A/N: Like the waistband on a cheap pair of underwear, this thing just kept growing, and growing ... I'm still 3 chapters from the end but I think it's pretty safe to post the first chapter now - I'm pretty sure I caught any continuity problems. So, enjoy, and please - FEEDBACK!

Whiskey Tango Foxtrot

I: Have A Cigar

I was actually getting to enjoy one of my rare days off – nothing was threatening to wipe us off the face of the universe and the other teams were all on peaceful trading missions that didn't need my supervision – and me and one of the off-duty marines and the new chemist were out enjoying some waves off the mainland. I was riding the crest of a particularly sweet breaker when I caught movement out of the corner of my eye. I glanced out to sea and saw a Jumper coming in fairly low and weaving slightly from side to side.

Oh crap. After I came up for air, I decided to take my own sweet time getting back to shore. I paddled back out, waited for a few waves to pass, and by the time I finally headed back in I could see Rodney standing just outside the surf line waving his arms, trying to get my attention. I hit the sand, tucked my short board under an arm, and sauntered up the beach. "This better be a life or death emergency," I said as I planted my board and picked up a gallon jug of fresh water that was sitting in the open back of the Jumper we came in.

"Well, if you had been wearing a radio like you're supposed to, then I wouldn't have had to drop what I was doing and fly all the way out here like a common messenger boy to fetch your scrawny ass," Rodney said.

I glanced down at my wetsuit. "Radio. Yeah, right," I drawled as I poured the jug out over my head. "You come out here for a reason, or was everyone back on Atlantis in hiding?"

"Carson called in from G8R-040. He wants us, as in you and me, to come 'at our earliest convenience', and by that I'm pretty sure in Carson speak means to drop what we're doing and haul our butts over right away." Rodney danced impatiently from foot to foot and, yeah, he was supplying air quotes as he ranted. "I told him you were out here and that I hadn't even begun to map half the new systems the Ancients reactivated during their brief stay, but no – he insisted we come and it was in our best interest. No explanations, no hints – just 'our best interests'. Now what in the hell is that supposed to mean?"

As I capped the empty jug I felt my guts twist up into a knot. G8R-040, Nixta's world. It had been damn near six months since we were there, and I was still having dreams about it. Some of them I'd wake up so pissed I pretty much stayed awake the rest of the night. For others I'd wake up in a cold sweat with the sound of her scream in my head. Then there were the ones where I'd need a cold shower…. Needless to say, I was still pretty much fucked up in my head over that whole mess and regardless of Teyla's offer, it was probably going to stay that way for awhile longer. "How did he sound when he called in?" I sat the jug down and picked my towel up off my duffle.

"I don't know, like Carson," Rodney said and raised his hands. "Slightly constipated and full of quaint little Scottish colloquialisms."

Well, if it wasn't important he wouldn't have called us, and a little part of me was panicking that he wouldn't say why. "Well, we better go find out what he wants." I whistled for Carpenter to come in, and when the big Marine came ashore I said, "Sergeant, the car is yours. Make sure you have it home by curfew."

"Yes, sir," he said and gave a pitiful excuse for a salute. Jeez – wetsuits just don't get the respect the uniform does. I grabbed my stuff and before I was in the other Jumper he was back out on the water. I couldn't hold back a wistful sigh as the hatch closed. Rodney was already in the pilot's seat. Hell no - that wouldn't do. I got up right behind him and dripped water down his neck. The flinch was worth it. "Oh, no you don't," I said and hooked a thumb at the other seat.

"Hey, I flew out here fine."

"Yeah, well I saw that drunken weaving you call flying. Move." He did, but only after I shook my head and splattered more water on him.

oOo

As I left my quarters, I tried to remember who was with Carson at the moment. Let's see – Teyla was there to interpret, Dr. Brown, Lorne and a couple Marines, a couple med techs to help Carson gather blood samples, oh, and Zelenka. The Czech was dying to check out that null field around the Temple, see if any of the systems could be adapted for Atlantis. Rodney probably should have gone, but the Ancients and the Replicators pissed him off messing with his city and he didn't even bat an eye when Radek volunteered.

