I wrote this at like 1am and made myself rather sad while doing so. Personally I don't think bad things should ever happen to Howince, it's my happy otp. But this little headcanon of mine has been knocking around in my mindtank for ages and I needed to get it out of my system.

Anyway yeah, review me or whatever.

And I obviously don't own anything. Apparently meeting Noel Fielding for twenty seconds outside his show last week doesn't count as ownership.

Bad Dreams

Howard was woken up by the sound of whimpering. He rubbed his eyes and yawned, looking over at the other side of the room when he heard a choked sob. The dim light of Vince's lava lamp illuminated the younger man squirming on his bed, sheets tangled around his limbs, clearly in distress.

"Vince?" Howard whispered, sitting up.

Vince merely sobbed again. Howard got out of bed and tiptoed to the other side of the room. Close up he could see the distraught look on Vince's face, the tear tracks down his cheeks, but he was still very much asleep.

"Vince?" Howard said a bit louder, nudging his best friend's shoulder. "Vince... Vince, wake up."

"Howard!"

Vince sat up suddenly, eyes wide with panic, and immediately wrapped his arms around Howard tightly before the older man could do anything about it. Howard wasn't sure what to do with himself, and he had an overwhelming urge to say "Don't touch me!" but he held his tongue. It wasn't until he felt Vince weeping against his shoulder that Howard finally wrapped his arms around him, rubbing his trembling back as comfortingly as he could.

"Shhh, it's okay, Vince," he said gently. "It's okay. You were just having a bad dream, little man."

"No!" Vince cried, his voice muffled against Howard's pyjama shirt. "It w-wasn't! It wasn't a – a dream! It was – it was – oh, Howard!"

Vince dissolved into tears before he could get the rest his words out, crying even harder. Howard didn't think it was even possible for Vince to be this upset, and he couldn't imagine what could have caused it.

Howard sat down on the edge of the bed so he could hold Vince more comfortably. He shushed his best friend and rocked him gently, rubbing small circles on his back until Vince's crying subsided into the occasional sob and sniffle.

"You're alright, little man. It was just a bad dream, nothing to worry yourself about. It was only a dream."

Vince shook his head, pulling away from Howard and roughly wiping the tears off his face. He looked small and fragile, and sadder than Howard had ever seen. It was heartbreaking.

"It wasn't only a bad dream," he said in a small voice. "Not really. You don't understand, Howard. My usual bad dreams are just normal things I can get over easily, like zombies trying to eat my hair or Jagger working in B&Q. This was different. This was... a memory."

Howard couldn't think of a single bad thing that had ever happened to Vince, certainly not anything bad enough to cause this level of distress. Bad things usually only happened to Howard, not the Sunshine Kid.

"Do you... do you remember back at the zoo?" Vince asked, rubbing his eyes on the back of his hand. "When Bollo was really sick and he was gonna die, and Fossil made you dress up as a gorilla so that old lady would keep sponsoring him , but then death came for you by accident?"

"Erm... yeah, vaguely," said Howard. "I mean, it was years ago now. But that turned out alright in the end, didn't it? You saved me from Monkey Hell and everything was okay."

Vince shook his head again, anxiously playing with his messy black hair. "You don't get it, Howard. I was the one who found you, when you... when you... died." Tears welled in his eyes once again, and his voice was barely a whisper. "I found you in the gorilla enclosure. You still had your mask on and you were propped up against the wall, I thought – I thought you were just sleeping or something. I tried to wake you up, Howard. I tried for ages and ages but you wouldn't wake up and... and you'd gone all... cold."

Vince took a shaky breath, wiping away his fresh tears. Howard couldn't quite believe what he was hearing.

"But... but I saw you, Vince. While I was in limbo, and when I was haunting you. You seemed... fine. Everybody did. And I wasn't even dead for that long before you rescued me."

Vince looked up, eyes wide with disbelief. "Weren't gone for that long? Howard, I dunno what it was like on your end, but you were gone for weeks. Nobody else really gave a toss, so I had to pretend like I wasn't fussed either. I couldn't be seen crying all over the zoo, I had a reputation and that. But I missed you. I had to plan your funeral, Howard! And I made a right mess of it too, because it had no one helping me, no one else cared! I barely slept at all after... after you... you left me. Especially on the nights I had to stay in the keeper's hut all by myself, all your stuff still there. Every time I shut my eyes I'd see you lying in the gorilla enclosure, and I'd be trying to wake you up for hours and hours, and then I'd wake up crying and there'd be no one there..."

Vince started to cry again, and Howard gathered the little man up in his arms, holding him close. As far as Howard could remember, dying hadn't been particularly painful for him. Death had come towards him and then suddenly he was sitting in the back of a cab driving toward his accidental afterlife. It didn't even feel as if he'd been gone a full day, so of course he didn't think about what his death had done to Vince – Vince, who had put together the most slapdash of funerals, Vince, who was his usual cheery and carefree self when Howard came to haunt him, Vince, who came tearing into Monkey Hell to rescue him without a plan or even any means of defending himself... why hadn't he spared a thought for Vince?

Everything had seemed quite normal after he'd come back from the dead, Howard had been sure of it. But then he remembered their first night sleeping on the floor of the keeper's hut, how Vince's sleeping bag had been set up a bit closer to his than usual, how he'd woken up that morning to find Vince sound asleep but clutching onto the cuff of Howard's pyjamas like a vice. How had he not seen it?

"Oh, Vince," he said sadly, holding the crying man as tightly as he dared. "I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry. Why didn't you tell me?"

"I didn't wanna worry you," Vince murmured against his shoulder. "Bad things don't happen to me."

Howard felt like crying himself, but having the both of them in tears wouldn't help anybody. Instead he did the only thing that seemed to make any sense in that moment, and kissed the top of Vince's head. Howard noted that Vince's hair smelt like overpriced shampoo and the sugary scent of walking into a sweet shop. It was rather pleasant. He couldn't remember the last time he'd hugged Vince, which was a shame, he thought. Vince's slight little body fit into his arms like a puzzle piece. He really ought to hug Vince more often. It would probably do them both a lot of good.

"Howard?"

"Yeah, little man?"

Vince pulled away from their embrace to look up at him, his eyes big and round and bloodshot from crying. Howard had never felt so... protective. He didn't want Vince to ever look this upset again, it was downright unnatural. Vince's face was meant for wide, excited smiles and jovial laughter, not sadness or hurt or the fear of being left alone – how could he have left his little man all alone?

"Can I... I mean, if it's alright with you, Howard, you don't have to say yes, but... can I sleep in your bed tonight?"

Howard didn't even have to think about it. "Of course you can."

Vince smiled at that. It was only a small smile, but it was enough to make Howard feel like his heart had skipped a beat. He led Vince over to his side of the bedroom, getting under the covers first before letting Vince slip in beside him. Vince curled up right against Howard, resting his head on Howard's chest, his ear pressed right against his heartbeat. Howard wrapped his arms around Vince once more, softly stroking his hair to sooth him back to sleep.

"Howard?"

"Mmhmm?"

"I love you a bit."

Howard smiled, taking Vince's small hand in his and kissing his palm. He heard Vince sigh, and gave him a little squeeze.

"I love you too, Vince. And I won't ever leave you again."

"D'you promise?"

"I promise. No more bad dreams for you, little man. I'm not going anywhere, no sir."

Hope you enjoyed all the feels, Humble Readers

xxx