-1So, after Kira dies, Near uses the Deathnote to kill Mikami, so that's how Mikami dies. Then, he goes all awesome crazy and kills some other people because the Deathnote is awesome.

Some other stuff happens and more people die and Near becomes the new Kira. Then, this anti-shinigami named Kuyr comes and gives Kira-Near something called the Lifenote. The Lifenote brings people back to life, so Near brings Mello back to life and they had mad hot buttsecks. Then Near brought Mikami back to life, but then killed him again because he didn't like Mikami much and it turned out that Mikami also happened to be a successor of L but became corrupted and instead followed the path of Kira and justice and stuff.

Then Near brought L back and they had a threesome with Mello that opened some strange portal to the past which they all fell through.

In the past, Kira was pregnant with L's child because Kira is actually a hermaphrodite. So then Near was born and Ryuk was the godfather. And then Kira est mange une pomme de terre parce qu'il est chaud.

So then they went back to the present and Near brings Raito back and Raito's all, "Argh! I'm alive, desu! Thank you, Near-chan, desu!"

Then he killed more people with the Deathnote and they died. They died good. Then Near was like, "Why, Kira? Why must you kill people?" Even though he was, like, killing people, too.

Then Raito was all, "I DON'T KNOW WHICH BATHROOM TO USE!! DESUUUUUUUU!!!!!!1" then he cried and cried until forever.

So then Near was like, "Hey Kira! Let's have a foursome with Eru-chan!"

And Raito was like, "OKAY DESU."

L was like, "But that's, like, pedophilia and, like, incest and stuff," and then he proceeded to scarf down a box of Twinkies.

"Incest is awesome!" said Near.

"I brought the camera!" says Mello.

And Matt is suddenly alive and brings Mello his camera because Matt is really high tech and super hott and has a bunch of cool stuff like cameras. So they all have buttsecks and Misa-Misa comes in and is so shocked that she dies because I don't really like her character and think that she interferes with Raito and L having buttsecks and stuff. First, though, she takes some pictures before she dies.

The buttsecks between Near, L, and Raito somehow raises the dead--and Mikami--called the Mikami Zombie Buttsecks Army--or MZBA for short--and they all had Mikami glasses. Then the zombies buttsecksed the living until they died and became zombies themselves. Ryuk flies above them as they buttsecks the world.

"Humans are so interesting."

The End.