Moldymort's Top Ten Guilty Pleasures
1. Muggle TV's Real Housewives Series (Except for New Jersey). So much anger and soul satisfying snarkiness. New Jersey's Housewives could be used to keep the Dementors in line, and I would happily pay galleons to see that.
2. My extensive Yodeling record collection complete with the cute Lederhosen outfit for the times I actually have a corporal form.
3. Muggle movie - "Whatever Happened To Baby Jane?" Baby Jane could give Bellatrix a few lessons on hair and makeup. In return, Bellatrix could teach Baby Jane the true meaning of torture. Then again, I don't really want to deal with two Bellas.
4. Day at The Whole Wizard Spa and Body Center. It's too bad that repeated obliviation spells cause the masseuse to lose the memory of their skills along with my identity. Annoyingly, this results in constant retraining of a new masseuse after a dozen visits or so to my individual preferences.
5. Ben & Jerry's Cherry Garcia Ice Cream - Offered on Fortescue's Ice Creams of the World menu. There is nothing like putting my feet up and downing a pint after a long day of throwing Cruciatus and Sectum Sempra curses.
6. Weasley's "Pranking For Dummies" (Self-Published with bonus tear out of "The Umbridge Strategy.") - What a sad loss to the dark side! All that intelligence and innovative thinking wasted on harmless, although ingenious, jokes.
7. Hamburger Happy Meal at McDonalds - A muggle fast food restaurant that proves, along with the ice cream, that muggles can get it right sometimes. Please McD's no dolls in big dresses because their voices are annoying and they act like idiots. Hmmm... Although, I could use them for Cruciatus practice.
8. Butterbeer - For taking the edge off my nerves without slowing the skills as Fire Whiskey would do.
9. Wizard Weekly's "100 Most Alluring & Naughty Witches of the 20th Century.
10. Muggle Hide and Seek game - If six year old muggles can catch on, why can't my Death Eaters? Sure Malfoy Manor is huge, but after a day shouldn't one of them have found me?