Rodney was waiting for me in front of the 'Gate, rocking impatiently from heel to toe. "Took your own sweet time, I see," he said as he waved for the tech to dial up the address.

"That was the intention," I said with a grin as I put on my sunglasses. We were both fully geared up and I wish I had a pair of shorts to wear - I remember how hot it was the last time. So did Rodney – he was actually wearing a short sleeved shirt this time around. Of course he had so much sun screen and bug spray on him my eyes were actually starting to water. I took a step away from him as the 'Gate whooshed to life. I forget who it was that referred to stepping through the 'Gate as the Big Flush, but ever since I heard that, the sight of the liquid crystal matrix in the ring always made me think of a galactic toilet bowl. And considering some of the places we've visited … eh, enough said. I tapped my earpiece. "Hey, Major, you up to giving a couple of hitchhikers a ride?"

"Be there in two shakes, Colonel," Lorne replied.

"Sweet." I glanced at Rodney after I killed the connection. "Does Elizabeth know what Carson wants?"

Rodney shook his head. "I asked. It's as much a mystery to her," he replied as we stepped forward.

"Huh," I grunted and took in a last cool breath before we stepped across the event horizon. There was the momentary dizzying, lurching sensation then my next step was on stone. I was expecting knock your breath out heat, so the temp in the, oh, low-eighties was a surprise. So was the rain. It wasn't coming down hard, yet, but one glance at the sky showed heavy black clouds and a wall of gray off in the distance that promised one helluva downpour once it hit.

"Oh, crap," Rodney said as the 'Gate closed. "They could have warned us it was monsoon season." He was flinching with every drop that hit and hugging his computer to his chest to protect it, even though it was already in a waterproof sleeve.

I just shook my head. I looked in the direction I knew the village lay and saw a Jumper rise gracefully up out of the canopy and shoot towards us. Lorne had the rear hatch open before he even landed on the top of the pyramid – yeah, the thing was that big – and we hustled in out of the rain.

"Good timing, Major," I said as I plopped down in the co-pilot's seat. The wall of rain was pummeling the Jumper now. Rodney was setting down behind me and grumbling the whole time under his breath. I pulled my sunglasses off and put them in my vest since I obviously didn't need them.

"Thank you, Sir." Lorne glanced at me, then just as quickly looked away, his mouth twitching. "These storms have been coming in three, four times a day," he said as he brought the Jumper up and around. "Pours like crazy for ten minutes, stops for awhile, drizzles, then dumps again. Keeps the temp down, though humidity, not so much." Then he glanced at me again and this time I saw the grin before he clamped down on it.

"Is something amusing, Major?"

Lorne coughed. "An, no. Sir." Then he fixed his attention so forcefully forward you'd have thought he was chasing down a Wraith dart and not just flying over treetops. But I could still see his reflection in the windscreen, and I couldn't tell for sure, but it looked like his cheeks were … twitching.

"So, do you know what Carson called us here for?" I asked. I narrowed my eyes as Lorne actually choked. God damned choked. Mister Straight Face himself.

"Um, I do, Sir, but, ah, the doctor asked me to let him explain it." Then he concentrated on maneuvering the Jumper down through the canopy and landing it outside of the village. "And he asked me to take you straight to him the second you arrived."

"'At our earliest convenience'," Rodney said and grimaced. "Put him in charge of a team and he thinks he's Weir."

"What is going on, Major?" I said in my calmest voice. I knew that tone could get the most hardcore Marine to snap to attention. All it did was make Lorne twitch as he got up out of his seat. "I am your CO - do I have to order you to tell me?"

Lorne twitched even more. "But, but the doc has really big needles," he said. "And catheters."

