Note from Destiny: Sorry about the hold up with my other Jimmy story..but..well..had this whole awkward scene between Carl and Betty that badly needs to be re-written. This is a depressing fanfic, and don't give me a bunch of BS replies telling me everyone's out of character, because this is going a bit deeper into what I think is happening in those minds of theirs. Especially Cindy's. Cindy is sixteen in this, as are the others, Sheen is..I have no idea how old Sheen is, if someone would help and reply to tell me, I'd like that very much.

Cindy stood in the shower, rinsing her hair, trying to forget. To forget anything about the past few days. One forgotten memory could take several stabs of pain away. She stared at the water that had gathered at her feet in the tub. It was ridiculously high now, about four inches above her ankles. It looked so calm..so inviting. No matter how much soap she rinsed into the water, it didn't lose its clarity. It was odd, and yet..comforting, she realized. This one thing could remain so pure no matter what she did to it..

If only the rest of life were like that. Lately, Cindy had thought perhaps she had a curse running through her veins, which broke down anything she was close to, or anything or anyone she was foolish enough to touch. Like Jimmy..

Stop thinking about that, he'll be fine. She chastised herself, shaking it off. She grabbed a comb and ran it through her hair, using it to get the conditioner out. Each time she reached the end of the strands, they'd bob back into a slight curl at the end. It had always annoyed her, but the presence of its familiarity was one of the few soothing factors she had at the moment.

Jimmy was in the hospital, and the prospects were, at best, grim. His parents were probably still in the waiting room, pacing around, wondering if their only child, their brilliant son, would ever awaken. A single tear fell from Cindy's eyes, mixing with the water already in the tub. It was even with the top of the tub now..if she didn't turn the water off soon, it was going to overflow.

Her mom would be mad...

Now the water beating down overhead from the showerhead had gone chillingly, icily cold. She shivered, and collapsed to her knees. The water in the tub was still warm, though...she had never noticed how much it looked like a bed. If she were to lay down now, maybe there wouldn't be any pain..maybe it would be quick.

If Jimmy never woke up, wouldn't it be best to go with him? Jimmy...he wasn't waking. It had been a week, and he still wasn't waking. Damn it, Neutron, wake up! You've never kept me waiting before..why are you now? Sheen's completely lost what little he had left, and Carl got sent to the mental hospital two days ago, all because of you! Wake up..please, Jimmy, wake up. We aren't ready to be without you. I'm not ready to be without you..

As these thoughts ran through Cindy's head unbridled, the water began spilling over onto the floor. Not that she noticed. And when she finally did, she didn't care. All that mattered was that she might never see those blue eyes again...that they were hidden behind heavy lids that refused to open, even with his own parents' constant pleading.

At first, Cindy had visited, along with Libby. She had truely believed he would wake up, smile at them, and make some lame joke about Cindy having bad fashion sense or some other nonsense. But he had just lain there, like...like a corpse. Cindy admitted to herself, finally reaching through the pounding water and turning the water off. She leaned back, letting the water wash over her.

She cursed him silently, guiltily. It hadn't been his fault. If anyone's, it had been her own. After all, it was their petty argument that caused him to take his eyes of the reactor of whatever the heck his new invention was. And while they had argued over the size of Jimmy's head and Cindy's pants, the reactor had reached critical condition..Jimmy had noticed just in time to press some energy shield to protect Cindy and the others, but he hadn't had time to get behind it himself.

The explosion wasn't that bad, Cindy supposed, but Jimmy had gotten the worst of it, being so close with no protection at all. I never even got to tell him..Cindy thought miserably, sinking even farther into the water. So many times she had tried to get those words out, and so many times, had utterly failed. It had been so much harder than it seemed.

But now, who was to say if Cindy would get a chance to even be rejected? This was Jimmy..if he could overcome it, he would have by now. The only person capable of saving him would be Jimmy himself, and how would that be possible? Was there anyway for him to have a brainblast to save himself while he was in a coma, hooked up to all sorts of machines that beeped and pinged irritatingly during those deathly silences?

By instinct, her hand flew to the gold braided chain around her neck; a pearl Jimmy had given her back when they were eleven. That had been the best day of Cindy's life..being near Jimmy without being expected to fight with him. How stupid was that? Arguing with the one she loved because people had come to expect it of her...

Screw them. Cindy thought decisevly, slipping even farther into the water. How she wanted to just close her eyes..to sleep..to let the water do its work. She had heard once that drowning really was like sleeping, but then again, who could say but one who had actually drowned? Maybe, she thought, she should find out for herself. Her eyelids suddenly felt much heavier. She could barely hold her eyes open anyways..and who'd care if she was gone? Well, of course, there was Libby, but Libby's be all right, Cindy supposed.

Her mouth and nose were completely water logged now. Her green eyes, blood-shot and red from crying, were reflected in the water, staring back up at her. She glared at them, and they glared back. Cindy's breath was gone..if she didn't want to pass out or die, she'd have to resurface now. But she found that she didn't want to...

Slowly, everything slipped out of focus. There was a sharp pain in her chest, but nothing she couldn't handle. Her eyes closed, and she slipped even farther into the peaceful water, embracing the possibility that it might be the real end of all her pain...

End of Chapter One: I know this is depressing...just tell me if you like it or not, ok? Cindy may or may not die from this, I haven't really decided yet...anyways, review, please.