**This is an updated version of this story. I just reread through it and did some revision. Thanks for reading!**
'Cause you were just a small bump unborn,
for four months then torn from life.
'Maybe you were needed up there
but we're still unaware as why.
Small Bump - Ed Sheeran
It had only been four months. Four months then everything fell apart.
Killian could hear Emma crying and it broke his heart.
"Just get out" He had heard Emma scream at the technician and Killian watched the lady hurry from the room and down the hall. Since then she was just crying and didn't want to be comforted, even by Killian.
"Killian. How is she?" Snow asked quietly when she finally got there and Killian shook his head. His own eyes were teary and Charming motioned for Snow to go in the room for Emma before embracing his son in law.
Charming began to hear the heavy grief-stricken sobs from the other man and Charming patted him lightly on the back.
"She was bleeding so much." Killian grumbled and Charming listened. "I brought her here and that's when they told her. But she needed proof."
"So they did an ultrasound?" Charming questioned and Killian nodded. "I'm sorry. This is just terrible."
"Killian, Emma wants to leave" Snow said gently and Killian pulled away before wiping at his eyes and got his composure back before walking into the room that felt heavy with grief.
Emma sat with her jacket on and her hair was tangled. Her cheeks and eyes were red and Killian just wanted to hug her. To take her in his arms and have them grieve together until the pain ebbed away.
She only allowed him to take her hand and even denied a chaste kiss to the cheek. Killian led her out of the room and they walked with Charming and Snow out of the hospital.
"We'll see you tomorrow. Don't hesitate to call if you need us though" Snow said softly and Emma nodded. Then they both left in separate directions.
At home, Emma waited as Killian pulled the sheets off the bed that were ruined. He gave small thanks to see the bed spared. Killian pulled the new sheets on and placed the ruined blankets and sheets in the trash. He was happy that it was a spare set and not their favorite bedding. Emma mumbled about taking a shower and Killian waited at the door.
It was ten minutes before he heard the sobs and he pushed into the room and stripped off his clothes.
Slipping in the shower, he held her crumbling body to his. He did not cry himself because he knew she needed this. But every cry was stronger than the last and made Killian's heart ache. The water stopped turning red when finally her skin was clean of the evidence but the ache was still there. His fingers rubbed her back comfortingly and slowly eased her out of her cries.
After she was done, he made sure to prepare her night clothes and then remembered the doctor discreetly telling him that the next few days would be like a period. So he prepared her underwear as well and helped her get dressed.
"Thank you." Emma whispered and Killian helped her out to the bedroom. She sat waiting while Killian got dressed.
"I'm going to brush your hair." Killian mumbled to her and Emma nodded, numb to her emotions. She didn't want to feel this way. This grief was overwhelming to say the least. Killian sat down next to her and began gently brushing out the tangles out of her tresses. He kissed her ear soflty while pulling her wet hair into a manageable ponytail. "Lay down, Emma"
She laid down on the bed and closed her eyes to feel a fluffy blanket be draped over her. Emma watched as Killian laid down and went under the thick blanket with her.
"Why us?" Emma wondered in a light cry and Killian looked at her. "Why our child?"
"Emma, I don't know" Killian mumbled, tears lacing his words but he knew he had to be strong for her.
He cuddled her and felt her fall asleep before he allowed a few minutes to let some of his own tears go. He laid there silently crying and just holding his wife. His wife, who just hours ago had a baby growing in her.
She still had her small bump and that added fuel to the flame. Killian wished it was gone, for it to stop lying to him. Somehow he felt like it was him. He was damaged, how could it be Emma's fault? She had a child before, and Killian didn't have any.
He finally gave up and fell asleep. That also proved itself cruel because his dreams slowly turned to nightmares of a baby that would never see the world.
Killian woke up to Emma crying and he pulled her in close, comforting her. They were in for a long night.
It was days before Emma was back walking around and Killian tried not to let her notice how much he was hurting. She didn't need his grief on top of hers. He once woke up to the smell of breakfast and he forced himself out of bed. She watched him eat, beaming at the work she did. She was proud that she was feeling better.
"You like it?" Emma questioned, hopeful.
"You should know! You watched me the whole bloody time" Killian snapped and Emma's face dropped. He slammed the plate in the sink and ignored the shaky breath his wife released.
"Killian, I was thinking. Maybe in a month, we could try again." Emma asked, nervously. Killian turned on her and growled.
"You just lost this one! You really think we need to go through that again!" Killian hissed and Emma jumped as if she had been slapped.
"What the fuck is your problem?!" Emma snapped and Killian gruffed before heading to their bedroom and slamming the door.
Emma texted Snow all day, trying to figure out if her mother knew what could be wrong. Her mother mentioned how he might still be grieving, so Emma went in to try and comfort her own husband.
She gently stroked his back, but soon he grew irritated and rolled away from her.
"Just don't touch me" Killian grumbled and Emma sat looking at him.
"Killian, I know you are still upset." Emma mumbled. "We should have grieved together, I thought that was what we were doing. You should have cried with me. Killian, please don't push me away."
"Why not?" Killian hissed and Emma closed her eyes, preventing tears.
"We are married, we need to be strong." Emma tried and reached for his hand. "Please tell me, why are you so mad and upset?"
"Just find someone who can give you children. It's not me" Killian rolled over, facing away from her and Emma let out a cry.
"I'm not leaving you. Killian tell me what's wrong?" Emma begged. She waited for his answer but it was quiet. She just laid down and looked at his back.
It was almost an hour before the silence was broken
"I'm the screw up. You lost the baby because of me."
"What?" Emma asked, shocked by his confession.
"I've had unprotected sex before and never once had a child. Never once! It was my fault you miscarried." Killian cried and Emma was shocked to hear him crying. He's never cried in front of her. She scooted closer and placed a kiss on the back of his neck.
"You are wrong. Killian, they said I miscarried because there was an imbalance. I can have children, you can have children. That baby was just not going to be carried into this world alive." Emma whispered and Killian rolled over and buried his face against her neck. She soothed him as he cried and this night was very much like the first except, she comforted him.
This was a short story idea that I wanted to write up.
Thank you for reading and Review.