I think we all cringed at that.

"And he made me promise. You … you just have to see it for yourself, sir." Then he shot out of the Jumper before I could say anything else.

Rodney and I looked at each other. "Why do I have a very bad feeling about this?" Rodney said.

The rain was still coming down pretty damn hard, especially in the gaps between trees. We ran in a half crouch to the village gate – which I was surprised to see was now surrounded by stone instead of wooden palisade - and waited there a few minutes for the deluge to let up. I tried to get Lorne to fess up, but even after threat of scrubbing the halls with a toothbrush for the rest of his stay on Atlantis all he would say was 'the doc will explain'. The second the rain started to ease up he took off towards the Temple in the center of the village at a pretty fast walk. We followed and I felt myself getting more and more pissed with every step.

The path through the village had been stomped into a consistency of concrete from years of bare feet traveling up and down it. Mud was minimal – but not the way Rodney was complaining – and we could see the villagers waving at us from their huts as they waited out the drizzle. The children didn't seem to mind and they came out in droves to greet us. They were clearly disappointed Ronon wasn't there to play tag with, but they soon discovered the delight of terrorizing Rodney. Instead of growling at them, Rodney would flinch, no doubt imagining the billions of germs that were covering all those naked little grubby bodies. By the time we got to the center and the Temple there were a dozen muddy hand prints on Rodney's pants, all about knee and thigh level, and he was starting to growl at them much to their delight. I had a pretty big grin on my face by the time we hit the flagstones around the place.

Then the Ancient field lab, or the Temple of Life as the locals called it, was right before us and my smile died instantly. For a second I expected a tall, graceful figure to come out of the archway at the top of the stairs leading up into the place, and my heart did do a lurch when someone stepped out of the interior. But it was one of Lorne's men and I mentally smacked myself as I took a deep breath. I glanced over at Rodney and saw his face set, his lips drawn into a tight grimace. Yeah, he was probably still just as fucked up about the whole thing as I was.

Lorne didn't waste any time and headed right on up the steps. Just like before, my ATA gene triggered the lighted designs as we followed him. As we passed through the archway the two Marines standing guard there gave me the weirdest looks before they snapped to attention. I frowned and I swear you could hear the tendons in their backs creak as they stood even straighter. What the hell? I thought as I noticed that they, too, had that same tight twitchy expression on their faces that Lorne had in the Jumper.

The place hadn't changed – the fountain was still splashing away in the center of the atrium and there were plants everywhere. The temperature inside was about the same as outside this time so the urge to jump in the fountain wasn't too strong. As we rounded the right side of the huge thing we could hear voices, and as we cleared the tumbling water I stopped dead in my tracks. Rodney ran into me, but his sure to be snide comment died with a single sputter. I was dimly aware of Lorne just stepping to the side, touching his ear, and speaking softly.

The first thing I saw was Teyla sitting on the lip of the fountain, a big flat basket full of plant clippings on her lap. She had this, well, shell shocked expression on her face as she sat there, and when she noticed us all that changed was her eyebrows went up fraction.

Katie Brown, the little redheaded botanist Rodney had the hots for, had her attention fixed on a bizarre looking spiky fruit that was hanging from a creeping vine on the underside of the balcony a good dozen feet above her head. "Can you reach that?" she said to the villager standing next to her who was also looking up at the fruit.

What the fuck? And to be honest, I wasn't sure if I thought that, or said it out loud.

His skin was tanned to a color a little lighter than Teyla's, and he was wearing a loincloth that was nothing more than a long strip of cloth held in place by a very familiar belt made of gold and jade beads. He had a lanky runner's build but his shoulders were more developed, and he was easily as tall as me. His black hair was cut a lot shorter than all the locals, and as far as I could tell he didn't have one single bit of body hair. And trust me, from what little he was wearing, it was easy to tell.

And the most disturbing part of the whole thing was he looked just like I did about fifteen years ago.

