Because I MISS GEORGE, DAMNIT. And I know Izzie, wherever the fuck she may be, misses him as well.
She Dreams of Nightmares
"Don't you have anything better to do?" He asked her, picking up the feather, inspecting it, then throwing it over his head. He picked up the next one, and went through the same motions.
"Don't you?" She asked, sounding defensive, but none the less, sat down, and started to look through the feathers with him, copying his actions without exactly knowing why.
"No." He looked at her sideways.
"Yeah, I guess I knew that." They were silent for a beat longer. "You know, they kicked us out of the house." She laughed, where it started out high and got lower, like she couldn't believe it. "I mean, I understand he has the hair, but seriously? Does the cancer thing mean nothing to those people."
"Well they did just get married." He sounded reasonable, and inspected another feather a little closer.
"It was a Post-It, for god sakes George! A piece of paper normally used for grocery shopping, or…like taking down messages from unimportant phone calls."
"You only use Post-Its for unimportant phone calls?" He held a new feather, undecipherable from the other ones, close to his face, and threw it behind him again.
"Well, you use the legal pads if it's actually important…but you know that's not the point. The point is a fake-married couple threw the cancer chick and her legally married husband out of their home, so they could have sex on the kitchen countertop…"
"Izzie!" He yelled, dropping the feather to cover his ears.
"Sorry, but you know that entire Mer-crying-during-sex was a long time ago, and I thought you had gotten over it by now…"
"We are not talking about this. I was more referring to the fact I didn't want to hear about them doing McNasty in the McKitchen, so…new topic."
"Right, sorry." Izzie sucked air through her teeth. "Would you like to elaborate about the feathers, because you know, it's a little weird George."
"I am looking for a specific feather for very important business. Business, that very important people do very important things doing…"
"Alright, just because you say very important does not make it very important, in fact it makes it seem like you are lying."
"It does not."
"It does." She said, nodding and smiling sadly.
"It makes it seem like I am trying to convey a point, which I am, which is the feathers are very important." He ended it with emphasis by nodding his head.
"I had a nice wedding." Izzie said.
"And back to you." George mumbled under his breath, still sorting through the feathers.
She ignored him and continued. "I mean, I didn't have hair…but it was perfect. I had planned the perfect wedding."
George reached out to put his hand on her knee. "I know. I was there."
"Right." Izzie said, shaking her head. Sometimes the time got jumbled around here, like she couldn't remember the order of events quite clearly. "But in the end it didn't matter." She looked down now.
"Well I got married by a guy who looked like Elvis, and that didn't work out. So I don't think the ceremony holds much merit with the relationship. Maybe a Post-It was the way to go after all."
"God." Izzie said snorting, then switched to a whole new topic. "I think I got fired at the hospital. Than I came back and just…quit…at everything. I think I quit it after…after Alex said he wouldn't forgive me, but I would forgive him."
"Yeah? Well is it that surprising? Coming from Alex, did you know he gave Olivia…"
"Syphilis. I know George, I remember, and then you go it…huh. But we're divorced now, me and Alex. We survived cancer, and then more cancer, but something happened…I don't remember what it was…" She picked up a feather and twirled it around in her fingers. "I had a patient once, he was a birdwatcher. I bet he would be able to help us with these feathers." She looked at the feather, like it would explain everything to her. Make sense it of all.
"I think…I think I found it Izzie!" He clapped her arm, and picked up a feather, that looked like all the rest of them.
"What's it for again?" She asked him.
"I have to reattach it to the patient." He explained. "It fell off, and they need it back."
"But…won't it just grow back? Don't feathers just regenerate? What type of patient has feathers anyway?"
"A bird." He said it like it was obvious.
Izzie felt the reality around her slipping away.
"But…that doesn't make any sense." She said, getting frustrated. Her outfit was changing, as was the scene around her.
There was a slim woman off to the right of them now, and she was crying. She had short red hair, and was wearing all black. Izzie's own outfit had changed into a black dress and black coat.
Her long blonde hair she had had earlier was replaced by a scarf.
"We're at your funeral George." Izzie said quietly.
"That's just morbid." He said dryly. "Why would you want to go to my funeral again?"
"Well I didn't want to go…"
"We have been over this Izzie, you are in control in your dr-"
"Shut up." She said cutting him off. "We have been over this before. Just shut up." Her voice cracked on the last word.
"I'm sorry Iz…it's just that…"
"Just that what George? Please enlighten me, because you seem to have all of this universal knowledge now, and to tell you the truth…it's not attractive."
"You don't belong here." He said quietly, putting his arm around her.
"Neither do you." Izzie said, trying to cover up the tear rolling down her cheek.
"Maybe." He allowed. "But you need to go back, and stay back. You have to live. You have to be a surgeon. You have to move on. Since I am here,fixing the bird." He waved the feather in her face.
"Whatever." And her tone told him this was the end of the topic. "George, do you remember that divorce lawyer? The one who had all the seizures? And that was when…"
"I was living with Callie and wouldn't tell you where?"
"And I was mad at you, since you wouldn't let me into your life."
"Yeah?"
"Well, that's how I am feeling right now."
"Izzie, I can't let you into my life because I'm not alive."
"Yes you are!" Izzie insisted. She went over to grab George's hand and pressed it against her face. "I can feel you George, I can feel you like you are here!"
"Like I am here, but I'm not Izzie, and you shouldn't be-"
"But if you are here, then I am here. All that's left there is the Meredith-and- Cristina-Dream-Team…and an ex-husband. Hooray."
"You're being stubborn. You have to let go." George looked at her, the way only a best friend could.
"What's going to happen to the bird if you don't reattach that feather?"
"Nothing." He said.
"Well, what will happen if you do?"
"Nothing. This isn't real Izzie, you know that. It's just a way to fill up the time." George's voice was getting more and more faint.
The scene switched again. This time Izzie was in a wheel chair, she was looking at herself and a mangled corpse. There was a beeping in the background.
"And nobody recognized me." He said, sounding annoyed. "It's like the dog incident all over again."
Izzie stared at this scene a little longer than usual.
"I wish she would have gotten hit by the bus." Izzie sounded bitter.
"Are we on this one again?" He asked, toying with the feather in his hand.
"I wish you weren't such a freaking moron and you would have just…just…"
"Let it go Izzie, she was somebody's person too."
"But what about me? What about what I need? What about how I needed you?" Izzie was almost yelling now, and the tears were falling faster. It felt like déjà vu.
George looked up, he was growing lighter.
"Wait George, I'm sorry, alright? If you stay…I'll do your charts for a month!"
"Bye Izzie." He was wearing a military uniform now, and she was back in that goddamn prom dress, how was it no matter what happened she always seemed to end up back in that dress?
"Please, George, don't leave me, please stay." She said, sounding desperate.
George's smiled sadly. "Good-bye."
"I hate you!" She called, after realizing he really was leaving.
Izzie was alone. Again.
She woke with a jolt.
Cars behind the park were still zooming by, despite the 4:48 AM time.
She laid pack down on the pillows with a thud. Izzie began whispering frantically, almost, not quite but almost, believing what she was saying.
"I hate you. I hate you, IhateyouIhateyouIhateyou…"