And A Partridge In A Pear Tree!

by Mulch Diggums

Being in a Christmas mood, the Fowl Characters wrote out their wishlists. This may be kept going throughout the year, to remind us all of the Holidays!

1. Chapter 1

And A Partridge In a Pear Tree!

Author's Notes:

I am NOT responsible for any spontaneous hysterics that may occur after reading this. Nor will I revel that I actually own none of the characters in here. By the way, all the bolded things are comments by the person who is writing the list.

Artemis Fowl's Christmas Wish List:

A fairy shuttle (Obviously, my parents cannot read this.)

Half a metric ton of gold (As per usual)

Dr. Po off my back (As soon as possible, even if it means that I am one gift short under the tree!)

Psychology in Retrospect By Dr. F. Roy Dean Schlippe (That's a book.)

Unlimited access to Foaly's Files (I have reason to believe he has some of my memories on file, I wish to delete them.)

My c-cube back (Foaly took it. Among other things. I promise that I won't deal with any more crooked American businessmen. My newest contact is a crooked American businesswoman.)

World Peace (I'm not all bad, Holly.)

Domovoi Butler's Christmas Wish List:

A new Sig Saur (My old one is wearing down.)

The latest Guns and Ammo (So I like to read? So what?)

A law degree (Who knows when you might need one. Real or fake is optional)

Two Fairy Blasters (I like those babies. The don't kill, which can be helpful.)

Commander Julius Root's Christmas Wish List:

Fungus Cigars (You can never have enough, especially with Short around.)

Fungus Cigars (So I like a little smoke every once in a while, so what? It ain't killed me yet!)

An ashtray (My old one disintegrated.)

Fungus Cigars (SHUT UP ABOUT THE CIGARS!)

The newest Baby-Sitter's Club Books (Remember, I know where you live.)

Mulch Diggum's Christmas Wish List

Beetle Beer (Or Stinkworm Wine. Makes for good chin hair.)

Gold. Lots and lots of gold. (Shiny)

Stealing made legal (I'm kleptomanic. I can't help it. Not like that's gotten me out of jail, thanks again you stupid lawyer!)

Goblin's made illegal (Stupid slimy things should never have been legal.)

Fire made illegal (I hate fire.)

Ice made illegal (I hate ice.)

More gold (REEEEEEEEALLLL SHINY!)

Holly Short's Christmas Wish List

To be able to blast all of Fowl's portraits (Their sooo creepy!)

A new apartment (Have you seen mine!)

The newest StopAction single, Dwarves in a Tunnel (StopAction is the best fairy band!)

StopAction concert tickets (I can dream, can't I?)

Foaly to be wrong for a whole week (I love him being wrong!)

Fowl to be wrong for a whole week (Then I could laugh at him! Ha!)