"Oh. My. God," Rodney whispered. "He even has your … perpetually surprised hair."

I was completely speechless as I watched my … clone? ... simply wrap his hands around Katie's waist and effortlessly lift her up so she could reach the fruit. She let out a startled gasp, which turned into a giggle, and blushed. "Oh, wow – you're strong," she said before she easily reached up and snipped the fruit's stem.

Rodney dropped his computer and it hit the floor, flat, with a loud whap.

Huh, I wonder if this is what an out of body experience feels like? I thought absently as a still giggling Katie was lowered to the floor. I heard the lift doors open down the hall somewhere off to my right as she noticed us standing there for the first time. His expression didn't change at all, but hers lit up like we were long lost friends she hadn't seen in years. "Colonel! Rodney! You made it!" She made it sound cheerful, but her eyes were showing a little too much white. "Um, have you met Nixta yet?"

"Can't say that we have," Rodney muttered softly.

The new Guardian came over to us, stopped about three feet away and cocked his head faintly. This close I could see his eyes were that same antique green/gold of his predecessor's, and so help me God if he sniffs me I'm going to deck him. I cleared my throat. "I, uh … I don't think I can call you by that name."

His eyebrows rose and when they settled his whole hairline moved. Oh man, like I haven't seen that little thing happen, like, a million times in the mirror. He cocked his head faintly in the other direction and said, "That is fine. You can call me … Shadow." The voice was maybe a little deeper, but … holy shit. I could feel little beads of sweat break out on my forehead. Then he offered a very faint friendly smile that only tugged up one corner of his mouth. Yup, that's familiar, too.

"Oh dear God," Rodney breathed. "That is just … just so disturbing on so many levels," he finished in a rush.

Somewhere off to my left I heard someone choke – if it was Lorne he was never, ever going to be able to unclench his hand from all the scrubbing he was going to be doing until the end of his tour. Before I could look, something distracted Shadow and he glanced past me. I turned and saw Kintu trotting up to us. The little guy hadn't changed at all - still tattooed, still had that bone thingy in his nose. He gave me a broad happy smile and nodded. I numbly nodded back. Then Kintu said something to Shadow. Shadow frowned, nodded once and said, "If you will excuse me – I am needed in the village." Then they both took off in a jog. Well, Kintu in a jog, Shadow in a leisurely lope, his long legs easily keeping up with the pygmy's stride.

A stunned silence settled over all of us as we watched the two disappear around the fountain. Then Carson's voice filled the void. "Congratulations, Colonel – it's a boy."

I turned and faced him, and let me tell you – the look of utter disappointment he had directed at me right then stung. A lot. Zelenka was standing next to him with his hand clamped down so hard over his mouth that one side of his glasses was off his nose and sitting on his cheek. Ah, so he was the one who made the noise. I narrowed my eyes at him.

Zelenka recovered enough composure, however, to pull off his glasses and begin cleaning them. "We've been here, maybe, a day at most. All we see are half naked little pygmies running around like Discovery Channel special – all that's missing is narrator. Imagine our surprise this morning when hunting party returns from jungle and he is with them."

"Yeah, well, bet you weren't half as surprised as I am right now," I said under my breath. Zelenka kind of choked again, then cleared his throat as he carefully put his glasses back on.

Carson just hmfed and crossed his arms. "Is there something ya neglected to tell us about your last visit?"

"Huh? What … I … wait! He's … not … no!" I gestured back the way Shadow just disappeared. "Don't you think he's a little, um, big to be … uh, that?" The room seemed way too bright and I needed to sit down. I plunked down hard next to Teyla.

She lifted a hand, palm up, and it took a second for her words to form. "The resemblance is … uncanny." Katie was standing next to her, nodding in agreement.

I had to lean forward and put my head between my knees.

