Shattered Resplendence

A/N: Inspired by Sia's "Soon We'll Be Found"

Not once had Riza ever cried when it concerned her tattoo. Getting it hadn't been particularly painful, mostly by coincidence that her father was neither sadist nor (somewhat more importantly) tattoo artist. She had questioned plenty of times whether or not she was doing the right thing, but every time, she came to the conclusion that it was done and she couldn't question it at those points.

She wasn't even particularly bothered by baring it to Roy. She trusted him. It was an obsessive sort of trust, though—if she couldn't cling to his honesty and nobility, what did she have left now?

And yet—there it was, always lurking around the corner; and yet—just as Roy shut his notebook, a tear slipped out. Then another. One more, two, three… She took a shaky breath to steady herself, but Roy heard and swore softly.

"I'm fine," she whispered automatically, unable to say the lie any louder.

Roy ignored this. "I'll burn it and just forget all of it. Never speak of it again."

Riza shook her head. "No." Though her voice broke, the vehemence with which she said it spoke for itself. "If I can't trust you, who can I trust?"

"Can you trust me? I have to know, Riza. If you can't, for whatever reason, I'll make sure I can never be made to tell anyone about any of this." Roy was desperate now, seeing the consequences of his ambition.

Riza nodded miserably, back to being unable to say anything.

"Then please, tell me what's wrong," Roy pleaded. "If I can do anything at all, I need to."

"I don't know… I…" Riza sniffled, choked back a sob, then tried to think. And then, suddenly, it hit her. "I'm dirty."

Roy stepped back, as though he'd been slapped. "Because I saw…?" He couldn't even complete the sentence. "Riza, why didn't you say—"

"It's not that," she interrupted quickly. "I'm ugly. I.. How will…Who would accept…" It sounded like such a silly worry, not having "flawless" skin, but it wasn't just that—in one fell swoop, Riza and her father had made sure that she would be almost assured to never be able to be intimate with anyone for fear that the secret would be out.

Putting the pieces together, Roy cursed again. "You are not ugly. You are beautiful, and I've thought that since the first day I was here, before I knew about any of this, and this doesn't change a thing. I…" He faltered, then started again. "I can't make any commitments to you save one: you will always be beautiful to me, tattoo or no. It doesn't change who you are, and that's… you're…" Once again, Roy was at a loss for words. It wasn't that he didn't know what he wanted to say, but if ever there was a list of worst-possible times to tell someone you love them, this certainly was on it.

Instead, he sat down beside her and gently put his arms around her. Almost instantly, Riza leaned against him, and for a moment, both of them forgot all the pain and sadness of the last few days.

Riza shivered. Without a word, Roy grabbed her shirt, handed it to her, and left the room. What a fine mess they were in now.

It was pointless to ask what to do now, though. They just had to keep moving forward.

A/N: After many months, I have risen from the slow death that is being a Computer Science major combined with writer's block. Rusty? Maybe, but I really wanted to write this. Honestly, it comes from a place I know all too well—insecurity about my body. I've been able to move past it a lot in the past few years, especially in the past year and a half, though, but it takes time, or else I would have had a better resolution to that here.

Also, I wanted SO, SO, SO FRICKIN' BADLY for Roy to be able to promise he'd never let anyone hurt Riza because of this, but, well, it's kind of a lie. She does get hurt. Hell, she's hurting just then because of it. *sigh*…

As usual, let me know what you think.