What is the date now? Does it even matter anymore? Confined to the darkness...this cold room of gray stone and nightmares...I feel my mind being pulled back to that terrible place, that place of never ending fear enshrouded in sick beauty every time I lay myself to sleep on the freezing ground. My memories are wild in the waking moments and I am in a constant state of saturnine, broken by flashes of anger or paranoia. All I can think about is the series of events that led me here, starting from my own accursed decision so long ago, when I was too foolish for my own good. Though I long to dream about what might have been, I have made the decision to dedicate my last breaths to retelling what has happened to me in this little book, this miraculous possession I thought I had lost in the castle...
But I must make haste with this task I've put before me, before it's too late, in hopes to achieve my dying wish: to bring justice upon those who did this to me. Whether Heaven or Hell awaits my soul, I don't have the heart to care, but if I must burn for eternity, then they will all burn with me.
I breathe, I recollect, I venture back into the demon lair known as Castle Lacoste...

I begin not too far from where I last wrote in this diary, the count had recovered to his fullest and life was becoming routine for me. I would wake from a comfortable sleep, go to the kitchens for breakfast, read of scientific odyssey in the library, and spend the rest of the day pursuing my own experiments in the workroom set aside for my use, taking the briefest pauses for the late meal a servant would deliver to my rooms. Then I would either fall asleep on my desk or somehow find the strength to call it a night and stumble down the hall into my bedroom. When I was happiest, I wouldn't sleep at all; or rather, when I felt close to some new point in my studies the idea of sleep seemed like a waste of precious time. For some reason I had thought to associate sleep with depression, perhaps because of my habit to nap when I was too downhearted, or because I never tired when I was happy.
But one particular day I was found hunched over my medical journal and a few of the library books by Lexaeus, who shook me awake with somewhat gentle nudging.
"Good morning doctor." he said as I came out of my doze and mumbled some sort of similar greeting. "The count requests that you join him for breakfast, I advise you do not keep him waiting."
I was stretching out the soreness in my back, and I responded,
"Count Marluxia needs to see me? Is something the matter?"
"Hurry into something presentable and make your way to the parlor. I will show you the way only once."
"Once? I had thought he merely wanted..."
"Do not keep him waiting."
That was all I could find out, even after I had changed and was being led to the room the count expected me in. I could not decide if Lexaeus' silence was due to some quirk in his nature or a general dislike for me. I didn't care much either way, but it would have been better to know what I was getting into.
The way to the parlor was far, but not hard to memorize, and the door Lexaeus halted at was a few doors away from the Count's sleeping chambers. After a few sharp raps on the large doors, Count Marluxia's voice sounded from inside.
"Come in doctor." He sounded clearer and deeper in his good health, which I secretly took credit for. As I opened the door I saw Count Marluxia sitting back in his chair as Zexion set the table for two. When his task was completed, he bowed and left, the door shutting with a loud 'click'.
"Have a seat doctor," he said with a wave and a smile, "I'm glad you could visit." I thought it an inappropriate choice of words seeing as how he, my employer, ordered me to come. I waited for him to begin eating before I touched anything in front of me, I felt that in his presence my every act was being closely inspected, but I passed it off as the general discomfort between people of different ranks.
"It's been so long," he said, "since we've had a man of science in the castle. Tell me doctor, where did you receive your education?
"In a monastery near my village."
He sipped his tea and raised an eyebrow.
"Are you a holy man then, Dr. Vexen?"
"Hardly." I didn't think that was the way someone was expected to talk to a nobleman, so I added, "I was able to get an education from a few of the monks, they did not stress religion on me as they now think they should have."
"An atheist then?
"Naturally." Again, I didn't know if my speech was too forward or familiar, but the castle's lord just chuckled and said,
"Naturally...of course. You and I are alike in that aspect, my good doctor."
He asked me questions about my work, about my studies, about what interested me, to all of it I answered honestly and eagerly. But then my tongue slipped on me,
"Then what interests you, Count Marluxia?"
He looked shocked at first, people of lower classes are expressly forbidden to ask questions of their superiors, but his expression returned to light contentment just as quickly. My tongue hurt from having clamped my teeth on it.
"What interests me? Poetry...and people I suppose..." he lifted his cup to his lips, "and flowers." he drank.
The meal concluded and Zexion came to clear the table. I was sent on my way.
"I would very much like to see you tomorrow, Dr. Vexen."
I nodded, meeting his eye for a second. A very peculiar, very bright, pair of blue eyes held my gaze.
I thought no more of any of this for the rest of the day; unlike my employer, I had little interest in 'people'.
These meetings, though an inconvenience to my work, were gradually embedded into my routine. I daresay I began to look forward to them, for the count was an interesting man and he seemed perpetually curious with my work, forever asking what I was studying or experimenting with, though other days he felt the need to gossip to me like an old crone about people he knew from distant places, higher ups from other castles and lines of nobility. It was a few weeks since my first visit when I tested the ice with a second question,
"Why did you ask me to come here?"
Count Marluxia blinked and set down his cup and saucer.
"Beg pardon?"
The ice, it seemed, was thinner than I thought.
"I only mean that...it seems unusual to me that a lord such as yourself would associate with someone who wasn't equal in class with you."
