Kingdom Hearts: Chain of Memories characters belong to Square Enix and Disney. The ideas and feelings are my own. I dedicate this to my Marluxia and my Roxas. I love them both!
My addiction
It's like a drug, and addictive one. The more I think or touch it the more I want it. Touch, taste, smell, hear; it excites me, gives me the feeling of being whole. I found myself drawn to it in a horrid fascination. It left me feeling powerful, wanted...no not wanted needed. Never in my life would I have thought that I would be needed. I liked it. I start to notice it moving further and further away from me, away from the things that I want. The more it pulled away the tighter I held on. I was lost in its intoxication's, wanting it more and more. It left me in despair; I didn't know what to think. Without it I feel lonely and abandoned, not wanted. I became insecure about it, about myself.
The question I have, my struggle is should I open myself to it again? I want it and need it so much but can I trust it again? I can not imagine a day without it. It seems foreign, unreal without it. Turns my world inside out leaving me confused. I have grown so used to it that my life no longer feels real, or has any purpose without it. I need it, I have to be the one with the power. I am hopeless without it. Why else would I be here if it wasn't for it? I live for it, I need it as much as it needs me.
I will do anything in my power to have it again. I don't like the empty feeling. I want to have and hold it again. To be complete, be one again with it. I crave its touch, I long to feel it. To caress the body, be engulfed in the warmth. Feel its protective embrace around me. It is my shelter, my strength. I don't know what will come of this but I know with my whole body and soul that this is what I want so much. If this meeting happens again I will succumb to it. Be one with it again.