Everything made him think of her. Any girl with blond hair, any girl he saw working in a shop, any girl holding hands with a smiling young man. All of it made him die a little inside, made him feel like the world was slowly crumbling underneath him. Because, in a way, it was. She was gone. And all because he'd failed once more. There was nothing he ever did that didn't end up with the people he loved vanishing, or dying, or much worse.
He looked around the almost empty street, leaning back on the police box, his gaze drifting from person to person. How did they do it? How did humans deal with the same old life each day? Lives filled with sadness, anger, and death? He knew that he never could do that. Especially now the girl he loved was dead to this world. Dead to him; and he hated himself for thinking in such a way. She was alive, but what was the point if thinking so if she couldn't be there for him to hold? To smile at? To hold her hand? To tell her that she was brilliant? To hear her laugh? To see that smile paint itself across her beautiful face?
There was no point. She could never come back. He could never go back for her, not without destroying the world he tried so hard to protect for over nine hundred years.
It would be worth it, though. If he could see her- hold her- just one more time, even if it meant the end of everything, he wouldn't mind.
That wasn't an option, though. He couldn't put himself first; not this time, not ever. It wasn't how things worked. He didn't always like it, but it was the pain that kept him both held back and going forward. No matter how many times he wanted to stop something because it was unfair to him, he did nothing, because that's how it was meant to be. No matter what he felt for whatever person, he accepts their fate and moves on. If living without her was what he was faced with, one of the worst things he could think of, then so be it.
The pain would probably never end, but what could he do? Time has its laws, and they had to be obeyed. There was no going back this time. So he had no choice but to go forward.
Sighing, he turned around and opened the doors of the old blue police box. He looked around, taking in the sight of oldest companion. He walked up to the console and took off, not sure where he would go. He didn't want to forget about her. He wanted to forget the pain. He didn't know how, exactly, but hopefully something would happen and make it hurt a little less.