Disclaimer: I don't own, or steal anything. I'm cool, not to mention legal, and I borrow.

Spoilers: Nothing big, I hope. Basically it's good if you've followed the series and if you are aware of what's currently going on for each character.

Author's Notes: Basically, this is my idea for an episode. It's not one of those "what if" things, just think of it as an idea for an episode. And excuse my humor, I'm not a top style comedy writer. But I'll write what I think is funny. This takes place sometime in the 7th season, because I'm not a fan of Randy or Sam. Also, my personal views are not those expressed in here..for example, any offensive jokes, etc.

THAT '70S SHOW

" Oh, I Hope These Aren't The Days! "

CAST

ERIC FORMAN...TOPHER GRACE

DONNA PINCIOTTI...LAURA PREPON

MICHAEL KELSO...ASHTON KUTCHER

STEVEN HYDE...DANNY MASTERSON

JACKIE BURKHART...MILA KUNIS

FEZ...WILMER VALDERRAMA

RED FORMAN...KURTWOOD SMITH

KITTY FORMAN...DEBRA JO RUPP

BOB PINCIOTTI...DON STARK

FADE IN:

INT. FORMAN BASEMENT - MORNING (DAY1)

THE GANG HANGS OUT.

KELSO

So, after that, I decided that next time, before I decide to jump off my roof, I

should cover my whole yard with something soft.

ALL

What?

KELSO

Those jumbo marshmellows! That way, when I fall, I'll fall onto the marshmellows!

ERIC

Kelso, isn't that dangerous?

KELSO

Eric, God! If it was dangerous, do you think I would do it? I have my good looks to protect, here!

DONNA

Kelso, I have to agree with Eric. Jumping into a whole pile of marshmellows, sounds quite...tempting, but you can really hurt yourself.

KELSO

Look guys, Mommy and Daddy Forman are trying to protect me!

HYDE

Kelso, as your friend, I want you to know that if there is a chance of you getting hurt, which would be absolutely hilarious, then I think it's a great idea.

FEZ

Haha Mommy and Daddy. Mommy and Daddy Forman, will you wipe my ass for me?

THE GANG, BESIDES FOR ERIC AND DONNA, LAUGH

FEZ

And..Mommy and Daddy, will you kiss my boo-boo for me?

THE GANG, BESIDES FOR ERIC AND DONNA, LAUGH

FEZ

And..Mommy and Daddy, will you dress up in police costumes and spank me?

NO ONE LAUGHS, EXCEPT FOR FEZ

FEZ

What, can't a boy dream?

HYDE (TO JACKIE)

Why are we friends with him, again?

JACKIE (TO HYDE)

Because, foreigners are good for some things. Driving taxis-

HYDE (TO JACKIE)

Oh yeah, and getting beer.

CUT TO: OPENING CREDITS.

FADE OUT.

FADE IN:

INT. FORMAN KITCHEN

(RED IS SITTING AT THE TABLE, READING THE NEWSPAPER. KITTY IS MAKING BREAKFAST)

KITTY

Sighs

RED PRETENDS NOT TO NOTICE, AND CONTINUES READING

KITTY

Sighs, more obvious now

RED

(Annoyed)

Ugh, can you stop sighing? What can you be sad about? You got a dog, you have me, you have-

ERIC WALKS IN, WEARING A STAR WARS JEDI COSTUME

RED

-A son that wears a costume that makes him look like an ass.

to Eric

What are you doing wearing that silly costume? Jackass.

ERIC

Oh, well to you it is just a costume. Yet to me, it's what makes me powerful and mighty.

RED

Want to know what makes me feel mighty? My foot, up your ass.

ERIC

Now, usually I wouldn't let that get to me. And today..I won't let it get to me even more. Nothing will ruin my day. You see, poor humans, today is the one day where I can dress up as a Jedi, and no one will care! It's the National Star Wars Convention, being held at our mall..here..(excited)in POINT PLACE!

RED

You're not going

ERIC

What? Why not?

RED

Because I tell you to clean the Vista Cruiser, you don't listen. I ask you to do some simple chores, you don't listen. You and your deviants that you call friends, wasting your life in my basement. So now, no, you're not going.

ERIC LOOKS LIKE HE'S ABOUT TO CRY

KITTY

Oh come on Red, let him go.

RED

No! Absolutely not! He had all year to go out and have fun, while we're slaving away giving him meals and a shelter. God Eric! When you're my age, you're going to pray to God you don't have a son that's as lazy, and that is such a dumbass, as mine.