The entire time this was going on Rodney had been standing there slightly hunched, his hands up by his chest and his fingers twitching spasmodically. He suddenly looked down at his computer on the floor, went huh like he was surprised to see it there, and picked it up. Then with the thing clutched tightly to his chest he sat down heavily next to me. I had just brought my head up, pretty sure I was no longer going to pass out or puke, when he whispered out of the corner of his mouth, "Uh, you don't suppose there's a nearly naked version of, you know …." He grimaced and mouthed, me? "Running around?" he finished.

"Oh, God, I hope not," I groaned and had to put my head between my knees again.

"Hey, you didn't need to answer like that!"

"McKay," I said from my position with my head down and my arms on my knees. I sat up, and as I took in all the freaked out and amused expressions I ran my hand across my lips. "Carson, we need to have a talk. And without the peanut gallery."

oOo

We were in one of the small med labs several levels down, and Carson was leaning against the exam table, his arms crossed and his mouth clenched between his thumb and first finger as he thought. Rodney and I had both fessed up to our midnight, ah, 'fondling' during our first visit and Carson had yet to say anything. I stood there with my hands on my hips, my lips drawn in, and Rodney was still hugging his computer but chewing on one fingernail. I think we both felt like teenagers who were caught in the bathroom with a titty magazine, and for me the embarrassment was interspersed with short hot stabs of anger.

Finally Carson pulled his hand away from his mouth. "Well, you cannae clone from just a sperm sample alone," he said. "Did you happen tae notice any needles marks or any such thing?"

"Not that I noticed - just the scratch on the neck," Rodney replied.

"Where the paralytic agent was administered," Carson said as he looked at me.

I nodded. "That gash on my hip was still seeping when I went to bed," I said with a shrug. "The bandage was gone when I got up."

"Aye, blood sample – that would work." Carson frowned. "We searched this building, top to bottom, when we arrived, and we dinnae find any facility that could support the rapid growth of a clone."

"So he is a clone?" I asked and felt my pulse jump up a notch.

"The resemblance is too … close tae be anything but," Carson replied.

Rodney snapped his fingers. "There must be a hidden lab," he said. He pulled his computer out and hesitantly turned it on. He gave a happy little huh when the display popped up and he set about directly interfacing it with the controls to the medical scanner so he could access the system. He'd had so much practice with this kind of thing over the last few years it didn't take him long at all before he was pulling up data.

While he was doing that I went over by Carson. "So, he wasn't here when you arrived?" I said quietly. I didn't think I needed to clarify the he I was talking about.

Carson shook his head. "That wee fellow with the bone in his nose and another with half an arm met us at the gate. Teyla explained why we were here, and they let us stay in the Temple until the 'Guardian' returned. Some of the systems were locked down until he reactivated them, but enough were up we could do what we came here for." He dropped his voice even more. "So, do you think he can … change, too?" We had included that detail about Nixta in the reports and Carson sounded a little excited.

"Probably," I replied. If he was the new Guardian, most likely, I thought. I remembered what Nixta was like when she changed in the jungle – the fur rising up from her skin, the legs reforming into something that could handle both upright and four-legged walking, the claws – and it sent my freak-out meter up into the red zone.

"I wonder if he would be keen to a full work-up," Carson said off-handedly.

I shrugged as I watched Rodney scroll through schematics of the facility. I noticed he was starting to grimace more and more as his eyes darted over the images. "Did you find something?" I asked.

His eyes remained focused on the screen. "I've been thinking," he said.

Oh, jeez – we're in trouble now.

"Why would she clone you?"

I wasn't sure, but I think I heard Carson snort out a little puff of air.

"I mean, why you?" His hand came up and fluttered by his head. "I, I, I just can't understand why she would willingly pass up the opportunity to infuse the next Guardian with, with genius. Imagine what that little detail could have done for her people. But no - instead she goes and clones the flyboy with the Kirk Complex and the cowlick from hell. What was she thinking?"

