When Fat Amy recently discovers the game Grand Theft Auto, her, Beca and Aubrey go on a roundabout adventure full of green goo, Girl Scouts, wigs, talking llamas, drug laced cookies and one insane redheaded girlfriend.
Beca strolled into her and Chloe's apartment and tossed her keys onto the dresser to her left. The dresser was littered with knick knacks that Chloe had started collecting since Beca's Sophomore year while claiming they reminded her of the small Alt Dj. Beca didn't know if she should've been offended by the fact that there was an empty Taco Bell tub on the dresser or if she should've been overwhelmed by the love Chloe tossed at her.
"A little bit of both." Beca muttered to herself while walking into the lounge room.
"What did you say honey?" A voice rang out from the kitchen that didn't sound like Chloe. Before Beca could've even shouted about what a strange accent Chloe was sporting, Fat Amy bursted into the living room wearing an apron and adorning an old and rotten ginger wig
"Now, do you want scrambled eggs for dinner or fried eggs? Oh, maybe I could make both!" Amy squealed and turned around to probably rush back into the kitchen where, only now Beca noticed, a foul smell emitted.
"Uh...Amy?" Beca stopped the blonde by placing a hand on her shoulder. Fat Amy turned around sighed and then slapped herself in the face.
"Right, I almost forgot our hello kiss!" She exclaimed and wrapped her arms around Beca's neck while leaning in for the kiss.
"Dude, no gross!" The Dj protested while trying to wrestle out of the blonde's grasp. "Chloe!" She squealed while Fat Amy managed to land a slobbery kiss on Beca's ear. "Chlo-!" Beca was silenced by Fat Amy's hand being clamped firmly over her mouth.
"Stop shouting, babe. I'm right here." Amy whispered while letting go of a terrified Beca. "Now, I'm going to go make the eggs! I hope they didn't burn!" And with that the blonde skipped into the kitchen leaving Beca shaking in her combat boots.
"What. The. Fuck?" She gasped while wiping Amy's saliva from her ear. The hobbit, who claims she's actually vertically challenged, slowly started to sneak her way to the back of the apartment where she hoped Chloe was sleeping. "Please don't let Amy be a crazy serial killer. Please." She prayed as she opened her and Chloe's bedroom door. Turning on the light she gazed at an empty bedroom before rushing to the bathroom and then to the kitchen.
"Becaboo! I'm almost finished the eggs!" Amy squealed while pointing to the fry pan full of a green goo substance that Beca really didn't think were eggs.
"What have you done with Chloe, Amy!" Beca shouted while slowly inching towards the knife rack.
"What do you mean, babe? I am Chloe silly." Amy replied while 'flipping' the 'eggs'.
"I think I'd know who my girlfriend of three years is and you're not her." Beca snorted. "Now seriously, stop acting weird and clean up this mess. I'm gonna call Aubrey." With that the Dj stormed from the kitchen and went to lock herself in the bathroom. Slamming the door shut she flicked the lock and slid to the floor beside the shower. Pulling her phone from her pocket she tapped on Aubrey's name, which was labelled 'Aca-Bitch', and pressed the phone to her hear.
"Aubrey Posen." Aubrey answered.
"Dude, seriously, haven't you saved my number yet?" Beca asked while picking at her ripped jeans.
"I have your number saved, Beca." The blonde answers.
"Then why say your name when you answer?"
"It's professional. Something you don't understand."
"I can be profession-You know what? I'm not arguing with you. Do you know where Chloe is?"
"No, she was supposed to come over half an hour ago because she wanted to talk."
"Yeah, well I haven't seen her either."
"I figured that hobbit."
"Don't call me hobbit, Hitler!"
"Fine. Don't call me Hitler."
"Fine." The sound of a crash echoed through the apartment and Amy let out a shrill, 'sorry babe'.
"Who is that? Are you cheating on Chloe?!" Aubrey's accusing tone shot through the phone.
"What? Dude, no. I'd never cheat on Chloe. That's Amy, she's dressed at Chloe while cooking something that's not eggs. Plus, she tried to kiss me!" Beca hissed.
"Amy? Did she manage to kiss you?" The Dj could pretty much feel Aubrey's evil grin coming through the phone at that moment.
