I Can't Handle It Anymore. ~a nouis fanfic~ ~angst/suicide~

Louis couldn't handle it anymore. He couldn't stand making it through the day with out that little ball of energy by his side. He didn't feel complete. Like a puzzle missing it's piece. As hard as he tried, as much as the boys tried to comfort him; he couldn't be the same anymore.

His laughter had went away the moment he heard the news. All traces of happiness left him when he saw that dreaded black casket being lowered into the cold November ground. He was left lifeless and emotionless.

The only time he would show any type of emotion was infront of the fans. He'd put on a sad smile when people sent their sympathy for all of them. But when they came back in from outside, Louis would just become stone again. No reactions for anything.

Harry manged to only get a small smile out of the Doncaster boy a few months after the accident by tripping over the coffee table in their hotel room, causing him to throw the bowl of popcorn directly onto Zayn's head who started screaming about how ' his perfection was all greasy and messed up '

The smile only lasted a second, catch only by Liam who told the boys later, hoping that this was a start for Lou.

But sadly, no.

Louis would never be the same again.

And everyone knew that.

Most nights, one of them would hear the saddest sounds coming from the blue eyed boys room. Heart wrenching sobs and moans would echo through the hallways of which ever hotel they were staying at.

Of course, their management made them keep preforming. That's how evil they were. Asking four teenage boys to preform without their bestfriend.. that's too much too ask. But they had a contract. They had to keep going.

At every concert, Louis seemed to forget about the blonde haired boy for a short period of time, preoccupied by the adrenaline rushing through his veins. But then, he'd look over to were the boy would be standing to give him a smile, only for it to fall from his face as he remember.

Right.

He's gone.

Fans found it heartbreaking when they saw Louis just standing there, staring into space with tears in his eyes. Management told him not to do that, it upsetted people. Louis tried not to, but he just couldn't.

On a chilly April day, they found Louis hanging from their hotel rooms ceiling.

Harry had found him first. He had walked into the room simply to ask the boy if he wanted some tea, when from the corner of his eye he saw him, just dangling there.

Liam said he had never heard anyone scream so loud in his life.

Police arrived only minutes later, asking questions about the man and what could have made him do this.

All the boys knew, but they simply just shrugged, saying that didn't know. They knew Louis wouldn't had wanted them to tell anyone.

Under Louis' pillow, they found four notes, one for each of them.

Dear Hazza,

Oh Harry. We've had the greatest of times, haven't we? Larry Stylinson, side by side forever. You were my bestfriend, correction, will always be my bestfriend. Because even though I'm gone, I will still always be in your heart. You're going to do great things Harry. I know you will. Don't drop everything just because I'm not there anymore. You are too talent and amazing for that. I love you Harry Edward Styles, forever in my heart. xx Boobear

Dear DJ Malik,

Vain Zayn. I'm actually gonna miss you the most. Even though we weren't as close as me and Harry, I thought of you as a bigger brother. Haha, I know. Sounds weird coming from a guy older than you. But Zayn, you protected me from everything. You made me feel safe. You always knew when to make me smile, and I thank you for that. I give you the sassy-crown now. Be the sassiest you can be. Keep up the amazayn work bebz. I'll miss you. xx Tommo

Dear Daddy Direction,

Oh god, where do I start with you? Liam, you have been the nicest, sweetest guy I've ever meet. You kept me in line. You made me feel better. Please don't ever change. Make sure to take care of Harry and Zayn okay? Those two are crazeh. I hope you well in life, Liam. I truely mean it. You deserve it. Send Danielle my blessing on your guy's baby. If it's a boy, make sure you name it after me, okay? Love you Leeyum. xx Lewis

The final card, the boys didn't open. But they knew what it said. Louis was an open book, they knew what his final words would be to the Irish lad.

Dear Nialler,

I can't handle it anymore babe. I need to see that beautiful smile of yours. I can't take not waking up to your face every morning, not being able to hear your laugh, and not being able to kiss your perfect pink lips. The boys will do fine without me, so I decided that it'd be fine if I came to you. I'm coming Niall. I'll be there soon. xx Your Sweetcheeks.

Louis William Tomlinson was pronounced dead at 12:43 p.m on April 24th 2015.

Strangely enough, that was the exact time Niall had died five months earlier.