Ok, this is my first
ever fic in the first person please be kind, I'm new at this (Heck, I
tend to refer to MYSELF in the third person, so you know it was tough
lol) I'm really not sure where this came from So
I'm just gonna let my muse go with it, and be glad I got a fic out of the deal
lol Oh, and obviously, Trigun does not belong to me...
If it did, it would have lasted longer (Kenshin! Kenshin!) ;-}
C&C welcome, as always. Please enjoy.
~Lady Karasu
'Spork no Miko'
Awakening
I'm not entirely sure what woke me. For a few long moments I stared up at the dark
ceiling as my sleepy mind tried to figure out what had interrupted its dreams. I think it was a sound but I couldn't
quite place it now.
I turned my head to inspect the room, but there
didn't seem to be a source for the disturbence.
Moonlight's gentle fingers touched most of the room, lending an ambient bluish
light to everything. Milly slept peacefully
in the bed across from mine; not even a whisper escaping her as her chest gently rose and
fell. No, the noise didn't seem to be
from here
Perhaps it was..?
There it was again. Just a muffled
sound
That woke me up? I sat up and shifted on
the bed quietly, wondering how something so faint had managed to pull me from my
dreams. Sighing, I pulled my legs around to stand, but in a moment of recoil snatched my feet back from
the floorboards. They were shockingly cold on
my sleep-warmed body. I sat there for a few
moments, debating on whether or not to just go back to sleep, but something was nagging at
the back of my mind. Some feeling that I
can't quite describe. With a small sigh
of resignation, I steeled myself for a chill, and gingerly touched the floor again. Gratefully, it wasn't quite so bad this time.
Rising, I padded as quietly as I could manage
to the door adjoining our room with Vash's. A
loose board creaked a loud protest at my weight and I froze, hoping I didn't wake
anyone. After waiting a span of heartbeats I
moved again, stepping lighter than before. Carefully,
I crept up to the door and listened.
Yes, that's where the sound was coming
from. Strangely, I realized that disturbance
came with that realization. Suddenly I felt
the need to check on our resident pain. I
tested the knob, and found the door to be unlocked.
Now in retrospect, I realize it was probably not
the most intelligent thing in the world to sneak into the room of what was probably the
most skilled gunman of our time particularly
with half the planet after the bounty on his head. [Nor
was it likely to gain me any points with him.] But
at the moment, curiosity won over caution, so I moved on.
I nudged the door gently, and it opened on
silent hinges. Thanking whatever fates had
chosen to be kind to me tonight, I cautiously poked my head into the room, wary of flying
projectiles of any sort
I could make out Vash's form where he still
slept. He lay in the middle of the bed, curled in on himself; clutching his pillow
to his chest, yet still managing to rest his head on one corner.
I could just make out his features in the pale
moonlight
As I looked him over, I could almost feel my
heart clench in my chest. His face there was a look of such overwhelming sorrow
playing on his features... it was so raw and pained, and yet somehow, subdued and
helpless at the same time.
I don't think I'll ever forget that
look.
I could tell from there, that he was crying
quietly. The light that reached into the room
played on the moist tracks running down his face. His
body moved with the uneven breathing patterns that caused.
It had stopped me dead cold. It's not as if I had never seen him cry
before, or even look sad, but somehow, with his features relaxed by sleep and his guard
down- the look on his face physically hurt me. I
could feel my heart wretch with every muffled sob he took.
A few moments later, I felt something tickle my cheek. Reaching up to brush it away, I found sympathetic
tears of my own.
I found myself moving forward automatically. I wasn't sure what I was going to do, but I
went with the feeling. My wandering feet
carried me to the head of his bed, just above where he lay.
I could swear I heard him whimper a name something like Lem? Or Rem perhaps?
Even now, I'm not sure why, but I found
myself slipping into the open bedspace above him. Curling my legs beneath myself, I
tentatively reached out and took his shoulders. I
pulled him half into my lap, cradling his head and shoulders. It just felt like the right thing to do.
He never awoke, but on some level he apparently
noticed me. He shifted in my lap, nuzzling
his face into my stomach and reaching an arm around my waist in a sleepy half embrace. I froze for a moment, suprised perhaps? I
don't know, but the feeling passed. I smiled down at him and gently stroked
back his bangs.
Its funny how much of a change that simple act
had for him. After only a short time like
this, he seemed completely calm. The features
on his face, no longer tight and pained; he now slept evenly; nothing but a content look
on his beautifully innocent face.
Does he know how beautiful he is?' I mused to myself, watching him sleep. Not his body, although contrary to what
he may think, I still think he's quite handsome.' I blinked.
The realization of that thought took me back a bit. I shook my head again
with a slight smile. 'Yes, he is handsome, but...' I finished my
original thought, ' I meant for who he is
he has got to have the most beautiful soul I've ever seen'
I smiled down on him, taking in that rare look
of peace as I continued to gently stoke back his hair.
I found myself whispering to him softly, Its alright now, I'm here with
you. I won't let anything hurt you
now
We stayed like that for most of the night. He finally slept soundly, and I simply held him. There was a strange contentment that came with
that perhaps one day I'll understand it.
Some time after it had begun to get light, a
thought occurred to me. I suddenly
didn't think it would be a good idea for him to know what had happened here
tonight it just struck me as something
too personal to have to share; like I had intruded upon some sacred space he kept only for
himself
In his case, somewhere like pergatory, but
still...
No, he didn't need to know, but I think I
may not have had the guts to face him in the morning either. I'm not sure how he'd react, or if I
could take the questions or look I was sure to get
So for reasons both selfish and compassionate, sometime before dawn I removed
myself from his delicate embrace, and returned to my own dreams.
Morning came too soon, and with it, the memory
of last night. Absently, I watched Vash
scrambling to get his things together. Not
that he really carried that much
Even as my eyes watched the activity in our
shared room, my mind strayed back to the events of the night before. I'm not
sure if I'll ever look at him quite the same way again I can't quite think him the fool I was always
inclined to see him as. I may know no more
about his past, but I definitely have a better grip on who he is now. In the
longrun, that may make my job harder...
I came back to myself to realize the object of
my attention had stopped flying around the room and now stood watching me watch him.
He had apparently noticing me standing in the doorway staring for all I was worth. I
blushed slightly, turning my head in embaresment. How could I have let my mind
wander like that? I looked back up with a touch of timidy I hadn't had in some time,
to see if he still watched me. It was only fair really, but it made me decidedly
uncomfortable. It was like he could see right through me...
I somehow managed to force myself to meet his
eyes, intent on apologising for my rudness- but the words died in my throat. He had
looked at me as if her were weighing something in his mind, then, he gave me a precious
gift. He smiled. Not one of those hollow smiles he shows the world,
but a true unguarded smile.
I don't think I'll ever forget that
look either.
~Owari~
I'm not sure if I like how
this came out... it seems likesomething's missing to me, but I can't put my finger on it.
If you have any suggestions, they are welcome. ^_~ karasu@ladykarasu.com There's
supposed to be a sequil to this... but I'm not sure where I'm going with it yet. My
muse simply informed me that it's coming. ^_^
www.ladykarasu.com |
