Super Mario Babysitters
(Mario and Luigi's house in the Mushroom Kingdom)
It was a quiet afternoon at the Mario's house. Luigi was sitting on the couch playing with a sudoku book and his left arm wasn't broken anymore after that battle in the Kalos League. Mario was using the TV remote to flip through the channels on the TV.
Mario- It's nice to finally relax after working so hard with our friends for nearly six months. Now we can ready the grand unveiling next weekend right on schedule.
Luigi- You sure it will work and if it does, can it really help us stop Tabuu?
Mario- It should work. And Luigi, you should know if it does, it will. After all, you, me, Yoshi, Donkey Kong, Link, Kirby, Ash, Sonic, Ty, Pit, and Shantae have spent the last six months working on it while rarely taking a break. Like our trip to Pi'illo Island and the Kalos League.
Luigi- But why do we have to keep it a secret, again?
Mario- Because there are some individuals who I don't want to see crashing the event. Especially not Tabuu or any of his followers, who we don't know the identities of yet. But now, we can enjoy ourselves before the big event.
Suddenly, Mario's communicator rang. Mario pulled out his communicator and saw Ty was calling him.
Mario- Hey there, Ty. What's up?
Ty- G'day Mario mate. Listen, I think I need to ask a favor. I was thinking about taking Shazza out tonight to celebrate us finishing that special event before the weekend, but we need someone to watch Fang for us. You mind babysitting for us, mate?
Mario- If you don't mind me asking, why are you asking us? What about your friend, Maurie?
Ty- Fang plucked him bald and Maurie is waiting for his feathers to grow back.
Mario- Your brother, Sly?
Ty- Froze him with the Frostyrang.
Mario- Julius?
Ty- Fang activated the flamethrower on one of Julius' inventions and nearly burnt his fur off.
Mario- Denis the Green Tree Frog?
Suddenly, Ty began laughing like crazy. Mario hadn't heard that much laughter since everyone on his team saw Ty and Shantae crossdressing as each other after they both lost a bet. Eventually, Ty calmed down.
Ty- Sorry about that mate. Anyway, about Denis…trust me! You really don't want to know what happened between Fang and Denis.
Mario- Sounds like Fang has been a handful lately.
Ty- Not that much. I actually found time to care for Fang like a real dad last week thanks to Donkey Kong. But I just thought I could use some time with me wife as well after spending all that time on our little secret weapon.
Mario- (Sigh) For how long?
Ty- We should be back by 8:30 the latest.
Mario- Hey Luigi, think you can help me do a favor for Ty?
Luigi- Huh…?
(Ty's house in Buramudgee)
Mario and Luigi knocked on the door and Ty opened the door. Ty was wearing a black tuxedo with a white dicky and bowtie.
Ty- Honestly, I'm not sure if I enjoy wearing this penguin suit, mate. But thanks for coming on short notice.
Luigi- Can't believe you dragged me over here, Mario.
Mario- Ty did most of the work for our special surprise this weekend. Without Ty's technical skills, it would've taken us longer than six months to get this ready and we really need this to keep Tabuu on the run.
Ty- Not to mention this has been cutting into me social life so much, I probably wouldn't have found time to be a dad for Fang if DK hadn't of agreed to protect Buramudgee for a time after I helped him retrieve his Crystal Coconut. But we really do appreciate this, mate.
Then Shazza arrived while wearing a bright green sleeveless dress that went all the way down to her toe claws. And in one arms, she was holding and carrying Fang.
Shazza- I think you look as sharp as ever, possum. I know you were both there when I gave birth to Fang, but he has proven to be quite the handful.
Mario- I'm sure it will be no problem for us.
Luigi- Hey look! I think he remembers us!
Luigi moves his head closer to Fang when suddenly, Fang grabs the left half of Luigi's mustache…and yanks it off Luigi's face. Luigi just stood there with a blank expression on his face, but his eyes widened a bit. Mario and Ty had an "OMG" look on their face while Shazza placed her free paw over her mouth in shock as she saw what Fang did to Luigi. While at the same time, Fang just sat there in Shazza's arm, giggling while holding half of Luigi's mustache.
(Later inside Ty's house)
Luigi had just gotten out of the bathroom and the left half of his mustache had grown back on his face. Waiting outside the bathroom were Mario and Ty.