You know, most of Rodney's rants I ignore, but this one was starting to hit below the belt.

"Actually, now that I think about it, she probably wasn't thinking. She was probably blinded by the light of all the pretty little Ancient decorations you were activating with your gene. And if she was only interested in you because of your gene, then I'm pretty sure she could have figured out a way to bioengineer that to the clone. After all, I was given the ATA gene, and Carson figured that one out all by himself."

I glanced at Carson and saw the Scot's mouth open. "Yeah, but why have a copy when you can have the original?" I said as I cut him off. "Besides, you saw what he was wearing, and I seriously doubt they have sunscreen here."

Rodney dismissed that with a rude little wave. "But if this facility can produce a complete adult clone in …." He shrugged. "Then a copy wouldn't propose too much of a – oh, hey, I found something," he said and straightened up from his crouch over the computer.

There are times the man reminds me of a Chihuahua on crack.

Carson and I glanced at each other and sighed. "What did you find?" I prompted or else he'd probably just stand there and go huh and keep going through data.

"Here's something just off the control room," he said and picked up the computer. We crowded around and looked over his shoulder as he tried to call up any descriptions or designations. "There is absolutely nothing in the database to say what that is. And I don't recall seeing a door down there." His words trailed off as he scrolled through more data.

I backed away. "We should go check it out."

"Definitely," Rodney said as he disconnected the leads.

oOo

Thirty seconds later the three of us were in the lift riding down to the lower most level. Just before the door opened Rodney, who'd had his nose pretty much glued to his computer, made a strangled noise. "Oh, no. No, no no no. The ZedPM – it's been depleted nearly six per cent." He lifted his head and his expression was pained. "It was at sixty-two. What have they been doing to my ZedPM?"

"I thought we went over this already," I said as I pushed him out of the lift. "It's not yours. And quit your whining – the Replicators left us a fully charged one."

"Details," Rodney replied with a twitchy shrug.

Zelenka was back in the control room when the three of us came barreling in. His eyebrows shot up as we blew past him and stopped in front of the wall opposite the door. "What is going on?" he asked as he looked up from the console he was working at.

"There's another room behind this," Rodney said as he began running his hand along the apparently seamless wall. "Carson, check over there. Sheppard, see if you can, I don't know, maybe think it open. It should be right in this area."

I put my hand on the wall and concentrated on different combos – open, open sesame, unlock, slide, iris open. Hell, I even imagined that funny little noise all the doors on Star Trek made when they opened. It wasn't until I pictured a cycling airlock that something happened. A section of wall about five feet wide popped out an inch and the unmistakable sound of air hissing through a small space filled the room. Then it slid down into the floor and lights came on.

Rodney and I were first into the room, shortly followed by Carson and Zelenka. It was maybe fifteen feet wide, thirty feet deep, and all done in slick enameled white. The entire back wall was nothing but a bank of Ancient equipment that had absolutely no meaning to me, and attached to that was what looked like a stasis pod with dozens of tubes and wires coming out of it.

"Oh my God – there it is," Rodney breathed. I looked up and sure enough, smack dab in the middle of the equipment was the unmistakable end of a ZPM. It was dark at the moment and Rodney was heading for it just like a shark towards chum. I cleared my throat, and when he sheepishly glanced back at me I shook my head. "I was just going to, ah, inspect the, um … oh, who in the hell am I fooling."

"They really should make a twelve-step program for that addiction you got there," I drawled. "Hey, I should bring that up to Heightmeyer."

"Asshole," Rodney muttered. But pretty soon he and Zelenka were ooh-ing and ah-ing over the system – or should I say huh-ing and muttering in Czech – and Carson was right behind them and just as excited.

Me, I couldn't quit staring at the pod. It was maybe seven feet long and had a clear top, and lining the bottom was hundreds of what appeared to be drain holes as big around as my little finger. Man, what would it be like waking up in that thing, where your first view of the world was nothing but stark white sterile … nothing? That was just downright creepy.

