( I wrote this from the top of my head, just after editing " Slayers Live: Something Really Irrelevant!" while listening to the song " Love Letter From China" from Ranma 1/2. If you've ever heard it, I think you're hiding somewhere in a hole in your backyard, rocking yourself gently back and forth, chanting "Find a happy place, find a happy place" over and over again… This story is dedicated to my friend Mark, who thinks he's Dilandou, which, (as he would say,) would technically make him God… /('))
(***
Slayers Messed Up
" A 'Man' Who Cain't Get No Real Lovin' "
By: Tamoko Sanjii
Gaav's face turned ashen while on the phone late one afternoon.
" Wha-… what are you…saying?" He asked in an innocent, trembling voice. Quietly listening, the Demon Drag Queen from the Southwest ( or as all you would say, " Demon Dragon King,") slowly fell against the magenta painted wall, sliding down until his (*cHoUuGgEh*) ass hit the carnation pink carpeted floor.
" YOU'RE BREAKING UP WITH ME?!" The sad voice echoed through the empty halls of " Big Gay Gaav's Big Gay Gay Pimping House."
" But…Shabranigdu…WHY?" Gaav cried, " WHY?! I DID EVERYTHING YOU EVER ASKED ME TO! I DID YOUR LAUNDRY, EVEN WHILE FINDING YOUR THONG! I MADE YOUR MEALS EVERYDAY, ALL 7,124 OF THEM!" He covered his forehead with his shaking hand.
" I EVEN BATHED YOU ONCE A MONTH!" Tears starting running down his dark face.
" AND THIS IS HOW YOU THANK ME?! WHY?!?!…….."
He waited just a moment more.
" Well, I hope you and DORNKIRK-SAMA are VERY happy! GOOD BYE SHABRANIGDU! NEVER AGAIN WILL YOU SEE A SMILE ON MY (cUoGuLgYh) FACE!" With that being said, Gaav angrily slammed the phone down onto the Mickey Mouse receiver. He was upset. Devastated. Pissed off. ( But most of all, Gaav was…Gaav.)
" Oh…SHABRANIGDU!" The demon ran to his room, crying hysterically. " SHABRANIGDU! I LOVED YOU!!"
Phibrizzo peaked around the corner from the kitchen curiously. He'd known that Gaav and Shabranigdu were having SOME problems lately, but not anything like this.
" Gaav…?" He called, not getting a response. The manzoku walked down the hall, while untying the " Kiss the Manzoku" apron he was wearing while preparing their annual Friday afternoon popcorn. ( Actually, Phibrizzo wore this apron all the time around Gaav.)
He came to the door which said, " To Wong Fuu, Thanks for Everything, Julie Numar is the bestest movie ever" on it. Gaav's crying had been muffled.
Must be crying in his pillow, the poor guy…
" Gaav?" Phibrizzo rapped on the door slightly. " Gaav, what's wrong?"
" GO AWAY!" He screamed back.
" But Gaav, it's me…I'm going to come in…" The short purple haired manzoku opened the door slowly, revealing Gaav laying there on his bed, clutching a pillow close to his chest. He coolly approached him, trying to keep a comforting smile.
" OH PHIBRIZZOOOOOO!"
" Shhh…it's okay, just tell me what happened…" he cooed, " tell me all about it."
" IT WAS HORRIBLE! HORRIBLE! SHABRANIGDU! He….he…"
" He…?"
" BROKE UP WITH ME!!!!!!!!!!!"
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( Ooooom….*looks at you, the reader* That was a tiny bit messed up, don't you think so? It's really funny once you're in on the joke, lmfao! I'll write some more, it's 10 PM. and I need to get off the computer now so AU REVOIR! Btw- Be on the look out for Slayers and Sesame Street stories, those are frickin' funny! I'll type a couple up soon! ^,~)