Author's Note: Here, just a quick note before we begin; you don't have to have watched My Name is Earl to read this and you don't have to have read Rob Kidd's Jack Sparrow series, either! I'll explain everything!

Disclaimer: I own the plot only! POTC belongs to Disney and Arabella, Fitz and co. belong to Rob Kidd. If I own anyone, it'll be someone on Jack's list I made up!

Chapter 1
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Calypso's Karmic Beliefs

"Bugger, bugger, bugger, bugger, bugger!"

These are the only words you would have heard the infamous Captain Jack Sparrow mutter in a continuous loop if you had been on that tiny little uncharted island he was about to flop helplessly onto.

Jack swam – swam here having the meaning of practically doing 'the worm' through the water like a distressed fish – to the shores and slumped down onto the ground, a cloud of sand swirling around him as he did so.

As you may have already realized, Jack was now out of a boat. Why? Karma. Simple as that.

You see, witty Jack had recently lost his beloved Black Pearl to his mutinous ex-first mate, Barbossa, leaving him with a small dinghy barely strong enough to hold his weight. But, as long as Jack had the charts to the fabled Fountain of Youth, he didn't seem to mind what he sailed on.

He continued to cheat, lie and steal his way forwards, but it was about time karma had enough of Jack's pirate ways, and sunk his little boat, loosing him all the supplies he had 'borrowed' and ensured he got a future slap from a prostitute he had… met while he was there!

And karma wasn't the only one who'd had enough of Jack…

As the huge sun began to set on the horizon, Jack fell onto his back, examining the dirt covering his chipped nails, thinking of the least important thing for his situation; what would be the first thing he touched when he drank from the Fountain of Youth and became immortal.

He wondered if his senses would change and if he would gain super-human powers in the process. I think it was quite fair to say Jack was excited about gaining his never-ending life.

But little did he know, karma wouldn't let him get to the Fountain any time soon… unless of course he changed his ways and… well, you know all the rest.

Suddenly, a humongous crash erupted through the gentle waves of the sea and gathered into a large shape, rising above the rest of the ocean, a sharp breeze biting at Jack's skin as he rose into a sitting position and watched a rather large and watery Tia Dalma shape smirking above him.

"That's interesting…"

"Ah, but not as interesting as t'e mess ya've found yaself in, witty Jack…" grinned the wave-Calypso, water dropping from her arms as she indicated to Jack's small island.

The captain looked around himself and smiled, shyly. "It's not all that bad, luv," he grinned, nervously, although he hadn't convinced himself – and quite frankly, Calypso wasn't falling for it either.

"Ya don't fool me, Jack Sparra. T'is an act of bad karma you 'ave committed to be 'ere, and t'is an act of good karma ya must commit to get away…" said she, widely grinning at an uncomfortable-looking Jack.

He raised an eyebrow, twitching as he tried to make sense of everything. Eventually, he responded with;

"Come again?"

Calypso's watery lips turned upwards into a mischievous smile as Jack rose to his feet below her.

He watched, his mouth hung wide open as she seemed to jump forwards, her arms outstretched as if she was about to grab Jack and lift him from the beach he stood on, but her body simply merged in with the now-fierce waves and washed high over Jack's waist, almost knocking the captain from his feet.

Jack hardly had time to work out would had just happened before the sea rushed backwards into its original position, leaving Calypso in her human form standing before him, and a shape scratched into the wet sand.

The captain flinched before eying the sea goddess up and down, raising a singular eyebrow when his gaze came across the karmic sign carved into the sand.

"That's… very interesting!"

To Jack, it seemed like two tadpoles in a… rather rude position, which explains why he turned his head to the side, trying to view the symbol in all possible ways, smirking to himself as Calypso rolled her deep brown eyes .

"Ya see, Jack, if ya continue doing bad things, then bad things will happen to ya in return," she began, pulling Jack's attention from the sign beneath their feet. "And if ya do good things--"

She paused, bending down to pick up Jack's famous tricorn hat from its floating position on the small waves, gently handing it back to the confused looking pirate with a straight expression washed across her face.

"-- then good t'ings will happen," she finished.

Jack took his hat as he glanced at the goddess with a mystified look swept across his face.

Sensing his expression, Calypso smiled, every single one of her black teeth showing whilst Jack crammed the hat against his skull.

"And if ya do good things, witty Jack…" she started up again, turning away to face the rippling ocean, "ya never know what good t'ings karma will offer in return…"

Jack's eyes suddenly began to sparkle. "The Fountain!" he realized, pointing at Calypso as he yelled out those very two words.

The goddess merely smiled; "Karma works in mysterious ways, Jack Sparra… ya never know what ya may be rewarded wit'."

She winked at the captain, who was now bubbling up, with excitement rushing through his every vein and contaminating his blood.

Grinning, Jack looked Calypso in the eye and spoke; "So, prey tell, 'ow do I summon this darma thing then, luv?"

"Karma, Jack Sparra, and karma ya cannot summon like da kraken. T'is simply a rule, witty Jack, and follow dis rule and ya never know what could 'appen…"

Unfortunately for Calypso, Jack was now raising his eyebrow in confusion, again.

"So, if I follow your bloody rule, then I can find the Fountain of You--"

Jack was cut off by the goddess, who had now lost her patience with him; "Jack Sparra, if ya still don' understand, I can't 'elp ya! Right all of ya wrongs and ya luck may change! A woman is on dis island, an' she can get off it, an' will be more dan happy to take ya wit' her!"

The pirate simply raised an eyebrow, a grin spreading across his face.

"Do not take advantage of 'er, witty Jack!" Calypso ordered him, beginning to calm down as she did so. "She won' fall fer it! Ya will understand when she crosses ya path!"

"And, how will said bonny lass get us away from this godforsaken place?" questioned Jack as Calypso began to walk into the waves.

The goddess turned to face him, another mysterious grin creeping over her black lips. "Ya will soon understand, Jack Sparra…"

Nothing more happened.

It all went silent and before Jack could even produce a blink, Calypso was gone, the waves were gently rippling again and he was alone.

Well, not quite alone…

Little did Jack know, a woman was appearing from the woods behind as he muttered to himself, cursing Calypso's riddles.

"--and it's Captain Jack Sparrow!" said he, finishing his silent rant as a grey blanket began to cover over the sky.

"Oh my stars… Jack Sparrow?!"

Jack's ears pricked up. He knew that voice… in fact, it was unmistakable. A smirk spread across his face as he merely responded with;

"Belle, me lass, it's Captain Jack Sparrow!"

Author's Note: And, we'll stop there for today! Does this count as a cliff-hanger? Well, anyway, those of you who know Arabella Smith… then YAY! And those of you who don't… meet Belle! In the next chapter, I mean!

Please review! (That is if you didn't think it sucked!)