Title: What
If?
Author: Bandbi
Rating: T
Prompt: Blue
Pairing(S):
House/Cameron (like I would write anything else.. duh!)
Summary:
(if desired) I don't know… just read it please!
This was done in response to a challenge at the House Forum… the prompt was 'blue'
Dedication(s): For CausticChick… thanks for coming up with this challenge (I put a little something special in there just for you! AND For BeeBee… just because!
What If…
House had worked late. Well he had been at the hospital late. He hadn't necessarily worked. He had been sitting in his office brooding. Cameron. That's what he had been thinking about.
Cameron was driving him crazy. Ever since they had been on their disastrous date, she was always on his mind. Well, if he was honest with himself, she had been on his mind for a lot longer.
He did like her, even though he had lied to her about it. House couldn't bring himself to give in to her.
He couldn't stop thinking about the what ifs.
What if… she didn't have just a crush
What if… he could have told her that he liked her
What if… he had told her how he really felt
What if… he gave her a chance and let her in
What if… What if… What if…
With a heavy sigh, he got up from behind his desk and started to leave. He noticed that the light was on in the conference room. Intending to shut out the light, he entered the room and saw the object of his brooding at the large table.
"You're here late." He said softly.
She jumped at the sound of his voice and turned to look at him.
"I didn't feel like going home just yet." She shrugged and turned back to what she was working on. "Have a nice night House."
He watched her for a moment. There was a piece of paper in front of her and every few seconds she would write on it.
After a moment, he saw her grip her pen tightly and write furiously with harsh, firm strokes. He wondered what she was doing. He wondered if he asked, would she tell the truth. Finally, House decided that he couldn't stand to have another 'what if' to ponder. He moved towards her and sat down next to her. She lifted her head to look at him with a surprised expression.
"What are you doing?" He asked as he tried to look at what she had been writing, but she flipped the paper over before he could.
"Nothing." When he raised an eyebrow she sighed. "Fine, but you have to promise not to laugh or make fun of me."
"I promise." He said solemnly. She looked at him skeptically. He repeated himself. "I promise."
"Have you ever heard of fan fiction?" She asked.
"No." He shook his head.
"It's when fans of shows write stories about them. They write what they would like to see happen on the show or with their favorite characters." She looked at him as if waiting for him to snark at her, when he didn't, she continue. "Any way I have a favorite show and I read a lot of fanfiction about it."
"Do you write it too?"
"I was thinking about it. On the website there is a forum for the fans, one of the members came up with a challenge. There is a prompt and you write something based on that. I was brainstorming ideas."
"So what is your prompt?"
"Blue."
"That's it? Just the word blue?"
"Yup and I'm having a hard time with it."
"Can I help?"
"Why?" She asked suspiciously.
"Why not?" He countered and held his hand out for the paper.
House watched her closely as she seemed to have an internal debate with herself.
Finally, she took a deep breath and squared her shoulders before she handed him the paper with shaking hands.
He looked down at the paper.
Prompt: Blue… ???
Blue skies
Ocean
Blueberry
Sapphire
Black and blue
Once in a blue moon
Feeling blue
Blue shirt
Blue eyes… House
Date
What if he hadn't lied?
What if I hadn't asked?
What if he'd really answered?
What if?
What if?
What if?
His head jerked up in surprise and he looked at her. Showing more confidence than he expected to see, she stared right back at him.
"What if I hadn't lied about what?" He asked, his voice almost a whisper.
"About liking me." Her voice was quiet too.
"What if you hadn't asked what?"
"I wish I hadn't asked how you felt about me." She told him as she continued to hold his gaze. "What if I hadn't pushed you? I wish I knew."
He didn't answer, but he didn't look away either.
"What if I really answered what?" Although he knew what it was.
"My question about your feelings for me. You just evaded and never really answered."
"I know." He admitted.
Cameron reached out to take the paper away and laid it on the table.
"Do you have what ifs?" She asked.
House wanted to turn and leave, this type of conversation just made him want to limp away as fast as he could. However, he would just end up with another what if. He felt like he was standing on the edge of something. The edge of what he didn't know. What he did know was that he was tired of fight her, tired of fighting himself and his feelings, but most of all he was tired of being alone. Somewhere inside himself, he knew she was his last chance.
Slowly, he nodded his head. He looked down as she put a hand on his forearm.
"Please tell me." She pleaded.
"There are too many." He murmured. "My leg, my past, the pills, patients."
"Do you have any about me?" Cameron asked hesitantly.
"Oooohhh definitely." He answered bitterly.
"Like what?"
He took a deep breath before he answered and raised his eyes to hers.
"What if what you feel for me is just a crush?" She had to strain to hear him.
"It's not. It's stronger and deeper than anything I've felt before. And it's lasted even though you've never reciprocated." Her voice was strong and sure. Her gaze never wavered from his. He believed her.
"What if I hadn't lied when you asked me if I liked you?" He saw her eyes widen in surprise at the fact they wondered the same thing.
"I probably wouldn't have had to bribe you into taking me on a date." She smirked at him. He knew that she was trying to lighten the mood to make it easier for him and he appreciated it.
He gave her a quick grin, but then lowered his gaze. Slowly, he moved his free hand to cover the small hand that rested on his forearm.
"What if you moved on and I ruined my chance?"
"I haven't and you haven't either."
"What if I would like another chance with you?"
"I would give it to you." She told him softly.
House looked up at her again. This next one was a big one… one that worried him a lot.
"What if I screwed up and pushed you away? I think that you're my last chance, what if I ruin it?"
"I wouldn't let you push me away. You are stuck with me. And if you don't want to ruin it, then you won't." She assured him.
"What if I hurt you or you hurt me?" His voice trailed off at the end.
"We would just have to trust that we didn't do it intentionally and be willing to talk about it and forgive one another."
"What if…"
"House." She cut him off. "There are a lot of things that could go wrong. And yes, there are a lot of 'what ifs' you could keep asking me. I only have one more for you."
She paused. "What if it didn't go wrong? What if it worked out? That's what keeps nagging at me and won't let me give up. What if we give it a chance and we are happy? Because I truly believe that we can be."
House realized that she was right. And at least they would know.
"Fine, but I have just a few more." His eyes sparkled.
"What are they?" She asked cautiously.
"What if I wanted to give a relationship between us a try?"
"An honest try?" He nodded. "Then I would say yes and ask where do I sign up?"
He chuckled at her enthusiasm. "What if I asked you to come home with me tonight?"
"For what?"
"For whatever we decide."
"Do you want to ride together or should I follow you?" She grinned at him.
He took her hand in his and tugged her closer, until their faces were a breath apart.
"What if I kissed you right now?" He asked with a low, rough voice.
"I would kiss you back." She whispered before he closed the distance between their mouths.
EPILOGUE:
He did kiss her and she did kiss back. And just like in fluffy fanfiction, they lived happily every after.
Yeah..yeah..yeah… this is House we're talking about!!
And they lived 'mostly-happy' ever after.
THE END
Let me know what you thought.