You sighed as you took a break, settling yourself into the soft sofa. Smirking knowing that it was Ivan's favorite. Russia, -Ivan's country name- hated it when anyone sat in his sofa. You even popped open a bottle of vodka and poured some for yourself, sipping it gingerly. You rested your eyes, working for Russia had its ups and downs. Even though you had to clean up after everybody, you didn't mind doing it for most of them. Lithuania, Estonia and Latvia all tried to do their best to not make too much of a mess, same goes for Ukraine. But sadly with her breasts being as big as they were, she always seemed to break or spill something especially when she and her little sister Belarus come over for dinner.

You didn't mind picking up after them over all; anyways your biggest job was rushing around checking the security cameras to keep Belarus from bothering her big brother. Natalia is a pain in the butt, and since she didn't scare you much, you ended up being the one to wrestle her out of the house when she did sneak in. It may not look like it from your slender figure, but you were packing some massive inhuman strength in those arms and legs. You couldn't stand Natalia most of the time, but you had somewhat of a mutual understanding.

After your first wrestle with her, she decided that you were respectable and you respected her for her affection for her big brother, though it was a bit obsessive. There was a knock on the door, and you called out, "Who's there?"

"Uh…it's Toris!" Lithuania called out.

"Oh! Come on in Lithy!" You called out his nickname.

You walked in with a smile and then it dropped as he saw what you were doing, and trembled fearfully, "_-_...You really shouldn't be doing that." He said cautiously in a whisper.

You smiled kindly at your best friend, "Don't worry Toris, besides Russia knows I am the only one who's insane enough to do this. Besides, he knows who keeps his little sister out. He owes me since he doesn't pay me." You laughed. "You really are absurd." He chuckled and walked over to me. "You wanna sit down?" You asked. He shook his head, "I wouldn't dare." "You can sit in my lap." I teased temptingly. He blushed a bright red, and you laughed and closed up the bottle and straightened the wrinkles in the cushion after standing, then you turned to him and kissed his cheek. "Don't worry about me, I'm a big girl Lithuania." He caressed your cheek, and then took your hands, "I know, but you're my best friend and I don't know what I'd do without you."

You hugged him close, causing you to hide the small blush you had. You had cared for Lithuania for a while. Ever since you began your work here, you couldn't exactly remember when you began, but you always had this image of a big brother of yours…at least you thought he was…He was blonde…you remembered, but that's about it. "Alright, I won't take anymore of his vodka today." You assured your brunette friend.

"Thanks."

Then a motion from one of the camera screens caught your eye, "Gotta go Lithy, Ruse is here." You said, calling her own nickname from you. He dashed away asking him to put away the bottle for you. You took off and found her trying to get in from a window.

She got in the room stealthily, but she wasn't staying for long. Thankfully you had hid behind a corner, she walked out the door, and you threw a canvas bag over her, giving her a crushing 'Russia Hug' as you called it. "AAH! _! I'll kill you, you bitch!" Ruse screeched and hissed. She was like a rabid cat, with nails like thick needles sharpened to a point, or so they felt. You dragged her down stairs and tossed her outside, she charged towards the door, but you wrestled her to the ground pinning her arms down. You wiped your sweat off your face as she kicked and squirmed. She wrapped a leg around your neck forcing you to flip suddenly, then she was on top, and you bucked up, causing her to somersault over you and you got on top and sat on her back and put her hands behind your head. And you waited for her to weaken down, "Well that was fun," you said, "so I'll see you at the family meeting on Friday night?" She nodded and breathed out submissively, "Yes."

"Alright, see you then. What would you like to eat?" You asked as you helped her up, Ruse was thoughtful for a second and then said, "For Friday uzhin (dinner), can we have pelmeni?" She asked. You nodded, "Sure no problem." She nodded then punched you in the face, and took off. You sighed, it didn't hurt that bad. She had definitely done worse before. You walked back inside and you heard shouting upstairs. You ran back up and you saw Russia yelling at Lithuania, who was cowering by the couch. Ivan was about to land another blow on Toris, when you pushed Ivan away, making the bigger man stumble. "STOP IT YOU JERK! WHY DON'T YOU PICK ON SOMEONE YOUR OWN SIZE! OR YOU CAN AT LEAST PICK A FIGHT WITH SOMEONE WHO CAN FIGHT BACK!"

You wished you hadn't said that, because that was a major blow to Lithuania's ego. But you couldn't focus on that right now, you just had to hope that he would forgive you. You pushed the bigger man further away from Toris, "What's wrong with you Russia! What in the hell did he do to you!"

Russia growled, "He drank some of my vodka!"

