A/N: This work was inspired by Shizune, of course. She's a great medic, she knows how to do autopsies and she's a ninja. Put two and two together et voila! One amazing series!

Every chapter contains on short mystery, but at the end of every series, there will be a special three-chapter mystery. Some mysteries are two-chapters. It depends.

This is my fourth fanfic. Hope you enjoy it!

Warning: Content may be unsuitable for audiences under the age of 14 (NOT THAT IT WILL STOP YOU). Involves gruesome vocab and all the joys of this world (wink wink nudge nudge)

PT 1 - Ch.1 Secrets of Orochimaru

"Shizune, get in here now!" roared a dangerously drunk Tsunade.

Shizune burst in, a couple of textbooks in hand, while Tonton was scurrying along behind her.

"Yes, Lady Tsunade?" she asked breathlessly.

"I need you to do some investigations on Orochimaru's spy ninjas. You will be put with Nara Shikaku, Yamanaka Inoichi, Hatake Kakashi, Jiraiya and Haruno Sakura."

Shizune took a deep breath. She knew what her job entailed in this mission. Not only was Shizune an assistant to the Hokage, but she was also an autopsy specialist. 'At least I'm with Sakura on this one,' she sighed in relief.

"I need you to find out everything there is to know about it. Find everything that has to do with "Orochimaru" and "experiments". As you know, Orochimaru prides himself for creating his two greatest accomplishments: the curse mark and Furo Fujin no Jutsu, the art of immortality. Find out everything about it and report it back to me as soon as possible."

"Hai Tsunade-sama."

***

"Huh," muttered Kakashi for what seemed like the hundredth time. Might Guy finally couldn't take it anymore. Facing his eternal rival, he shouted, "LOOK, I ADMIRE YOUR FIERY YOUTH AND SUCH, BUT WILL YOU QUIT IT FOR ALL OUR SAKES!!"

All of the jonin and senseis were gathered at Ichiraku for a relaxing afternoon. Kurenai's head was nodding off Asuma's shoulder, and the said person was sleeping as well. Kakashi didn't really feel like reading his orange book, so he was doodling on a scrap piece of tissue. The only person who was hyper was Might Guy, and he seemed to be rubbing it in their faces without even realizing it.

"Come on, comrades. Don't let this youthful day go to waste!" cried Guy, standing and doing his signature thumbs-up, twinkling smile move.

Kurenai finally snapped. For the past half-hour, she had been trying to have a relaxing nap. She cracked her knuckles menacingly.

"Do you want me to extinguish that youthful fire of yours permanently, Guy?" Behind her, Kakashi pulled out a kunai, and Asuma took out his hand-knives. Just as they were about to give Guy a beating of a lifetime, Shizune burst in.

Relief dawning on Guy's face, he looked at Shizune in wonder. "Shizune! You have saved me from a terrible gruesome death!"

Shizune ignored him. "Kakashi, we have a mission to do."

The one-eyed ninja whined, "But Shizune, I was just about to kill Guy!"

"NOW!"

"Ok, whatever."

Guy was sighing in relief when they left. But he soon realized that she didn't bring Kurenai and Asuma with her.

Screaming and shouting and punching could be heard from the other side of the street where Ichiraku was situated.

***

Shizune and Kakashi rounded up Shikaku, Inoichi, Sakura and Jiraiya. It took her only fifteen minutes. They met at the park next to the Yamanaka Flower Shop.

"Ok," asked Sakura. "We're going to be investigating the secrets behind Orochimaru's spy ninjas aren't we, Shizune?"

"That's pretty much it."

"So, that includes Yakushi Kabuto, doesn't it?"

"I'm afraid so."

Shikaku put a hand up. "Do we have any spies in captivity, Shizune?"

"Yes. We can start a brain scan on them."

"Excellent." As everyone knew, Yamanaka Inoichi's forte was scanning brains.

Kakashi spoke from behind his orange book. "So what am I supposed to do?"

Shizune sighed. "You're going to go through missing-nin files with Jiraiya."

Both men groaned in defeat.

"So what're we waiting for? Let's get to it." Sakura punched the air.

"Hold your horses, girl. We need to gather info first." said Shikaku. "How exactly am I gonna be of use? Even Shikamaru is smarter than me these days. Why don't you use him?"

Shizune sighed again. "Shikamaru is one of the examiners of the chuunin exam. He's busy as it is."

"Troublesome." Shikaku sighed, in exact imitation of his son.

***

Meanwhile, somewhere in the Sound Village, Yakushi Kabuto was snoring. Suddenly, he was shaken awake by the Snake Sannin.

"Kabuto, I forget. Did we leave your spy colleagues in Konoha?"

Kabuto's breath was constricted. He started getting panicked. "I-I-I think w-we d-did..."

"Crap." And with that, Orochimaru fainted.

***

It was seven o'clock Konoha time, and Shizune was still busy with paperwork. She heard the door of her office open. 'Crap. I thought Tsunade had already gone to bed.' She sensed the intruder's chakra. 'This chakra isn't like any chakra network I've ever felt!'