Ty- Well, it's good to know Julius' hair regrowth formula worked. Sorry that happened to yah, mate.
Luigi- Why on Earth does Fang always act so reckless?
Ty- I'd assume it's because of mine and Shazza's combined genes in Fang's DNA that causes it. I'm a hero and Shazza's a daredevil. So, my bravery and Shazza's lust for excitement is probably why Fang is so…mischievous.
Then Mario, Luigi, and Ty walked to the front door where Shazza was waiting while still holding Fang.
Shazza- Come on, possum! We don't want to be late for our reservation.
Ty- I'm coming, Shazza.
Ty slipped Shazza's coat onto her as she passed Fang to Mario.
Ty- We'll be back by 8:30. Fang, be nice for Mario and Luigi while we're gone.
Mario- Don't worry. Luigi and I will take good care of him until you get back.
Ty and Shazza got into their jeep and drove off.
Luigi- You sure we can handle this?
Mario- We've handled Tabuu. What could possibly go wrong?
Luigi- You mean asides from the part where the little ripped off half my mustache? Also, I don't think you should use that sentence. I heard that something really horrible in 1996 used to say "What could possibly go wrong" constantly.
Then Mario and Luigi went back inside Ty's house with Fang. Little did they know, three of Bowser's Koopalings were spying from the bushes in the distance, Larry, Wendy, and Roy Koopa.
Wendy- When King Dad told us to follow Mario and Luigi, I never thought they'd come back to Australia.
Roy- That Tasmanian tiger is part of their crappy group and it looks like the Mario Brothers have been reduced to babysitting his little brat.
Larry- That means that cub is vulnerable. This gives me an idea. Let's kidnap the kid and hold him for ransom. We'll force that Tasmanian tiger to give us all of his Gunyip machines for his son. Then King Dad can use them to conquer the Mushroom Kingdom and crush the Super Mario Brothers' Team.
Wendy- Clever, but there is just one flaw there.
Roy- How do we get passed Mario and Luigi?
Larry- Just leave that to me.
(Later in Ty's kitchen)
Mario and Luigi were able to get Fang to eat his baby food. However, the walls, floor, and ceiling were also covered baby food. It was also on Mario and Luigi.
Mario- Can't believe it took all that effort to feed Fang.
Luigi- Mario, I think we might need some help! Fang is just too wild!
Mario- Alright. I'll see if any of our other friends are available. You stay and clean the kitchen.
Mario picked up Fang and carried him into the living room. Mario gently placed Fang on the couch, pulled out his communicator, and began to call someone.
(Palutena's Skypalace)
Kirby, Pit, Meta Knight, and Dark Pit were still resting each in a different bed after what happened on Popstar a few weeks ago. Everyone except Kirby was taking a nap and Kirby heard his communicator ringing.
Kirby- Hello.
Mario- Hi Kirby.
Kirby- Mario! Good to hear from you.
Mario- Listen, think you can help me and Luigi with babysitting Fang for Ty?
Kirby- Sorry, but Palutena and Viridi still has me, Pit, Meta Knight, and Dark Pit under mandatory bedrest and they insist we don't get up from our beds until tomorrow afternoon. We'll still be able to make it to the big event this weekend, but I'm afraid we can't leave until Palutena and Viridi let us. Good luck with babysitting though.
(Station Square on Mobius)
Part of the city was smash and on fire while several firefighters were working on putting out the fires. Nearby, Silver was lying on the ground covered in blood while Sonic, Shantae, and Blaze were surrounding Silver. Blaze was holding Silver's hand while Shantae was using her magic to heal Silver's wounds.
Silver- …(GASP)…
Blaze- Don't worry, Silver! We'll get you better in no time!
Shantae- Try to keep him as calm as you can and try to keep him from moving around too much. That helps me treat his wounds better.
Sonic- I can't believe this happened! Nazo is gonna ****ing pay!
Suddenly, Shantae's communicator began to ring.
Sonic- Shantae, I think someone is trying to call you.
Shantae- Can you answer it, Sonic? I'm busy tending to your dying friend here.
Sonic picks up Shantae's communicator and answers it.
Sonic- Hello.
Mario- Sonic?
Sonic- Why so surprised, Mario?
Mario- I was trying to call Shantae.
Sonic- She's busy right now. Part of Station Square was just blown up and Silver has been put into critical condition.
Mario- What happened?!
