The door of the TARDIS closed heavily behind them as the Doctor and Clara skipped excitedly toward the center console. The Doctor grinned broadly as he flipped his flowing brown hair from his eyes.
"I told you that Goethe was quite the party animal! Not just some stuffy poet, as you were so convinced," the Doctor exclaimed, giggling uncontrollably as he threw several of the TARDIS' levers and adjusted a few dials. Stopping suddenly he shuddered, adding, "I hope he was kidding about adding sex scenes to The Venetian Epigrams." He shook his head, running his fingers through his hair.
Clara laughed as she leaned against the console across from him, "He wasn't the only one having a grand ol' time." She reached into her pocket jacket tossing a banana in his direction.
He snatched the fruit from the air examining it before grinning in her direction. She stared back at him, her head cocked slightly to one side, an eyebrow raised in question.
"Well…?" he paused momentarily barely able to contain his excitement, "where do you want to go next?"
Clara shrugged nonchalantly, "surprise me."
Snapping, the Doctor smiled, pointing his finger in her direction, "I haven't taken you to Metebelis III yet, have I? Oh it is beautiful! The moon bathes the entire planet in blue… The wildlife's a bit dodgy though, really hoping they've finally gotten those spiders under control..." He threw a final level and the TARDIS began to moan.
"Spiders?"
"Well, technically they call themselves The Eight Legs… They're descendant from spiders. Well… Descendant, mutated… Same thing really. Tried to kill me once! Well not me, but me… An earlier me… Oh the memories."
"I don't do spiders. And definitely not murderous ones!"
"It'll be fine! Trust me!" he insisted clapping his hands together in excitement.
It wasn't long before the TARDIS finally landed; Clara made her way hesitantly toward the door.
"I swear to God, if I open this door to find a spider I'm never talking to you again!" the Doctor scoffed at the notion, as he leaned arrogantly against the console motioning her toward the door.
Clara hesitated slightly before pulling the door open and sticking her head through the narrow gap. She glanced around nervously before pulling the door open and making her way out into the bright midday sun. After a brief moment the stuck her head back through the door.
"Uh, you better come take a look at this."
"Oh I've seen it," he started, rising and adjusting his bowtie before making his way toward the door, "it's brilliant! One day it will be a galactic-wide destination, but that won't happen for at least another three or four hundred years."
"Yeah… Galactic wide, whatever…"
"Again with the questioning?" he asked stepping through the doorway, never breaking eye contact with Clara. "The forests and gem fields of this planet are legendary, they remind me of… London?" What had been a confident smile became one of confusion.
"That can't be right," he scratched his head. He turned his focus back toward the TARDIS. "Why have you brought us here?" he muttered under his breath biting a fingernail as he thought.
"I don't mind," Clara chirped, "let's grab some chips and figure it out after?"
"Right! Brilliant! I love chips! Chips, chips, chips…" The Doctor spun around wildly, and preceded to march past Clara and down the block. He walked purposefully, his hands tucked behind his back and bent over slightly at the waist.
Clara hurried to catch up, skipping occasionally as they made their way down the street. "You know, I honestly don't mind making a pit stop here every now and then…" she ventured after a few moments.
"Ah yes… The joys of London… You British running around all day with your pit bulls, afternoon tea, rain or fog, cries of 'Balderdash!' or 'Cheerio!'" the Doctor mimed a posh gentleman as best he could.
"Hey! We're not all like that!" Clara interrupted, hitting the Doctor firmly in the arm. He smiled coyly in her direction.
"I suppose not…" He thought for a moment, before suddenly stopping before a small cluttered newsstand. He grabbed one of the several papers off the rack examining the front page closely. "I knew it! A Saturday! We managed to land on a Saturday," he glanced over his shoulder at Clara who struggled to read the paper, "They're my favorite you know? Better than Wednesdays or Thursdays… Saturday July 23rd, 2016. Ooooh what a year this one turns out to be!" He taunted Clara slightly, before tucking the paper meticulously back into its rack, smiling at the proprietor behind the counter.
They continued to make their way down the street when suddenly a woman's shriek filled the air. Without hesitation the two quickly began to run down the lane in the direction of the cry.
They didn't have to run far to find a woman wailing hysterically out front of one of the lane's many street side cafés. She stood before her table motioning toward an empty chair. There was a spilled cup of tea and a half finished crumpet sitting before the seat.