As soon as she moved from her desk, she felt a kunai pressed to her neck.

***

Sakura had a bad feeling about her new mission. She had a feeling that Kabuto was probably gonna find out sooner or later. While she was busy making dinner for her and her roommate Tenten, she remembered the old Team 7.

'Sasuke. I wonder how he's doing. Tsunade already told me that she couldn't find any leads on him. I hope he's okay...'

She wasn't paying much attention, and she accidentally cut her finger. Sucking on the blood, she used some chakra to heal it.

"You okay, Sakura? You never cut your finger when you cut vegetables. Is there anything wrong?" asked Tenten.

"N-no. I'm just thinking..."

"Thinking makes you regret past actions, Sakura. You of all people should've known that a long time ago."

"I know, I know. It's just that whenever I do a mission, I just can't keep thinking about...him. It's like some sort of disease."

Tenten put a consoling hand on Sakura's shoulder. "Believe me, Sakura. There will come a time when you will find the right person for you."

***

"K-K-Kakashi?" stammered Shizune. The sharingan user was breathing down her neck. "W-W-What're y-you d-d-doing h-h-h-here?"

The said person smiled. "I was just testing your defenses." He let her go. She sat on a chair, trembling.

"N-N-Never d-d-do that t-to me, e-e-ever a-again." She was trembling violently. The stunt that Kakashi suddenly reminded her all too sickeningly of her uncle Dan. She started crying.

Kakashi didn't know what to do. "I'm sorry, Shizune. I didn't mean, I mean, it was just a joke-" Shizune was still crying. He shut up.

'What would Jiraiya-san do in this situation?' he thought.

Thinking like this was useless. He decided to do the most humanly thing possible.

He hugged her.

She was still trembling. "Shh. Calm down. I'm sorry for hurting you."

Shizune was clutching his jacket. He smelled of spice, fresh trees and cologne. 'Hmm, he smells so sweet,' thought Shizune. Little did she know that she was hugging him real tightly.

Kakashi was surprised by his actions.

The only other time he had hugged a female was when he and Rin were teamed together.

'What's happening to me?'

***

The next morning, Sakura woke up five minutes earlier than the time she put for her alarmclock. Feeling refreshed, she went to go and change.

Combing her hair, she looked at the note Tenten wrote that was posted on the door.

Sakura,

I'm going to visit my aunt in Tanzaku Village. I'll be gone for a week.

This is urgent family business. I hope you'll understand.

-Tenten

Sighing deeply, she went to the bathroom and brushed her teeth.

***

Tsunade was busy at nine in the morning. She had forgotten that they needed a Hyuuga to complete the autopsy.

Thankfully, Neji chose the right moment to show up. "Hello, Hokage-sama."

"Ah, Neji. I'm putting you on a special mission. You'll be conducting research and doing an autopsy with Shizune, Kakashi, Shikaku, Inoichi, Jiraiya and Sakura. Now skidaddle."

"Um, Tsunade?"

"WHAT?"

"What's the research on?"

"Oh.." she looked up from her paperwork. "You'll find out when you see them. Go to room 401 on the fourth floor. Wait until you find your team members."

"Hai."

And with that he left. Sadly enough, Neji only went to the Hokage Tower to ask if he could become an ANBU.

***

Sakura rushed to get out the door. She picked up her weapons pack and locked the apartment door.

As she sped to the Hokage Building, she thought of what Tenten said the other day about finding that special someone.

She didn't realize where she was going until it was too late.

"Sorry, Sakura." said a deep voice.

"N-Neji? What're you doing here?"

"Turns out that Tsunade-san put me on the same mission as you. Fill me in."

Quick as a flash, Sakura pressed a kunai to his neck. "You're NOT Neji." she growled.

Neji had never seen Sakura this frightening before. "S-S-Sakura, i-i-it's me, H-Hyuuga N-Neji."

"If it's really you, then prove it."

And with that, Neji activated his Byakugan and poked Sakura.

"Ow. It's really you. Sorry." Her cheeks were turning pink.

"No problem." He seemed unfazed.

They walked to room 401 in silence. They found that it was unlocked.

"Wanna try to get in?" asked Neji in his boring voice.

"S-sure."

And with that, Neji activated his Byakugan.

"So, what's going on?"

Neji was red in the face, and couldn't look at Sakura properly.

"U-u-um..w-w-we can't g-g-go in.."

"Why?" Sakura was getting angrier by the minute.

"B-B-Because..w-we j-j-just can't."

"THAT'S BULL." Pushing Neji aside, Sakura focused all of her chakra in her hand and broke down the door.

And saw Shizune and Kakashi in a compromising position. Both were naked. Kakashi was about to remove his mask. Sakura closed the door.

"That's why." she said, pink in the face.

TBA

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Sorry, I like torturing you guys. I'll end this chapter here. This mini-mystery isn't finished though.