Sonic- Remember that Link and I captured Nazo when he snuck to Hyrule and stole Ganondorf's Triforce of Power? Well, while Shantae and I were on our Deepsea adventure to Atlantis, Nazo broke out of jail and attacked Silver. Hopefully, this won't cause us any problems this weekend when we reveal our secret project.
Blaze- You have a secret project?
Sonic- We'll talk about it later. Anyway Mario, unless you need me and/or Shantae with a life or death situation, I'm afraid we can't help you at the moment. Sorry.
(Professor Kukui's hut in Alola)
Ash was sound asleep in his bed and it looked like he had several bruises on his face. Link was sleeping on the couch nearby with an icepack placed on this back. Ash's communicator rang. Ash and Link stayed asleep and continued to snore, but Pikachu and Rotom'dex decided to answer it.
Pikachu- Pikachu?
Mario- Hey Pikachu. Can I speak to Ash?
Rotom'dex- Sorry, but Ash is unavailable at the moment.
Mario- Uh…who was that?
Pikachu- Pika.
Rotom'dex- I am Rotom'dex, Ash's new personalized Poke'dex and traveling companion. Pikachu has told me you are Super Mario, correct.
Mario- Yes, I am. But I'm calling because I was hoping Ash can help with something.
Rotom'dex- Well, Ash is sound asleep right now. Him and Link recently went through one intense ordeal. It would be best to let his rest at the moment.
Pikachu- Pikachu! Pika pi chu Pikachu!
Rotom'dex- Pikachu said…
Mario- I think I already know. Thanks anyway.
(Back at Ty's house)
Mario hangs up his communicator and puts his hand over his forehead.
Mario- Looks like you and I are on our own, Luigi.
Luigi just finished cleaning up the kitchen and he walked into the living room as well.
Luigi- Dang it! I really do hope when Fang gets older, he'll be less of a challenge to handle.
Suddenly, the doorbell rang.
Mario- Who could that be at this hour?
Mario and Luigi left Fang on the couch while they went to answer the door. When they answered the door, there was a very oddly dressed man with a dorky grin on his face, like how door to door salesman look in the early 90's cartoons and he was carrying a duffel bag.
Salesman- Good afternoon gentlemen! Allow me to introduce myself. Robert Dome, door to door salesman. And I have something you'd be crazy to pass up on.
Luigi- Sorry, but we don't even live in this house.
Mario- We're just babysitting for a friend.
Salesman- Don't you worry your little heads there. This will only take a minute.
The salesman just walked into Ty's house and into the living room where Fang was still sitting on the couch sucking on one of his claws and shaking his rattle. The salesman pulls out a large vacuum cleaner out of the duffel bag.
Salesman- Allow me to demonstrate.
Luigi- Don't you need to plug it in?
Salesman- Nope…
As soon as the salesman flicked the switch, Mario and Luigi were sucked right into the vacuum, almost cartoon style as they were sucked into the bag. Then the salesman removed his disguise, revealing it was really Larry Koopa. Larry quickly picked up Fang and rushed out the door where Roy and Wendy were waiting for him.
Larry- I told you I had it covered. Now let's hurry and get to the clown car we borrowed from King Dad without his permission! I don't think that vacuum bag will hold the Mario's for very long!
Back over with Mario and Luigi, a fireball was able to burn right through the bag. After the fireball made a hole in the vacuum bag, Mario and Fire Luigi jumped out.
Fire Luigi- Mario…where's Fang?
As soon as Fire Luigi asked that question, Mario quickly looked at the couch and saw Fang was missing. Then Mario and Fire Luigi quickly rushed out the front door only to see Bowser's clown car in the air being driven by Larry, Wendy, and Roy Koopa. They also saw Fang was riding it as well.
Mario- Koopalings! Crap! Should've known that was a trick!
Roy- And now we got this Tasmanian tiger cub.
Wendy- Don't worry, we won't hurt him.
Larry- But we want his daddy to hand over all of his Gunyip machines to King Dad if he wants his cub back. We'll be back later the Tasmanian Tiger comes back home.
Then the clown car flew away in the distance.
Mario- Oh shit! Now we have a hostage situation! There's no telling how much trouble the Koopas can cause with Ty's Gunyips!
Fire Luigi- Actually Mario, it's even worse than that! How do you think Ty and Shazza will react when the figure out their son was kidnapped on our watch?!
