Title: Sanctuary
Author: lildreamer
Rating: K
Pairings: slight McWeir
Spoilers: brief references from season 1 all the way through 3rd season
Summary: As their leader, she makes it her business to know where their sanctuaries are—the places they go at the end of the bad days.
Disclaimer: I do not own Stargate: Atlantis or any of its characters. If I did, I wouldn't have killed off the good doc!
A/N: The concept for this short story was borrowed from another fanfic writer.
All right, on with the story…Dr. Elizabeth Weir sighs wearily as she glances around her office. She has just put all her files away and shut down her computer, prepared to call it a day. She and the rest of the Atlantis personnel have been working tirelessly these past few weeks, trying to figure out how to stop the Wraith. In the short time that they have been there, they have already lost as much as they have gained. The city has become their home and they protect it as such. But all the work and effort they have put into keeping it safe from their enemies has come at a high price. They have lost so many on the way. Including their resident doctor and good friend, Dr. Carson Beckett.
A sad smile comes to Elizabeth's face at the memory of their friend. And she almost feels guilty for forgetting. But he is not the only person they have lost. There are countless others who have given their lives to protect not just Atlantis but their true home—earth. Their efforts have given the city more time and a more likely chance for survival. And though she does not know each and every one of them personally, she will always remember their sacrifice.
She takes one last look around her office making sure that everything is in its proper place then touches the panel by the door, turning off the lights. The door slides shut behind her with a soft swoosh as she steps out into the corridor outside her office. The city is still buzzing with activity, though not the way it used to be. Because of the many that have fallen in recent battles, a good-sized chunk of their personnel is gone. As she walks down the corridor, she can't help but recall how the city had once been a place so full of life and laughter. But that laughter had died a long time ago. They have all seen too much death. Lost too many they care for. And it is affecting them more than anyone cares to admit. They are no longer human beings, but mindless automatons consumed by their work. With the Wraith an ever-present threat, there no longer seems to be room to feel, care, or cherish. Even those of her flagship team are beginning to show signs of wearing down.
Though she does not see them at the moment, she knows exactly where she can find them. As their leader, she makes it her business to know where their sanctuaries are—the places they go at the end of the bad days. For Ronon it's the gym, taking out his frustrations on a punching bag. Though he seems like a big, tough guy on the outside, she knows that inside the Satedan is hurting just as much as they are. For Teyla it's the mainland with her people. Being with them reminds the Athosian of why she must continue what she is doing. They remind her of what she is fighting for.
As Elizabeth walks past a window, she catches a glimpse of a puddle jumper circling just above the city. She watches it for a moment, knowingly. It's the colonel. The skies are his sanctuary—and always have been. It is the reason he enjoys flying so much. He spends hours up there, alone, trying to clear his mind. And only returns when he is needed. Elizabeth shakes her head sadly as she continues walking. Col. Sheppard is not the only one that prefers to be alone these days.
She rounds a corner and steps into one of the science labs within the city. She doesn't know why or how she's gotten there, but that's where her feet have taken her. Its sole occupant looks up, hearing her enter, and gives her a brief greeting before ducking his head back behind his computer.
This is Rodney's place. His lab. He spends hours—even days, sometimes weeks—here examining alien devices, going through numerous formulas and calculations, and studying the Ancient database. The only times he can be pulled away are for meals or missions. Other than that, he might as well be a permanent fixture in the lab.
Elizabeth watches him for a moment, fiddling with the computer and furiously jotting down notes, before she silently sinks into a seat across from him. She is tired. So tired. Of everything. She closes her eyes, releasing a trickle of tears.
"It wasn't supposed to be like this…" she whispers, her voice rusty and choked from disuse and tears.
Rodney stops what he's doing and looks up at her. Her eyes are downcast and her shoulders are slumped. She reaches up and quickly dries her eyes, trying to hide the tears. Though he doesn't show it, the scientist understands her perfectly. Atlantis was supposed to be a safe haven away from earth's enemies. A place where their band of scientists and a few military personnel could study this new discovery without having to worry about staying alive.
They weren't supposed to get into life-threatening battles, fighting for their survival. They weren't supposed to give their lives to satisfy the new enemy's hunger. They weren't supposed to be protecting the city—the city was supposed to be protecting them. And he wasn't supposed to lose any more people he cared about ever again. Of course, the day they had inadvertently roused the Wraith from their sleep, he'd learned that 'supposed to' meant nothing. It was a lesson he hadn't wanted to learn again.
He remains quiet, trying to pull himself out of his memories. Elizabeth sighs, resting her cheek on her hand, swiping at the tear tracks with the other. Rodney goes back to his computer, but watches out of the corner of his eye as Elizabeth's once bright blue eyes—now gray and vacant—drift shut. As he watches her snooze peacefully, tears come to his own eyes, blurring her form. He sits there, not thinking much, just wondering, feeling the same old why that came at times such as this. And he fights the urge to reach over and move a stray strand of hair from her face.
The city is quiet, the graveyard personnel already at their posts, when Zelenka wanders into the lab to check on his colleague's progress. He opens his mouth to issue another complaint but instantly silences when he notices the other person in the room. Rodney gives him a disapproving look and the Czech scientist turns to leave to return another time. The doorway swooshing open once again wakes Rodney's sleeping visitor. As Zelenka slips out of the room, leaving them alone, Rodney walks around the desk and helps Elizabeth to her feet. She steps closer and hugs him briefly, surprising both him and herself.
As they pull apart, she looks the scientist fully in the face for the first time since finding herself in his lab and notes that some of the strain of the past few weeks has eased. The sadness remains behind his eyes and she knows that tomorrow while she waits anxiously in her office, Rodney will once again be off-world with Col. Sheppard and the rest of the team on another mission. They will lend each other strength. And together they will relearn how to be human beings again.
"C'mon, why don't we grab something to eat?" she suggests.
He nods in agreement and they exit the room and head down the corridor toward the mess.
Elizabeth watches in amusement as the scientist sits down next to her, his plate piled high with food. As they begin to eat, she realizes that she too is more relaxed than she has been in weeks. She smiles softly, watching him stuff his face, and wonders…
When did Rodney become her sanctuary?
So, whaddaya think? Love it? Hate it? Feedback welcome!