"No I did! So if you're going to punish someone, punish me! I'm the one who deserves it!" You screamed at him. Russia glared at you, fuming with anger. You could almost see the dark purple aura radiating around him. He raised his fist about to knock the wind out of you; you stood strong with proud defiant eyes, daring him to hit you. You both stood there for a moment, the silence was deafening, but at last he looked away angrily, "I will punish you later. Just leave my sight, NOW!" You grabbed up Lithuania and helped him out of there. You were in the clinical room, ordering Latvia and Estonia to get you different ointments or more gauze so you can patch up your broken down best friend.

Finally, you just had them leave period, and you sat silently with Lithuania, "I'm so sorry Lithy, I had no idea he would find out about it so soon. And I didn't think he would beat on you for it."

"_-_, he can't…he wouldn't ever hurt you." He said softly.

"Why?" You asked.

"I-I can't…I'm sworn to secrecy."

"Does this have anything to do about my past?"

He looked away from you, trying to avoid your gaze, which confirmed your belief. "Why won't any of you guys tell me? Why Lithy? I won't to know! Who is that big brother of mine that I keep seeing in my dreams? The blonde boy."

"You…you see him?" He asked.

You nodded, "Sometimes I get flashes. There's me holding his hand, sometimes he's carrying me…He's always buying me things like cute little dresses. There's someone else with him to…but…gawd I can't remember. All I know is that he's blonde."

"I'm sorry _. I promised never to say a single word."

You nodded and sighed sadly, "It's okay Toris, I understand."

You leaned in and were about to kiss his forehead but the door burst open, and Russia stood there, his stance indicated your impending punishment.

"_-_..." He said, holding your hand tight.

"I'll be fine you know me." You said trying to keep a smile on your face, you pulled away, and Russia put an arm around your waist tightly. Shivers of fear crept across your skin. He led you into his room, and told you to stand by your bed. You did so then he forced you to lean over. You were beginning to understand, but you feared the worst. "Pull down your pants."

You obeyed his orders, and your silky red underwear covered your bottom. "Good. Now close your eyes and hold the side of the bed."

You bit down on your bottom lip for a second, but did so.

SMACK!

You gritted your teeth as the pain struck you to the core, you would not cry out if it was the last thing you do.

SMACK!

His hand crashed across your ass once more. The pain singed you bottom.

Each smack came one after the other with increasing force and outstanding momentum. After half an hour, you could tell his hand was hurting, but he didn't give up.

He then switched sides and used his other hand, "I'm better with this one anyways." He said.

Your eyes widened in fear, thankfully he couldn't see it but, if he had lasted half an hour with the first one, who knows how long he could last with his dominant one.

You could do nothing but let his strong hand crash painfully against your reddening rear. After five minutes your pain screamed out as if on fire, and your legs began to tremble, you had been in this position for way to long. You were so weak you collapsed, yet you didn't cry. "Up!" He barked.

But you couldn't…your legs wouldn't allow it.

"UP!" He shouted louder.

"_-_!" Estonia and Latvia's voices asked behind the door in worry.

"LEAVE!" Russia shouted angrily.

Their footsteps scurried away.

"UP!" He yelled and you finally did so, though you still trembled. He then landed an extra harsh swat across your ass. You trembled and each time you fell, he yelled at you to get back into position.

You fell to the ground again, you couldn't get up, tears screamed to be released but you were…too proud...

"UP!" He yelled and then grabbed your hair and forced you back into position and smacked you again, and then at last you couldn't hold back any longer, you let out a blood curdling scream. "NO! I CAN'T GET UP!" He let you lay there with your ass throbbing, and stinging with such fierceness that if you moved a wave of pain would streak across it your butt and legs.

Finally you started crying when the pain had become so much and your feelings of remorse surrounded you. You could've been lying there for hours but you had no idea. Unexpectedly, strong arms cradled you and you were held against his chest as he sat on the bed. He rubbed his cheek against your forehead, and then brushed his lips against it. They moved becoming firm, that and the dampness of his cheek gave him the impression that he had been crying…That's when you realized that he had been waiting for you to cry, so he could know when you were sorry for what you had done.

He whispered something in your ear as you trembled, he rubbed your slightly arms. You couldn't understand it at first, but then he started repeating it over and over with new tremors.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." He repeated as he rocked me, faster and faster. The words resonated and he began to hiccup. "I just wanted you to learn…I'm so sorry…You-you wouldn't cry…So I thought you hadn't learned." Ivan sobbed. "I'm so sorry!" He wept, holding you tighter and tighter.

You looked at him sadly, but you didn't know what to say. It was too awkward…

"I'm sorry _. I would've stopped sooner had you cried…I just…I never wanted to hurt you so much. It hurts me to see you upset."

You had no idea what you were doing, but you had to shut him up, so you lifted your head and kissed him. The kiss deepened, and your breaths became short and fast, as he unzipped his pants, and he tore off your shirt. He pulled off your panties and shirked off his pants and his own shirt, and without a second thought, he slammed into you, making you scream with intense pain. "RUSSIA!" Your eyes tightened as your walls closed around him, you tried to tell him to be gentler but his thrusts into you feverishly, cutting you off. His name kept erupting from your lips.