Mario quickly put his hand over his face.
Mario- Oh ************!
(At the restaurant Ty and Shazza went to)
Ty and Shazza were dining at a fancy five-star restaurant where everything is top of the line. Fine dining, beautiful decor, mood lighting, and even a jazz band was performing on a stage. And Ty and Shazza's table was close to the stage.
Jazz singer (Singing)- My baby's gone, my baby's gone.
Shazza- Not…thinking…about…Fang…
Ty- Shazza, you need to relax. I'm sure Mario and Luigi are taking great care of Fang. They've taken down Tabuu. I'm sure Fang is in good hands.
Shazza- I'm trying to remain calm and enjoy the night, possum. It's just not as easy as I would like.
Ty- (Sigh) Alright, Shazza. I'll put your worries to rest.
Then Ty pulls out his communicator out of his pocket and makes a call.
(Back over at Ty's house)
Mario had eaten a super leaf and transformed into Raccoon Mario while Luigi was still Fire Luigi.
Raccoon Mario- Got my flying power-up. Now we can get to Koopa Castle and…
Suddenly, Mario heard his communicator ring. When Mario pulled it out, the caller id said it was Ty that was calling.
Raccoon Mario- Oh shit!
Fire Luigi- What are we gonna do?!
Raccoon Mario- Let's just play it cool and we can get through this! Then we can go get Fang before Ty and Shazza find out!
Fire Luigi- You mean lie to them?!
Raccoon Mario pushed the button and answered the call.
Raccoon Mario- Uh…G'day Ty!
Ty- G'day Mario. Shazza is just a little worried about Fang. Can you tell her there's nothing wrong?
Raccoon Mario- Uh…sure thing! Fang is being an absolute angel! No problem at all!
Ty- See Shazza! I told you Mario and Luigi had everything under control.
Shazza- I guess you were right, possum. I do need to stop worrying.
Ty- I really do appreciate this, mate. I'll see you both at 8:30.
After Ty hung up, Raccoon Mario put his palm over his head again.
Fire Luigi- Nice work, Pinocchio!
Raccoon Mario- It's 6:30 now! That means we have two hours until to rescue Fang from Castle Koopa and get back here before Ty and Shazza get back home! Come on, Luigi! Let's get a move on!
(Castle Koopa)
Larry, Roy, and Wendy flew the clown car back to Castle Koopa. Little did they know, Fang was also crawling right out of the clown car and crawling away.
Larry- Now we just have to keep an eye on the kid until the Tasmanian tiger gets home so we can sort out the ransom.
Roy- Great, now we're babysitters!
Larry- It will be worth it once we get our claws on those powerful machines he likes to use a lot.
Wendy- Larry, Roy, where's the cub?
Then Larry and Roy saw that Fang wasn't in the clown car anymore. Then Roy slaps Larry in the back of his head.
Roy- Nice going, dumbass! Now we have to play hide and seek with him until we find the runt!
(Somewhere else in Castle Koopa)
Iggy, Lemmy, and Bowser Jr. were pouring themselves a glass of glass of milk, unaware that someone had just entered the kitchen.
Bowser Jr.- That feels so much better.
Iggy- It's definitely good for our bones.
As they drank their milk, Lemmy spilled some on the floor and Fang crawled from underneath the table to lick some.
Lemmy- Hey look! A kitty!
Iggy- How cute!
Bowser Jr.- But why is it wearing a diaper. Also, this guy looks familiar.
While Bowser Jr., Lemmy, and Iggy were pouring a bowl of milk for Fang, Larry entered the kitchen.
Larry- What are you guys doing?
Lemmy- Look, we found a kitty here in the castle.
Larry- That's not a kitty! That's the son of the Tasmanian Tiger that joined the Mario's!
Iggy- What?! Is that Tasmanian Tiger here in the castle?!
Larry- Of course not! Me, Wendy, and Roy kidnapped him and are planning to use this cub to get those Gunyip machines.
Bowser Jr.- Looks like he just left after he finished the milk. He's not here anymore.
Larry- What?!
Then they noticed the kitchen door close.
Larry- He's in the hallway! Don't just stand there! Help me catch this kid!
(In the hallway of the castle)
Larry, Iggy, Lemmy, and Bowser Jr. rushed outside the hallway. Then tried to see if they could see which way Fang went, but then Roy, Wendy, Ludwig, and Morton arrived.