"This is absolutely incredible!" Rodney said. The three of them were all huddled around his computer.

"Am I reading that correctly?" Carson added. He reached out to point at something on the computer screen and Rodney batted his hand away.

"Yes, is fully … automated," Zelenka said, clearly impressed. Then he rattled off something in Czech and shook his head.

"You mean it's a … what - clone vending machine?" I said, my freak-out meter finally pegging out. It popped out before I could stop it, and all three of them just turned and looked at me. I must have had a doozy of an expression on my face because what had the potential to be three somewhat peeved glowers softened instantly.

Rodney was the first to speak. Naturally. "Um, basically," he said, and the tone surprised me. Usually he just pops back with an insult and a terse explanation geared down to a three-year-old. This time he just offered an explanation without any snark. "The system takes a prepared specimen – and that seems to be the only real lab work involved here – and takes it from there." He tapped the screen. "Holy crap – no wonder the ZedPM is down. If I'm reading this correctly – which I'm pretty sure I am – it only takes ten days to create a complete adult clone." He met my eyes and for a second I couldn't tell if there was an apology or worry there. Then he dropped his gaze back to his computer as if he was embarrassed by the sudden show of emotion.

"Go back, go back," Zelenka said. "There – something about information transfer."

Our radios came to life right then and I welcomed the interruption. "Doctor Beckett," Teyla said, her voice tight, controlled. "We may need your help."

Beckett tapped his earpiece. "Carson here. Where are ye?"

We could all hear a tense voice in the background – it sounded like me. "We are on our way to the level two medical units."

Carson was already heading out the door. "What is the emergency?" he asked. He clearly understood Teyla's tone.

"Shadow brought one of the villagers in. She is pregnant and bleeding heavily."

"On my way," Carson said.

I decided to follow Carson – I really didn't want to stay in that room any longer. "You two, behave," I said as I backed out of the room. Zelenka nodded and Rodney grimaced.

Carson was coolly relaying orders to his two assistants as we trotted down the hall. The lift took a moment to arrive, and when it did the first thing we noticed was the blood on the floor. It wasn't much, and it had been smudged by bare feet and Teyla's boots, but it was enough to send Carson into full doctor mode. It was amazing to watch, really – he gets this Zen calmness around him like a cloak, but his eyes …. Man, they don't miss a thing and you can just see his brain going into overdrive. He didn't hesitate hitting the blood smeared control, and the ride up four levels took just a few seconds. The doors opened and we followed a faint trail of foot prints and small splatters to a med bay.

Teyla was standing in the hall and I joined her as Carson ducked inside, and we both just stood in the door, out of the way, and watched. I saw Carson hesitate ever so briefly when he saw the woman on the table. He probably had the same thought go through his head that I did – it's hard to believe she's a full grown woman when she was only the size of a twelve-year-old. And she was clearly in pain and freaking out big time. But he was by her side in a heartbeat and accepting a pair of latex gloves from his nurse, Carrie. His other assistant – could not for the life of me remember his name – was busy laying out the emergency field med kit. "Is this her first child?" Carson asked Shadow as he pulled on his gloves and picked up a stethoscope.

Shadow was standing by the table, one blood streaked hand on the woman's head and the other clenched in a death grip in one of her hands. He was gently stroking her hair and whispering to her, and in the middle of his litany he answered, "No, her second." Then he continued speaking to her only, a reassuring smile on his face and his voice calm, soothing.

Carson nodded as he listened to her stomach and frowned ever so briefly. "All right, then. We need to get her calmed down. Nurse, get me …."

Shadow cut him off with a quick glare. "I have it," he said. He started to pull away but the woman's sobs increased. Without hesitation he just grabbed one of Carson's hands and as gently as he could transferred her grip over to him.