A knot of heated fire screamed from your core, "R-RUSSIA!" You yelled. "Ivan!" He said, "Call me Ivan! Please!" He begged, you were flustered you just obeyed him, "IVAN! S-STOP! PLEASE!" But he didn't listen, just kept pounding into you.

Finally you both climaxed, and he let you go, and only then did he realize that you were a virgin. "Oh…Oh Mother Russia…what have I done?"

You were curled into a fetal position and shaking feverously. The tremors wouldn't release you, no matter how you tried to surrender, begging it to leave you. Russia held you again, "I-I'm sorry I didn't I-,"

"No." You hissed.

"Da?" He asked.

"No, you're not sorry…I asked you to stop, I tried to tell you but you wouldn't let me, you had to have me. You didn't even consider that I was waiting for someone special."

"_-_."

"N-no! Enough! No more apologies." You got up weakly and stumbled and fumbled as you pulled on your clothes, or what was left of them and you hurried as fast as you could to your room.

You fell on your bed and cried. The door jiggled and a fist pounded. Russia demanded entrance, he still sounded upset. You saw from one of the screens that he leaned against the door, his fist resting above his head, and his pants was up, but this fly open and his chest was bare and you would've thought it sexy, if you weren't hating every fiber of his being. You were still in pain for the next few days, and when you finally got up and left your room. You were feeling better, since Estonia, Lithuania or Latvia had given you food since you refused to leave your room.

Russia had tried multiple times to get into your room and apologize, but it didn't work.

It was Friday and you had a promise to keep, so you and Lithuania fixed the promised meal.

"Do you still…are you still pain?" Lithuania asked.

"Not really." You lied to Toris.

"_...I know you're lying…Maybe…maybe you should've cried as soon as possible." He said.

"I can't just do that Lithy!" You snapped, tears pricking your eyes.

"I know…you're too strong for that."

"Was that payback for what I said before, about you not being able to fight back?" You asked sadly.

"No. Of course not, you know that I would never do anything like that." He said.

You nodded, and turned away.

"Listen…maybe…I could…Your bro-," Lithy began but stopped when Russia came in and said that everyone was at the table now. You nodded firmly, not looking him in the eyes.

Ivan left and you looked at Toris, "You were saying about my brother?"

"Um…nothing…I'll tell you later."

Dinner was tense, and you were the first to finish, "I'm turning in for the night." You said to no one in particular.

A few hours later, Lithuania came in and said, "_...I've been thinking…You need to get away from here. Your brother wrote to me…I told him what's been going on…He wants you back home."

"Wh-What?" You said.

Lithy nodded, "I will come and get you in a few hours. Be sure to be ready."

You nodded and he left.

A few hours later, you heard Russia and Lithuania yelling at each other. You sat near the door and listened closely to the two of them.

"You nearly killed her Ivan!"

Your eyes bugged out, you had never heard Lithuania talk to him like that before!

"I-I didn't mean to Lithuania!"

"I don't care! When that incident happened so long ago, and you took _, you knew that if you went too far I would take her back home! She's under my care! She always has been!"

"N-no…No…please Lithuania, you can't take her away from me! I love her!"

"I know this Ivan, but I do too. And had you been kinder to her, and gentler I would've turned a blind eye to my own love for her, for you. I know you feel bad about giving her amnesia when you attacked," his voice dropped for a second but raised back up, "but she deserves better!"

There was silence and you were stunned, was this really Lithuania and Ivan talking? Was it really Lithy in the dominant side of the argument! Did they really do all this? What was going on?

Eventually you heard Ivan sniffling, "Da…I understand…"

Lithuania went back to his usual submissive, kind self, "Maybe after you sort things out you can come visit her, but…for now…give the girl we love a chance to remember her story, and who she is."

Ivan then said, "Can…Can I do one more thing?"

"Yes."

You heard footsteps coming so you rushed into bed, and not a moment later Russia entered and kissed your forehead, and brushed away your hair from your ace with his gentle fingers. "I-I love you." He whispered and a tear dropped onto your face and then his presence left you. You pretended to be deep in sleep when Lithy shook you awake, "Wake up _." You did so "drowsily".

"Come on, it's time to go." He said.

You grabbed your stuff and you both left. But just as you exited his house, you gave a fleeting glance back and thoughts raced through your mind. Who would protect his home from Belarus? Who would fix Russia his dinner exactly the way he liked it? Who would he replace to swiftly travel from room to another to check the screens? Who would give him his midnight vodka and warmed milk that he loved so much?

"_? You okay?"

You nodded and took his hand and let him take you away. He took you to his car and drove you away to a new home. Lithuania grabbed your luggage and your breath was caught in your throat. You were frozen to where you stood. This was too unreal. You had no idea what to expect. Lithuania grabbed your hand and pulled it along.

