I loathed that I was so helpless. Not anymore, I've studied self defense and martial arts, and am competent for a one working-armed nonbender.
We make small talk on the way to the edge of the city, Codo much more calm now. In the beginning he would jabber and sweat, running his hand through his short black hair until it stuck up in all directions. Now he talks as if talking to a friend.
"My little sister started earthbending yesterday," he informs me, a proud smile on his face.
"Cami? That's so exciting!" I say truthfully, knowing full well that Codo's family had been starting to lose hope. Cami is a bit of a late bloomer, and she's told me before how scared she was that she wasn't a bender.
I can remember her eyes widening as she looked at me and stammered, "N-not that there's anything wrong with not being a bender."
I had assured her that her feelings were normal, and that if I had six earth-bending brothers I would probably be worried too.
"She's probably very relieved," I say to Codo now.
He nods, "And she's progressing faster than any of us boys did. She's gifted."
"Well girls are superior to boys," I tell him sweetly.
"You only wish."
The train is just arriving when we enter the station, full by the looks of it.
The refugees are greeted by the loud and self-admittedly annoying voice of our director, Uni. "Any refugees in need of occupational assistance, please see Ayumi."
I wave, propping my log book in my sling as Uni drones on. I swear the woman takes serious pride in making herself sound as irritating as possible. I zone her out and flip to my list for today. I have ten positions that various lower ring business owners have agreed to let me fill.
The first refugee to visit me is an elderly man with a kind smile.
"Hello my dear girl, I am looking for jobs for myself and my nephew," he says, gesturing to where a young man is leaning against a pillar attempting to look casual.
Nothing about him seems casual, nor relaxed or happy. He is tense, afraid and hurting. I can't help but wonder if his mood has anything to do with the large scar across his eye. Even though it mars his face he is still handsome.
"Let me see what I have," I tell the old man brightly, prying my eyes from his nephew and on to my book.
"You have such unique eyes," he observes after a moment, and I look up to meet his own.
"Unfortunately yes," I sigh. I have always wished my eyes were normal, but no, one is jade green and one is golden brown. People aren't shy about staring. Not that I blame them, my eyes are weird. Weird eyes and a useless arm.
"Unfortunate? Not so my girl, you should celebrate what makes you special."
"I'll try," I promise, my eyes catching on the perfect fit. "There's a Tea House that is looking for two servers."
"Did you say Tea House?" The old man asks excitedly.
I nod, sneaking a glass at the man's nephew, who is staring at me in mistrust.
"We'll take it!" The old man says quickly, looking like he just received the best gift in the world.
"Perfect, what are your names?"
"I'm Mushi, and this is my nephew…" Mushi pauses as a look of panic appears on his face.
"Lee," the young man cuts in, suddenly appearing and putting a hand on Mushi's shoulder. "Forgive my Uncle, his memory is failing him."
"That's right," Mushi says just a bit too forcefully.
"Right," I say cheerily, writing in their names. Acting as if I have no idea they're lying through their teeth. It's none of my business, not when I'm lying too.
"Welcome to Ba Sing Se, Mushi and Lee, you will be working at Pao Family Tea House." I scribble the address down on a piece of paper and hand it to Mushi.
"Thank you, sweet girl, and what was your name?" He says with a wide smile.
"Ayumi O-" I catch myself just in time. "My name is Ayumi."
Mushi smiles, making up for Lee's angry glare. "It is a pleasure to meet you Ayumi, I hope we see you again soon."
I direct them to Codo for residence assignment, and watch as they leave.
I haven't been that close to slipping up in awhile. I'm Ayumi, just Ayumi, I drill myself, watching as Mushi and Lee talk with Codo. Correction: Mushi talks with Codo, Lee just stands there scowling.
He must feel me looking at him because his eyes meet mine, his frown deepening. I narrow my own eyes, meet his intense stare, not about to be scared off.
"Ma'am?"
"Hmm?" I look away to see a refugee standing in front of me, shaking and obviously exhausted. My heart melts at the sight of him and I banish Mushi and Lee from my mind.
The afternoon flies by, and soon Codo and I are walking back through the lower ring to our apartments.
"That went well, I think," says Codo.
I nod, lost in my thoughts. It's hard, as much as I love helping people. I can't help but feel their pain, their suffering.
"Want to stay for supper?" Codo asks as we stop outside his family's apartment.
"No, thank you, goodnight Codo." I want to write tonight, I've been feeling a rush of words building up on me that need to meet paper.
"Goodnight, Ayumi," he says as I walk away.
I settle in front of my small desk, taking my pen in my good hand and inhaling deeply. My father had always encouraged me to write, poetry, stories, simple journaling. It was only recently I decided to write my own story, all sixteen years of it. I take great pride in it, even if no one will ever read it.
I have always felt divided, torn between two worlds, I begin, my pen scratching slowly across the page. My own body is a testament to that division, presenting itself through my eyes. The jade green of my left eye is the same as my father, the same as every Ogawa to come before me. A strong dynasty of earthbenders. My right eye is a different story. It is my mother's. Not that my father has ever told me, but I can remember. I have the faintest memory of her smiling down at me with brilliant golden eyes, kind, set in a beautiful face. I feel split between them, mother and father, I am equal parts.
I am an Ogawa, one of the most ancient and esteemed families in the Earth Kingdom, but that is only half of me. I am illegitimate, a fact known only by my father and myself. The identity of my mother has been a carefully kept secret for my own safety. People wouldn't understand, my father said. He is right. So he wove the lie that my mother died when I was a baby, that my mother was the daughter of a humble Earth Kingdom farmer. The truth is far more complicated.
I am falling asleep with my pen in hand, head resting on the open pages of my journal, drifting into the same tumultuous dreamland that always centers on one person. Yuna, my mother. There is a second person waiting for me tonight though, a figure with a scarred face.
"Lee?" I mutter aloud as I am pulled completely into the dream.