FANTASY SEQUENCE IN RED'S POV

RED AND KITTY ARE OLD AND WEAK, RED SITTING BY THE TABLE READING. KITTY IS NEXT TO HIM, TRYING TO PICK UP FOOD WITH HER FORK YET NEVER GETTING IT. IT IS OBVIOUS SHE IS HAVING TROUBLE.

KITTY

Oh..thank God we have a great daughter like Laurie around to help us.

(Yells)

LAURIE!

AN OLDER VERSION, AND MORE SLUTTY VERSION, OF LAURIE ENTERS.

LAURIE

(Under her breath)

Such dumbasses

(Out loud)

Yes Mommy? Daddy?

RED

Give us the syrup please.

KITTY

Red, ask her for the syrup!

RED

I did Kitty.

KITTY

ASK HER FOR THE GOD DAMN SYRUP!

ERIC ENTERS, DRESSED AS SOME RANDOM STAR WARS FIGURE. HE IS ABOUT 40ISH

ERIC

Well, I'm off to the Star Wars Convention! Yup, for the 30th year in a row! And this year, I'm bound to win the costume contest.

RED

Did you clean..no wait..did you...oh damn I forgot what I was going to ask you! Dumbass.

ERIC EXITS, AS A RANDOM MAN ENTERS THE KITCHEN. LAURIE AND THIS MAN START MAKING OUT IN FRONT OF THEIR PARENTS.

KITTY SIGHS

BACK TO REALITY

KITTY SIGHS

RED

See, that's what's going to happen. If he doesn't take responsibility, he's not going to-

KITTY

Be successful?

RED

No! Move out!

FADE OUT.

FADE IN:

INT. THE BASEMENT. EVERYONE IN THEIR USUAL SPOTS, ERIC STILL WEARING HIS COSTUME.

KELSO

You know Eric? That totally sucks they wouldn't let you go to that convention

ERIC

Kelso, why do you care? You hate Star Wars.

KELSO

Yeah, but..I was going to totally make a move on Donna while you were out.

DONNA JUMPS UP, IN DISGUST, AND MOVES AWAY

ERIC

I'm just mad that Red's not letting me go because of my year off. I wasn't totally wasting it

HYDE

Forman man, you sat around. all day. You had bubblegum icecream. You caught butterflies. You had a free, wasted year, my friend.

FEZ

Yeah..you had a wasted year while me, I practically did it every night,

DONNA

Fez, you didn't do it every night.

FEZ

Oh..yeah, I saw..uh... you and Eric do it every night.

JACKIE

Well, Eric, you and Donna are like, the most responsible people ever. I'm sure you'll turn out fine.

(Whispering to Hyde, mouthing)

NO HE WON'T!

ERIC

So you think I'm responsible? Thanks Jackie. You know, I never really liked you, but I guess going out with Hyde turned you into a different person.

JACKIE

Well Eric, to be totally honest, I only said that becuase me and Steven need your couch for..going over his record shop..things!

DONNA

Look Eric, you're totally responsible. I mean, do you remember Kelso's idea with jumping off the roof? We were the only sane people trying to stop him!

ERIC

But Donna, I don't want to be seen as the parents of the group. I'm a rebel!

(Gets up and does the bas-ass symbol with his hands)

EVERYONE, EXCEPT FOR ERIC AND DONNA, LAUGH.

DONNA

Oh c'mon Eric. Having that reputation isn't that bad.

FANTASY

ERIC AND DONNA, OLDER, ARE SITTING AT THE FORMAN'S TABLE EATING.

DONNA

Dropping the kids off at school today?

ERIC

(Not looking up)

Yep.

DONNA

Picking up Hyde's bailing fees?

ERIC

Yep.

DONNA

Picking up Jackie's new bag today?

ERIC

Yep.

KELSO WALKS IN, OLD AND FAT

KELSO

Howdy.

ERIC

Kelso! What are you doing here?

KELSO

Well, since you two are all responsible now, I figured I'd stay with you two. I've been living in your basement for like, 4 hours now!

DONNA

Kelso, you can not live in my basement.

KELSO

Aw c'mon Donna! We can have slumber parties, which will turn into pillow fights, which will turn into me taking your shirt off..

ERIC

Kelso!

KELSO

Well, you're no fun. Anyway, I came up here to look for some big marshmellows..

BACK TO REALITY

KELSO

That would so not happen

JACKIE

Why? Because you some how think you'd be more mature?

KELSO

Uhh..no! Because, when I'm older...I am NOT going to be old..or fat!