"I think I left something at Russia's house." You said pale white with fear.

"Hey…it's okay if you're nervous."

"But…I don't understand…What about sworn to secrecy and everything?"

"We'll tell you everything in a bit." He promised.

You nodded and were pulled up to the door. He knocked and a blonde young man opened the door, he was a year or so younger than Lithy.

"Lietu!"

"Sir Polska!" Lithuania laughed.

The blonde Pollack turned to you, and gazed over you. He bit his lip in shock, "_-_! Dude, is that like really you?"

You grinned, "Yes it is big brother."

He pulled you into a crushing hug and had Lithy make all of us something to drink. When we were all sitting in a circle, Lithuania began, "A few years ago, when Russia was battling with us, you took a major hit to your head. Feliks was half delirious, and Ivan wanted you for himself because he saw how strong and loyal you were to me and your brother. He fell instantly in love with you, because he knew if he kept you, he would never be alone. But with Feliks not being in the right state of mind, I went along to protect you and with a promise to do that for Feliks. But Ivan swore me to secrecy; he didn't want you to know how much he cared about you.

He never meant to hurt you after giving you amnesia, and he had hoped to have you fall in love with him, and you were so difficult with him that even though he fell more and more in love with you. You never returned the feelings."

"And you turned a blind eye to your own feelings about me." You said.

Lithuania and Poland both looked at me now.

"And you guilt-tripped him into a deal, if he ever went too far with his love for me, and ended up hurting me that you would take me away from him."

"You…you were listening to all that?" Lithuania asked.

You nodded, "It was a brave thing you did for me, and you knew how much I needed this...to see my brother again." Poland hugged you tightly and stroked your head.

So after a few days you tried to get into the feel of things here, since this was your new home. One night your curiosity got the best of you, and kissed Lithuania. And it drove him wild, and he kissed you back, and you fell into bed with him, "I love you _." He whispered his voice hot and heavy. He pulled his shirt over his head and you were breath taken by his body, gawd it made you shiver. For a second though you thought you saw someone else.

"I love you too Lithy." But you didn't mean it in the same way he did.

You both had hot passionate love making sex. It really was a mixture of soft love and passionate sex.

But when you were both done, and though you had never really had sex per say…and it was definitely satisfying there was something missing. Heck during your orgasm you could've sworn you were going to say someone else's name, but you couldn't think of it.

As the days passed, Lithuania and you became a little distant until one day he asked you, "_, do you love me?"

You nodded, "Yes, but not in that way…I'm sorry, there's just…I don't see you like that. You're my best friend."

He nodded and hung his head, "You love him don't you?"

You bit your lip unsure what to tell him. He was the man who had taken care of you since you were young, the man who stood boldly against Russia when you needed him most. The man who deserved your love…but the spark wasn't there.

"It's okay if you do, I understand. But…you can't go…he's…he's-,"

"The one I'm in love with." You said.

He nodded, "Just don't go, just let me invite him over."

"Fine." You said.

Lithuania called him and said, "I think it's been enough time for you to think everything over. You can come and visit later."

A few hours later, Russia knocked on the door, and you turned to him and you turned away. "Come on Feliks." Lithy said as he pulled the overprotective big brother away.

Russia sat down beside you, "Privet."

Suddenly the fire within you returned, the fire you had when you were around him had come back. You turned away with aloofness.

"Are you still upset about what I did?"

"No, what are you talking about?"

"_ I-…you're right, what I did was inexcusable. I just wanted to tell you that I loved you…I know it never seemed that way but…I did."

You're wrong…I've picked up the hints. I've heard the way you banter with me, and I've seen the way you look at me secretly when you think I'm not looking…You thought.

"I hate what you did to me." You growled.

He nodded and left and you regretted it. The spirit inside you, the pride loved you for what you said just then but your heart despised you, couldn't you just be meek for once?

That night when everyone was asleep you took Lithuania's car and drove off. You had left a note for them saying that this lifestyle you had with them was not enough for you. You parked outside the house. It was midnight and you kissed his cheek and slept in your room. You got up early though and made breakfast.

The aroma must've caught up with the boys because they clambered downstairs in shock and then they hugged me, and I told them not to give away the surprise.

Russia trudged downstairs, and then stopped as you did the dishes. "Your food is on the table." You said with a secret smile. Russia walked up behind you slapped your ass lightly; "You came back…I'm happy, but I don't understand."

You turned around gazing at him and flicked some water at him playfully, and then leaned up and kissed him passionately, "Does that answer your questions."

"You're a bad girl for running away on me."

"Well if you're gentle, maybe you can punish me."

He smiled and kissed you softly, "Maybe next time. But right now, I just want to make love to you." Then returned his lips to yours.