Our last night in purgatory
Dean's legs felt numb as he continued walking through the dark forests of purgatory. He needed rest, badly. He hadn't slept once since finding Cass, mostly due to the never ending onslaught of monsters the angel attracted, but partially because a little part of him was afraid Cass would disappear again. Benny and Cass both seemed to be fine but Dean was struggling with the exhaustion. They had just fought off a couple of werewolves but other than them they had seen relatively few monsters that night. In fact, Dean had noticed that the woods surrounding them were quiet which meant they were safe for three or four hours, maybe.
'Guys,' Dean stopped. 'Please, we need to stop.' Benny and Cass turned, both staring quizzically at the slumped over mess before them.
'And why would we do that?' Benny asked, lightly surveying their surroundings with his eyes.
'I need rest. Just one or two hours tops, please.' Dean begged. Cass and Benny shared a brief look.
'I sense no other being in the immediate area. Since neither Benny nor I require rest, we should be able to watch over you while you sleep.' Cass said. Benny scoffed.
'Two hours just me and you? No thanks. I'll just go look for something to eat or something. I'll be back in an hour or so.'
As Benny walked away, Dean removed his coat and folded it into a makeshift pillow. He placed it at the base of a tree and lay down on his side, resting his head. Cass sat in front of Dean, his back to Dean's front. Dean breathed in and closed his eyes. He felt safe behind Castiel, and more comfortable than he'd felt all year and yet he couldn't sleep. According to Benny they were close to the portal that could send them all back home which meant that Dean could be back on earth by tomorrow. The thought of sleeping in a proper bed or for more than an hour excited him. The idea of not being bombarded with monsters and being able to interact with other humans made him feel even more serene. He decided to let the near silent sound of Cass' breathing soothe him to sleep.
A few minutes later, Cass spoke.
'Dean,' The low rumble of his voice drew Dean away from his day dreams of pie and cheeseburgers, 'are you awake?'
'Yeah, Cass,' Dean mumbled. 'What is it?'
'I just... I want you to know. About tomorrow-'
'Stop, Cass. Just stop.' Dean grumbled sitting up.
'What?'
'Look I know you don't think we'll make it tomorrow. But damn it Cass I will get you through to the other side if its the last goddamn thing I do.' Dean was standing now, looking down at the sulking angel.
'But Dean-' Cass started up again, slowly rising to face Dean. He had to tell him, he had to let him know the truth.
'No, Cass. I have spent most of my time here looking for you and I missed you so much. I can't leave here without you, I won't abandon you, okay?' Dean stepped closer. 'Cass you're like family to me and I... I love you, man.' Dean put his hand on the back of Cass' neck, pulling their foreheads together with a light bump. 'You're like a brother to me, Cass. And I can't lose any more family, not after everyone else.' Dean looked longingly into Castiel's eyes. He hand intended the hand on the angel's neck to be a brotherly gesture, yet it felt very intimate too. It alarmed Dean that he felt completely comfortable in this position. It didn't help when Cass put his arms around Dean's waist, mistaking his gesture for some kind of hug. Dean was about to pull away when Cass spoke again.
'Dean you know my feelings towards you are the same. I'll do everything in my power to get you home safely. But...' The angel looked down, still holding onto Deans waist, and shuffled his feet lightly. He couldn't do it. He knew he didn't deserve to leave and he didn't really want to. He just couldn't find the words to tell him, even though he had to. He set his jaw and looked up with determination. He needed to say it. It was now or never. But as his head moved up, his lips brushed lightly past Dean's, almost imperceptibly, yet noticed sharply by both of them. And then suddenly Castiel needed something else. He needed something softer and pinker. He needed the lips of the man standing before him pressed against his own.
For a second they were both still, eyes locked and both silently asking permission from the other. And then Dean couldn't bare it. He was too tired to wait anymore so he took Cass' lips with his own. It was rough; they were both quite dehydrated. Dean, ever impatient, moved first and Castiel complied and shortly followed, slightly unsure of what to do. Dean moved his other hand to the back of Cass' neck, using both to play with the short hairs at the back of his head. It's just a kiss, Dean thought to himself, letting himself feel content for the moment.
It was just a kiss until it wasn't. Until it was a hot mess of dry tongues rubbing together roughly, battling for dominance. Hands grabbed anywhere and everywhere, pulling their bodies impossibly closer. Hips ground into eachother, granting the sweetest friction to their aching groins. Dean kissed along Castiel's jaw, moving down to his neck. Cass panted, his hands in Dean's hair pushing him further into his throat.
'God, Cass.' Dean moaned, his low voice rumbling against Cass' shoulder. Cass whimpered in response, pulling Dean's head up again to kiss him.
'Dean,' Cass said against Dean's lips. 'Dean, Dean, Dean.' He repeated his name, fisting his t-shirt almost ripping it. Everything was Dean and Castiel was in heaven, figuratively speaking. He was drowning in Dean, getting lost in the feel of their bodies pressed together, his strong, stubbled jaw moving against Cass' bearded one.
Dean himself felt ecstasy. He was finally releasing all this pent up sexual frustration that he'd unknowingly been harbouring towards Cass. It took all his will power not to throw the angel to the ground and take him. But Dean didn't because aside from being too tired, he really didn't want to get too intimate in purgatory of all places. But the roughness of it all, the desperation felt by both men, kissing so hard they were bruising eachother, drawing blood. Dean could taste it all, all those months of fighting, killing, bleeding and struggling all accumulating in this one moment. He could taste it all over Castiel; on his lips, on his cheeks, on his neck. It felt right; it felt pure.
'Dean... I need... I need,' Castiel panted. The feel of their hips grinding together was stirring something inside of him, and well, he wanted to be inside something – or rather someone – else. He tugged on Dean's shirt, trying desperately to pull it off without tearing it.
'I know Cass, I know. But not here. Not now.' Dean slowed his movements on Cass' neck. With exhaustion getting the best of him Dean reluctantly pulled away. He was out of breath, panting but smiling more brightly than he had all year.
'Wow, Cass, that was...' Dean trailed off. The angel had that sad glint in his eye again. 'Hey, look at me,' he said lifting his chin up with his finger, 'Cass tomorrow you and me, we're gonna get through that portal, okay? And we'll continue this, whatever this is,' Dean searched Castiel's blue eyes for some form of compliance or understanding but found none. 'Cass you gotta promise me you'll try. Please, for me.'
'Dean I-' Cass' voice broke. He still needed to tell dean but he couldn't find the words.
'Please, Cass. And I'm not taking no for an answer.' Castiel looked into his eyes.
'Then I won't say no,' Castiel stroked Dean's cheek before half-smiling. 'Now you should get some rest.'
And with that Dean lay down and sighed. He was too tired to contemplate his sexuality or figure out what that kiss meant. No, he would rather lay there quietly listening to the slow rise and fall of Castiel's breathing. Castiel sat again, only facing Dean this time. He watched as Dean fell asleep silently wishing he could curl up next to him there and every night for eternity.