"My husband! My husband," she cried out repeatedly in a shrill voice. "He's gone! He's disappeared!"
The Doctor pulled a pair of round spectacles from his jacket pocket, placing them squarely on the bridge of his prominent nose. He quickly made his way around the table examining each detail.
"Disappeared? Could you explain a little more?" Clara repeated trying to make sense of the situation.
The Doctor grabbed the cloth napkin sitting in the chair. He examined it then dropped it, watching as it fell back into place. Next he dipped his middle finger into the pool of spilled tea. Taking a quick sniff he tasted it.
"Earl Grey, and a blueberry scone…"
"Crumpet," Clara quickly corrected.
"There's a difference?" he grabbed the pastry taking a bite, "can't taste it… You're sure?"
Clara shrugged. "Trust," she reminded him politely. A large grin crept across his lips, and he waved his finger in her direction.
Without a word the Doctor pulled he sonic screwdriver from his pocket and pointed it toward the empty chair. After a moment he flicked his wrist to examine the results.
"Nothing," he mumbled under his breath before tucking the device securely back into his jacket pocket.
It was at about that moment that a large black SUV pulled up alongside the café. A large blue light flashed from the dashboard. From the back seat of the vehicle Kate Stewart emerged.
"Doctor!" she called, "we've been expecting you. Pleasure to see you again, although I wish it were under more pleasant circumstances." She extended her hand in his direction as a means of exchanging pleasantries.
"Kate Lethbridge-Stewart," the Doctor nodded toward her, ignoring her desire for a handshake, "it's been awhile. You remember Clara." He motioned toward his companion. "Clara, Kate. Kate, Clara…"
"Hello," Clara cooed with a slight wave toward the rather official looking woman. Kate nodded in her direction.
"Now you said you've been expecting me, why? What brings U.N.I.T. here? What do you all know?" The Doctor poked out a long boney finger, bopping the woman square on the nose before leaning back and crossing his arms, intently listening.
Kate took a deep breath trying to collect herself after the Doctor's rather unusual greeting. Sighing, she briefly surveyed the scene. "Well we've had a number of mysterious disappearances over the last several weeks. At first we weren't sure exactly what was happening, though now our scientists have an admittedly 'fantastic' theory," she stressed the word.
"Theory? That's the problem with you humans… Always throwing around theories… Well, what is it? This idea of yours?"
Kate was clearly not amused by the Doctor's tone, though she continued. "Random Quantum Teleportation… An object dematerializes on a quantum level and instantly reappears somewhere else in the universe."
The Doctor let out a laugh. "Oh, infant science! It's so cute how they keep trying to solve the puzzle of the universe. But you know as well as I do, that explanation is impossible!" he responded, "the length of time needed for that to occur randomly, even just once, is astronomical… Longer than the universe has existed."
"Trust me, I know! But we're fairly certain that this is exactly what's happening, and what's more disturbing is that is has happened multiple times and with increasing frequency."
"How? How can you be certain?" he studied the woman intently, glancing briefly in Clara's direction.
"There was a survivor. One of the people to disappear reappeared in Cardiff."
"Well I guess that's better than Swansea," the Doctor interrupted, snickering at his own wit. Clara let out a subtle laugh, but immediately realized the inappropriateness of such a thing, and covered her mouth with her hand. Kate frowned, crossing her arms in annoyance. She paused for a moment, ensuring she refocused the Doctor's attention back to herself.
"Yes well, moving on, he reappeared in a field outside of Cardiff. No memory of the event. Obviously he was confused and disoriented, we observed him for several days in U.N.I.T.'s medical facility. His account of what happened led to our scientists to the theory of Random Quantum Teleportation."
"Well then I suggest you hire new scientists. According to the math, for even one quantum teleportation to occur would require more time to have passed than the universe is old. Additionally to have multiple 'random' teleportations in such close proximity to one another would be utterly impossible." The Doctor tucked his glasses into his coat pocket, before running his fingers through his hair, a habit he had of doing when he thought he looked cool.
"Nonetheless I think you should come with us," Kate responded tersely without acknowledging the Doctor's statements. She turned abruptly and made her way back to the SUV. Without even looking back she snapped her fingers toward the two who jumped, quickly making their way toward the vehicle.