Ludwig- Larry, you, Roy, and Wendy better have a good excuse for waking me and Morton up!
Morton- Yeah! King dad will not be happy if he finds out we're still up passed our bedtime!
Roy- Trust me, we do!
Wendy- You remember that Tasmanian Tiger who's like the smart one in the Mario Brothers' Team and also like to use his boomerangs and fancy technology?
Larry- We've taken his son and are gonna use him as leverage to get those huge and powerful Gunyip machines. However…the cub is loose in the castle. We have to find him or we'll lose more than just the ransom.
Ludwig- Fine, we'll help you find the brat, but those Gunyips better be worth risking being up passed out bedtime. We all know what happened the last time King Dad caught us up pasted our bedtime.
Then the Koopalings began to split up in search for Fang. But they'll soon find out that was a bad move on their part. Morton thought he saw something wiggling behind one of the Koopa suits of armor and goes to check it out. When Morton looks behind the suit of armor, he saw Fang, but Fang was making an unusual face while his diaper was pointing at Morton.
Morton- Is something wrong?
Before Morton even knew it, Fang left a load in his diaper and the smell was enough to knock Morton to the ground. Morton also knocked over the suit of armor Fang was hiding behind and the morning star it was holding landed on top of Ludwig's head. When the other Koopalings and Bowser Jr. heard rushed to see what the noise was. However, there was some kind of yellow liquid on the floor of the hallway which you readers would rather not knowing what it is and the Koopalings began sliding all over the place and crashing into each other.
(An outside view of Castle Koopa)
From a bird's eye view of the castle, the sounds of things breaking could be heard, a chair was thrown out the window, a small fire erupted from one of the towers for a second or two, they the sounds of screaming could be heard.
(Back inside the castle)
All the Koopalings and Bowser Jr. were quivering in fear in the corner of one room. While at the same time, Fang was crawling towards them while making those giggling noises babies make. Suddenly, Raccoon Mario and Fire Luigi flew through the window like how Bowser flew through that window in Paper Mario, and landed in the hallway.
Fire Luigi- Couldn't we have been quieter? We could've woken Bowser!
Raccoon Mario- Sorry, but we're in a hurry. All right you little Koopa brats! Hand over Fang or we'll…
Then the Koopalings and Bowser Jr. quickly grabbed Fang and dropped him in Mario's hand.
Bowser Jr.- Take him!
Raccoon Mario- I hadn't finished my speech.
Then they put a treasure chest in Fire Luigi's hands.
Roy- Take this too! Take it all!
Larry- Just get that little monster away from us!
Raccoon Mario and Fire Luigi looked at each other for a moment, but then they grinned at the last moment.
Raccoon Mario- Oh Fang, before we bring you back home…how about giving the nice Koopalings a kiss goodbye?
All seven Koopalings and Bowser Jr. at the same time- NOOOOOOOOOO!
Then they ran through the wall almost Looney Toons style. However, Fire Luigi thought he smelled something and took a look at Fang.
Fire Luigi- Mario, I think Fang needs a new diaper.
(Back at Ty's house)
Mario and Luigi were back at the house and they placed Fang on the couch with a clean diaper.
Luigi- That was one heck of a rush!
Mario- Agreed! Getting Fang back from Castle Koopa and back to the house, not to mention changing his diaper while at the same time doing it all before Ty gets back was a stretch.
Then Mario and Luigi saw Ty and Shazza's jeep pull into the driveway.
Mario- Looks like Ty and Shazza are home.
Luigi- Makes sense, it's 8:30. And about time too!
The front door got unlocked and Ty and Shazza returned home.
Ty- We're back, mates!
Mario- Welcome back, Ty! How was dinner?
Ty- Dinner went magnificently.
Shazza walked over to the couch and picked Fang up.
Shazza- I bet you were a good boy for Mario and Luigi, weren't you Fang.
Fang- Ssss…sssu…Super…Mar..io…Br…others…
Ty- Did Fang just speak?!
Shazza- Yes possum! He did! Fang really likes you, Mario and Luigi!
Ty- Maybe after we finish out special grand unveiling this weekend, we can talk about babysitting again some other time?
When Mario and Luigi heard that, they immediately fainted. Ty and Shazza had confused looks on their faces. However, while Fang was still being held by Shazza, Fang turned to look at the audience reading this story and winked.
The End