"Here now, love – it's going tae be all right," Carson said and smiled. Yeah, I've been at the end of that before. Not the 'love' part, but definitely the look he was giving her right now that said he was going to do everything he could to make things right. And from the way she was focused on him, that look was obviously universal regardless of the language the reassurances were spoken in.

Shadow darted over to the wall and I could see blood smeared down his stomach and legs. A panel on the wall dropped open and revealed shelves of clay jars and bottles. He grabbed one jar, pulled the simple top off, and a second later was holding a tiny crimson blob of something to her lips. I caught a faint whiff of birthday cake and from past experience knew exactly what it was. She accepted it and in the space of a half dozen chews was starting to calm down. Wow, the uncut stuff worked fast. As Shadow gently took her hand back from Carson and laid it down he looked up at the doctor. "I'm going to try to stop the bleeding, but I'm not sure how successful I will be."

"Do your best, lad," Carson said.

Okay, now this I was curious about. On our first visit here Big Bird's evil cousin had tried to kick my ribs in, and that night the other Nixta had healed the damage. I'd been wondering how she did that ever since because I never did get the chance to ask.

Shadow nodded and placed both hands on the now quiet woman's stomach and closed his eyes. Within a few seconds a fine sheen of sweat coated his face and he was bearing his teeth in a determined snarl I was more than familiar with. Then he lowered his head until it was nearly resting on the table and growled. It wasn't something a human throat could make – it was a deep rumbling thing that seemed to come up out of his chest – and I think we all jumped a little. It stopped abruptly and that was when the rippling line of shadow rose up on the backs of both hands, then traveled up both arms and down his spine. It took maybe two seconds at most, and it was clearly fur that rose and fell in a quick wave.

Carson flinched. "Jesus, Mary, and Joseph," he muttered. His nurse backed into the other assistant, who was standing there with his mouth open.

Shadow slumped and barely kept himself from going to his knees by holding onto the edge of the table. "I … think … that … did it," he said between gasps. The woman lifted a limp hand and placed it on his arm and offered him a faint, drug induced smile.

When Carson began to move the woman's blood streaked legs I turned away and wandered down the hall, past the lift, until I was well out of earshot. I didn't realize Teyla had followed me until I leaned against the wall and let out a deep breath. "Well, that was intense," I said and ran a hand down my face.

"Yes," she said quietly. She crossed her arms and leaned against the wall next to me. She still seemed pretty, well, distracted. Unfocused. That wasn't like her at all.

"Are you all right?" I asked her.

Teyla glanced up at me and one of her eyebrows rose faintly. "I believe I should be the one asking you that question, Colonel."

I snorted and crossed my arms. "Yeah, well, in all honesty …." I shook my head chuckled, but quit instantly because it sounded a little too strained to my ears. "To say I'm freaked is the understatement of the fucking century." Part of me was ready to bust out in laughter, while another part of me wanted the lift doors to slam repeatedly on my head.

We were both distracted by said lift doors opening and Kintu leading a shell shocked man by the hand into the med bay. Must be the father. Huh, so the little guy knows some of his way around the place, I thought to myself. When I glanced back at Teyla she was still watching me. "I would have appreciated a little warning."

Teyla lowered her head for a moment. "I argued for that, but Carson was concerned about word getting out on Atlantis before you had had a chance to … absorb the information."

I grimaced as I digested that. "Yeah, good point, I guess," I finally muttered.

A little of Teyla's normal self shined through when the corner of her mouth rose. "Major Lorne has been highly amused by your double's state of … undress."

"Well the Major is going to find himself 'highly amused' into a month of KP if he isn't careful." Then I glanced at her and saw her trying to fight a smirk. "And he just might have company," I growled.

She obviously didn't feel threatened because the smirk stayed.

I sighed. "I think Dr. Brown needs help. She still up in the atrium?"

"I will go see if she needs assistance," Teyla said and, by God, I think the smirk widened a touch before she turned and headed for the lift and left.