"I see." He stood up, I slowly remembered that I couldn't sit while a lord was standing and rose as well. "So tell me, my good doctor," he was now wandering about the room in a path that did circles around me, "being such a lord, do you think I need to explain myself to someone who, as you mentioned, in not my equal in rank or station?" I had hoped with all my heart he was being rhetorical, for I wouldn't have known what to say. "I will tell you, Dr. Vexen, something you cannot find in any book ever written. Look outside, you see past the hedge maze is a formation of mountains, beyond that is a village, beyond that is miles and miles of field and forest stretching out to the boundaries of the next province. Not one bit of it, not one blade of grass or hair on a common head belongs to anyone but me. Not to any god, not even to King Xemnas, but to me, the Count of Castle Lacoste." He faced away from me, towards a large cabinet against the wall which he began to open. "So I'll tell you what I think of these rules of formality that keep society together." He withdrew a bottle of wine and two glasses. "I don't give a damn." He poured the wine and offered a goblet to me like an honored guest. "There are no courtiers to keep me company, and my wife doesn't enjoy the art of conversation that intellectuals, such as you and I, take pleasure in. These lands are my empire, and if I so choose to spend my morning meal with my court physician, let anyone tell me otherwise."
The most sensible thought in my head was that it was too early to have such a rich drink, the rest of my senses were in a state of confusion.
"Do others in the nobility share your sentiments?" He sighed at my question,
"Few and far between. That's why I've learned that there are times to play the Game, and there are times to play games. Right now, Vexen, is the time to play games."
He raised his glass up high.
"Drink, laugh, be merry, and enjoy life in its passion...and its madness."
Confused and unsure, I drank to that with him. He put the half-finished bottle away when Zexion came to clear the table.
"As for your question, doctor," he was smiling calmly once again, all traces of outburst vanished into the air, "I believe that you are a man of great intelligence, poise, and virtue. Why should I not desire to pass my time with such a companion?"
I thought for a long while on all of this for the rest of the day, and I didn't know why his words both inspired and frightened me.

The next morning I was recollecting a dream. I didn't dream very often, when I did they were hardly memorable, but this one was powerful and vivid. From what I remembered, I was in my workroom looking out the window to see a black shrouded fiend, waving a torch in one hand and the reigns of two mighty black horses in the other. The creature howled in mad triumph as it drove a caravan hooded by a black tarp. Then as it disappeared, I heard a sharp scream and then... nothing.
I came quickly to the parlor, and made my entrance just as Zexion was leaving. The table was set for three.
"Will the countess be joining us?" I now felt I could ask whatever I wanted.
"Hm? Oh no, Larxene enjoys breakfast in solitude. The Captain of my guard has returned from a little errand I sent him on; I was hoping to introduce you both."
I took my seat at his side and faced the door in anticipation for the arrival of the third man. Count Marluxia stared intently at the door, obviously amused.
"He's an interesting fellow," he told me, "but has a few key flaws, one of them is his curse of being at least five minutes late for everything. Sugar and cream for your tea?"
"Thank you, sir."
Soon the door abruptly flew open with a loud crash and a tall man all but fell into the room.
"Sorry I'm late, Lexaeus just woke me up a few minutes ago and my..."
A moment passed where he observed me and I observed him. After all I had seen of Lacoste's meticulously designed elegance and Count Marluxia's own taste in refinement and beauty, the intrusion of this wild creature was hardly expected; he was tall, thin, pale as death, and sported a pair of markings under his eyes that reminded me of uncivilized bands of heathens who branded themselves as a sort of ritual. His hair was red, an untamed mess that flew in each direction and his eyes were a brighter green than my own. He gracelessly sat in the remaining chair and turned to the count to say,
"So, what do we have here?" He tactlessly pointed at me like an out of place miscreant! Count Marluxia idly stirred his tea with a silver spoon and responded,
"This would be the new Court Physician, Dr. Vexen. Vexen, I'm pleased to introduce you to my most loyal guard, Axel."
"A pleasure." I said stiffly.
"No, no," he said, downing the tea in a gulp, "the pleasure is mine."
My pride still intact, I asked the count what sort of errand Axel had been sent on. The head of guard answered,
"You wouldn't believe me if I told you."
I raised an eyebrow to his challenge,
"Try me," I said, mustering my confidence, "I've seen and heard many unbelievable things in my life."
When Axel sneered, I glared, when his eyes flickered from the count to me, I steadfastly locked my gaze on him, edging him on in my own way. Then Axel answered with,
"I was getting him more flowers for his precious labyrinth garden. It's degrading work actually, finding all those weeds for his obsessive lordship." He needlessly and rudely pointed his thumb at the count, who was watching the exchange passively and didn't so much as blink as his 'loyal guard' blatantly insulted him. But Axel didn't even stop there, he felt the need to add in, "But at least I can actually enjoy the outside, instead of rotting away in a boring life of musty old books."
"I am a doctor. While you were 'enjoying the outside' I was curing the count and many of the staff here of a deadly plague."
"So you think that you're a saint then, don't you? Did Fate make you some kind of miracle man? Can you cure everything?!"
An edge of hysteria none to subtly crept into his tone, giving it an animal-like quality, "You know nothing at all! If you think that you can cheat death, then you must be the most ignorant man alive! You're a fool, you old man! A fool!"
The count cleared his throat loudly.
"Axel," he said cheerfully, "Zexion said earlier you got me a present."
My ego bruised and my rage building, I almost told Axel off anyway, but he stood and headed towards the door, muttering something about going to get it.
I was no fool. My life was a quest to discover answers to all life's questions, my purpose was to cure the sick and dying, thus lessening the suffering of the world and pushing back the inevitable...human expiration date. My position, in my mind, was far above that of a simple errand boy who was forced to go wherever his lord desired, even to as menial a task as collecting garden flowers. The occupation of doctor was even above that of a lord, who is born into the role without having to struggle for it. I was most certainly not a fool.