The Wind That Blew My Heart Away

Chapter One: And I Love You

Here I was again in front of the two men that I love the most, the men I love above all, both fighting to keep me to themselves, and I too selfish to let one go. I don't know exactly when I got here, to the point where everything shifted but it did. I loved Edward. He had been my everything; been the one I had chosen to spend the rest of my life with. But something changed; I finally realized that I was wrong all along.

Jacob Black was the natural path my life would have taken but by the odd twists of fate it did not turn out that way, and now I had no time left to tell him that I loved him too. He had heard Edward say his best day was when I agreed to marry him and it destroyed Jacob that much was obvious. I know what I have to do now I have to let him go, I will let him go. He deserves to be free from me.As I watched him turn back towards me, Edward came to my side but I shrugged him off. I had to do this now, before I lost my courage and determination.

"Jacob." I spoke his name like a prayer as I walked closer to him and he snapped his head to look at me and I froze.

"Bella just say it and be done with it. For once goddamit say what you mean Bella! Just say it please! Destroy the little piece of my heart you haven't shred to pieces with your lies." He hissed with such bitterness and pain that it felt like he had stabbed me right in the chest.

I've seen Jacob, in pain because of me far too many times, I've lied to him over and over again, I've made him believe that I honestly didn't love him enough, and that someone else meant more than him, but it wasn't true anymore. That new knowledge could not change anything though, I had made my choice and it was far too late to turn back now. So I delivered the final blow that would surely make Jacob Black, my Jacob, hate me.

"You will always be second best, nothing more." I saw him flinch and his face crumbled in pain he stood there letting it sink in, he was too wrapped up in his pain he didn't hear the lie underneath that blasphemy.

He nodded his head and he walked right in front of me until he was but inches away from me. I felt Edward stiffen but he said nothing.

"That's a lie, I'm not second best, I've never been second best for you, but you keep telling yourself that! You made your choice and I'm just going to have to accept that. But before I turn around and walk away from you for good let me just say this. It may not be today or tomorrow or the day after that, but someday you will realize that I was the right choice for you and it will be far too late. So go with him, live forever in your "fairytale" but let me just tell you something, when you remember me a hundred years from now, and you will remember me, don't bother feeling remorse of regret, don't sob your tearless cries for me, do not be sad for me, because this man, this man standing right here in front of you, lived to the fullest extent! The man you claim is second best, lived his life with his heart wide open and even after every devastating blow I still believed and still hoped that it would get better, I may be a little bit broken but I will go on I will live the rest of my life and I'll embrace death when it comes for me. I'll see my children grow, and my grandchildren, and so on. I'll have bad times and I'll have good times and I'll smile and I'll cry and sometimes I might feel like I want to DIE! But I will NEVER feel as sorry for myself as much as I will feel sorry for YOU, because you are the one that will miss out on all those things that make life great. So goodbye Isabella Swan I hope with all my heart that you will be happy and I pray to God that I'm wrong."

Annihilated, mutilated, and shattered beyond belief, my heart had never felt this broken. Jacob was right, I knew he was right I've known it for quite a while and I deserve all those words, I deserve that look in his eyes and I deserve to be haunted by that face for the rest of eternity. That doesn't mean that I didn't feel like I had just died. Jacob kept looking at me searching inside of me through my eyes and as always he could see right through me, because he gasped and his eyes filled with tears.

"You know I'm right," he said staring at me with incredulous eyes as he waited for my answer. I would not lie this time. I could not lie. I had broken Jacob's heart already and now I was going to break my fiancé's un-beating heart. The sad part is I couldn't find it in myself to care; I needed Jacob, my Jacob, to know the truth he deserves to know. My eyes were overflowing with tears and I could hold them back no longer, as they broke free, so did I.

"Yes," I replied, and I watched as Jacob's face crumpled and he closed his eyes in pain and he let out a muffled sob.

"Then tell me why is it not enough?" he replied with a broken man's voice.

I have never seen Jacob shed any tears for me, although I'm more than sure he has. But this scene taking place in front of me was devastating, his pain had always been and would always be my pain, and at this moment it was more than I could take. He would not look at me and I could not bring myself to speak. Everything was so clear now and I wanted to yell and scream with joy that it WAS enough, that it will ALWAYS be more that enough. I wanted to run into his arms and kiss him and never ever let go. I was so wrapped up in Jacob that I did not hear Edward call my name until he finally stepped in front of me with a look that let me know he was letting me go.

"Bella, do you love him?" his sweet velvety voice broke me out of my reverie, as I looked into his golden eyes I knew that this was the moment of truth.

"Yes," I said and my voice had never held such conviction until now.

"More than you love me?"

I could not lie any longer, this much was certain. I could not go on with this charade of pretending that Jacob didn't matter to me because he does. I couldn't marry Edward when my heart belonged to someone else. Edward deserves someone who will love him unconditionally and that was no longer me.

"Yes. I'm sorry Edward I can't marry you," I said, reaching for the ring that once belonged to Elizabeth Masen and placed it in Edwards's hands. He smiled weakly at me and kissed me tenderly on the forehead.

"Go to him Bella."

My heart soared. The chains were broken and my heart was finally free. I turned to look at Jacob whose eyes expressed shock and confusion but above all I could see the fear in his eyes, the fear of falsely believing that I had chosen him.

A smile broke across my face. I had to let him know that he wasn't wrong to believe, so I ran to him and jumped into his arms. At that moment something unexpected happened. The dark heavy clouds that Forks was notoriously known for, broke away to let some sunshine descend directly where Jacob and I stood. We both looked up at the sky in awe for it was truly a sight to see and I knew this was a sign from the Heavens above that I had finally made the right choice.

"Bella?" Jacob's voice trembled and his eyes scanned my face as I smiled at him once again and spoke.

"Jacob. My Jacob."

The longing in my voice sent shivers down both our bodies, I couldn't help but laugh at how happy I was even though I was pretty much in the middle of hell, vampires tracking me trying to kill me but that was irrelevant at this point because I was finally truly happy here in the strong, warm arms of the man I'll always love.

I couldn't suppress my joy and Jacob spun me around in circles as tears fell from his eyes but I knew they were from happiness, just like mine. I looked into those beautiful ebony eyes that I would gladly get lost in from here on out, and I had to kiss him everywhere.

I kissed his cheek. "I love you," I said and he laughed his sweet laugh, but I wasn't finished yet so I kissed his other cheek, "I love you" his forehead, "I love you" his chin, "I love you" his nose, "I love you" and my Jacob continued to laugh all the while, and I swore I had never heard anything more beautiful than the sound of his laughter, the sound of his joy.

Finally I lunge to my final destination, his lips and I was lost in them, if this is how the rest of my days would be, I'd die a happy woman. The way Jacob kissed me was like nothing in the world, it was Heaven and this kiss would last forever in my memory for it was the moment that I found my rightful place, the place where I belonged, right here in Jacob's arms and in Jacob's life is where I was meant to be, it was the moment I came home.