"No...well yes! On the ear. It was wet."
"Wow. Do you want me to come over?"
"On my god, yes! I'm afraid Amy's turned into a serial killer. Hurry please!"
"Alright, I'll be there in ten." With that Aubrey hung up the phone and Beca turned to face the bathroom door. "What the fuck is going on?" She whimpered.
.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.
When Aubrey Posen said she would be there in ten, she was there. At ten, on the dot. Opening the door, with the key Chloe had given her when she and Beca moved in, Aubrey strolled into the kitchen, pepper spray tucked safety in her coat pocket and with one hand in said pocket.
"Becaaaa? Is that you? I didn't hear you leave. I cleaned up the eggs like you wanted me to." At the end of the sentence Fat Amy appeared in the lounge room wearing a disgusting ginger wig and an apron covered in a strange green substance. "Oh, Bree! I haven't seen you in ages." With that Aubrey was enveloped in a bear crushing huge and lifted off the ground.
"Amy. Put. Me. Down." Aubrey ordered. Amy complied and put the older blonde down while letting go and adorning a confused face.
"Why is everyone calling me Amy?" The former Bellas captain sighed and yanked the ginger wig from Amy's head while raising an eyebrow.
"Amy, you're not Chloe and you're scaring Beca. Right now she's probably locked in her bathroom shitting herself. You know the hobbit can't control her bowels." Aubrey scolded the younger blonde while chucking the disgusting wig in the bin.
"Aww shit. You're right Aubrey. I was trying something new." Amy sighed and took the apron off while chucking that in the bin after the wig. "I shouldn't have given Chloe to those gangsters."
"You what?!" Beca screeched while rushing into the lounge room with a baseball bat in hand.
"I mean, they were so nice and everything and they promised I could pretend to be her if I gave Chloe to them so they could take her to the beach for the day. I never meant to make Beca poop."
"What? I did not poop." Beca protested while dropping the baseball bat on the floor.
"Amy, we need to get Chloe. Where did you give her to them?" Aubrey asked while taking a hand from her pocket.
"Right here. At the front door." Amy strolled to the front door and opened it. "See they were standing here in their little yellow and brown costumes with cookies and cute pink flags. A bit babyish for gangsters but I guessed the cookies were laced in weed so I bought all of them with Beca's money."
"You what?"
"Yeah and then they asked if Chloe could go with them. Did you know Chloe was once one of those gangsters? Crazy shit right there. It was almost like that time in Tas-"
"On with it Amy." Aubrey cut in.
"Right, then Chloe decided to go with them and I thought I might as well eat the weed cookies."
"Did they get you high?" Beca inquired.
"Sadly no, so I just pretended to be high. Then I realised that Beca would be coming home soon and Chloe had left her phone here so I grabbed a wig and pretended to be Chloe in hopes of her not knowing. Then...Beca pooped."
"I did not poop!"
"Oh wow." Aubrey sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose. "Amy, you let Chloe go to the beach with Girl Scouts and the cookies were just cookies. No weed."
"Serious? Damn, I was gonna go back and see if they had Crystal Meth." Amy pouted.
"What? Are Crystal Meth and Weed the same thing?" The looks Beca received still left her confused so she left the question alone.
"That doesn't matter. Chloe will be back soon." Aubrey stated Just as Beca's phone started ringing. Pulling it from her pocket she saw it was an Unknown number and answered.
"Hello?" The Dj asked into the phone.
"Hello, Rebecca."
"Who is this?"
"I'm Kelley, but that doesn't matter. I have your precious Chloe here and if you lezbos want to see each other again you'll come to 42 Errand St in an hour."
"Dude, you're like seven years old. What could you do to Chloe?"
"I'm nine! Plus, I know several different torture methods."
"What the ability to apply make up like shit?"
"Hypocrite." Aubrey muttered while listening in on the phone call.
"No! I know ancient Japanese torture methods. So I would hurry Rebecca, before it's too late."
"It's Beca!" The Dj shouted as the phone disconnected. She placed her phone back in her jeans pocket and looked at Aubrey and Amy. "We're dealing with psychotic Girl Scouts."