The Big Time

One Shot

"Ok, Jake. This is it! This is your shot to be all you wished to be!" Judai said with his arm on Jacob's shoulder. He is a director of the newest Star Wars movie. Jacob had the part of Luke.

"But I gotta ask ya, do ya want it?"

"Sure…" He said awkwardly. He noticed how unusually close Judai was to his face.

"I know, but do ya want it bad?" Judai asked.

"Sure…?"

"Do you wanna kiss!?"

"What?!"

"Do you want it, kid?!" Jacob leaned back and away from Judai with a suspicious look.

"Yeah…can we just get on with it!?"

"Ok, ok. Just stand over there and look handsome."

"What?!"

"I said stand over there and look awesome! Man, what's up with you today?" Judai then glanced over at Edward, who had the part of Darth Vader. He walked pass as Judai began to give him seductive eyes.

"Why, hello Edward." He said with a smile. "Or should I say, Darth Vader." He then winked at him.

"Hi…" He walked by him with a strange look.

"Oh I just adore that sexy swagger!" Judai exclaimed. Edward made a double take as he began to rush away.

"Oppsy, said it out loud." Judai said as he inched away. "Ok, people! Let's get this started, ok! We gotta do this before my birthday! Because we all know, that's when it comes out! Places!" He clapped as everyone needed got on the set. They were rehearsing before recording the real thing. Judai then sat in his pink and blue bedazzled director chair with his matching megaphone. He crossed his legs as he sat and shouted,

"Action!" It was the part when Luke introduced himself to the captain of the ship.

"Who are you?" Asked the captain while reading the script.

"My name is Luke…" Jacob said. "Luke…wait, what?!"

"Cut!" Judai shouted. He then got up and walked over to Jacob.

"What's the matter, babe?" He asked.

"What!?"

"What's the matter, Jake?"

"May I ask, what in all blue-hell kind of name is this!?" He pointed to Luke's last name in the script.

"I made it up!" Judai said cheerfully.

"Luke Bangmegood?" Jacob asked with a confused look. "Really?" The others on the set began to chuckle and giggle at the name. Judai sighed happily at it.

"Doesn't it make you tingle?" He asked. Jacob then slowly turned to face Judai with an annoyed glare.

"No!" He exclaimed. Judai rolled his eyes and began to clap again.

"Ok people! Let's skip to Darth Vader Vs. Luke Bangmegood!" He shouted. After they all got into costume, they got in their places. All except Edward, who did not come out of his dressing room.

"Come on, Darth! We need you for this part!" Judai said as he knocked.

"Who is the costume designer?!" He asked, somewhat enraged. Judai laughed nervously.

"Why do you ask?"

"Because when I find out who it is, I'm gonna really shove this God-forsaken outfit down their throat!"

"Oh come on! I'm sure it's not that bad."

"Since when in all perfect-f*ck did Darth Vader wear a f*ing G-string!?"

"Since I became a director damnit! Now get out here and shake your money maker, mister!" Edward inched out the door wearing nothing but a black g-string, the Darth Vader helmet, and a cape. Guess who's idea that was…-_-

"You will be hearing from my lawyer!" He growled as he pointed at him.

"Yeah, yeah, boo-hoo, let's get this part nailed." Judai pranced over to his bedazzled chair and waited for Edward to get in his place. Jacob tried his hardest not to burst in laughter.

"From the top, action!"

"Damn you, Darth! Why are you doing this to the empire!?" Jacob asked.

"It's my empire; I can do what ever I want with it!" Edward said in the perfect Darth Vader voice.

"Fine then, I guess I have no choice but to accept…you for the evil devil you are…?"

"What are you saying, Bangmegood?"

"I'm saying that…I…" Both Jacob and Edward went silent as they read the script.

"What?!" They both shouted.

"Ughh, cut!!!" Judai shouted as he stood up. "What's the problem now?"

"I don't remember Luke telling Darth Vader, "I want you." And then forcefully kissing him passionately!"

"It's bad enough I have to wear this David Hasselhoff outfit!" Edward shouted as he snatched off his helmet. "But there is no what in all gay hell I'm gonna be seen on the big screen making-out with a guy who thinks Paris Hilton is a hotel for crack-heads in France!" Suddenly, someone came storming in.

"What is this!?" The person shouted.

"Houe!" Judai exclaimed. "Darling…uh…what are you doing here?"

"Catching you in a lie!" He shouted pointing at him. "You told me that you were going out to bye me some milk and cookies for my cravings!" In case you haven't noticed, Houe is pregnant with Judai's 3rd child.

"But instead, I catch you running a male brothel!"

"Whoa, whoa, buddy," Jacob stepped up.

"I'm not gay, first of all."

"Oh yeah? Prove it!" He then looked around for any kind of girl. He snatched a girl who was walking by but froze before they got an inch closer. He grabbed no one other than Bella.

"Oh hell no!" He shoved her away as she landed on the snack table. He then snatched a dark-skinned girl and kissed her hard to make his point.

"See!? I'm not gay!"

"Ok…well what about…" Houe began to stare at Edward. "Him?" He started to play with his hair as he gazed at him. Judai looked back and forth between him and Edward.

"Houe!" He shouted. "How dare you stare!?"

"Well excuse me if there's a half-naked hot vampire in a g-string in front of me!"

"That's it! I quit!" Edward through the cape and stormed out. After a long awkward silence, he came back to grab his trench coat and leave again.

"Yeah, I quit too." Jacob just walked out. Suddenly, the whole room began to empty itself leaving Houe and Judai alone. They stared at each other for a long moment before Houe began to give him an evil seductive look.

"Oh no…" Judai said backing up. "Not the look. God, please anything but the look!" He then began to give him the "Come here." Finger. Judai shook his head. Before long, Houe just pounced on him and stripped him down breaking everything in sight.