Disclaimer: I don't own Criminal Minds, but I certainly wish I did, just like all those other fangirls out there...

Chapter 1: Loss and Birth

Kendra Sayer, now around twenty weeks pregnant with twin boys, waited nervously for Dr. Hall to come and start her ultrasound. The nurse had already prepared her for it, and she was now wearing a dull, blue hospital gown.

Pregnant. She was pregnant. But, she wasn't ready! She was only twenty-three and only married for barely a year. She was not ready for this. Kendra Sayer wanted to have a career, not stay home and take care of her…children. A sitter would be too costly, and her own mother lived much too far away…

A sharp knock at the door quickly cleared her mind.

"Come in," she hesitantly said, pushing her long, auburn hair from her face.

Dr. Hall strode in and turned on the ultrasound machine. "Hello, Mrs. Sayer. Are you feeling well today?"

Kendra snorted. "If you consider morning sickness and swelling ankles a good feeling, then I'm feeling absolutely great."

Dr. Hall laughed good-naturedly. "It's all part of the pregnancy, I'm afraid. Now, if I remember correctly, three weeks ago, we had an ultrasound, and you learned the genders of your twins, correct?"

"Yes. Both male." Kendra said. But a daughter would have been better…

"So, this is just an ultrasound to check if the fetuses are healthy." Dr. Hall said, squeezing some clear gel onto her abdomen.

Getting his little device, he probed her abdomen and peered at the screen.

He frowned, and called out, "Tracy get in here, and hold this please!"

Tracy the nurse rushed in and grabbed the device from Dr. Hall. Dr. Hall stood and examined the screen closer for a few more moments.

Saddened, he finally told Kendra the news. "Ms. Sayer, I believe that you're now expecting only one son."

Kendra let the news sink in. "What do you mean?" she said, feeling strangely devastated.

"This is a case of VTS, or Vanishing Twin Syndrome. One fetus will die and will get consumed by either the other fetus or the m—" he was cut off by Kendra, quickly growing hysterically disgusted.

"What do you mean, CONSUMED!" she shouted, "Did he EAT his own brother?"

"Mrs. Sayer, please let me explain." Dr. Hall said, rubbing his forehead. "This is more common than you realize, as it often goes unnoticed because of its occurrence in the early stages of pregnancy. But, because this happened in the later stages of your pregnancy, some complications may have arisen. Though, since the dead fetus seems to be completely absorbed, you should be okay. Although quite tragic, it's completely natural. It's not your fault or your other son's fault."

Too bad Kendra Sayer heard none of that. She was too busy mulling over the fact that she was holding a cannibal in her own womb. A dirty, rotten one at that.

Previously hesitant love she started to feel for her babies were gone, replaced by a growing feeling of repulsion and hatred. She was carrying a monster inside of her. Who knows? Maybe even one day, he'll grow up and be a diseased, introverted dropout, or even worse, a serial killer.

She knew what she needed, and later that day, she discussed what she wanted with her husband during dinner.

"I want an abortion." She said fiercely, twisting her wedding ring around her finger.

Carter stopped eating and dropped his fork. "What? Why?"

She explained everything to him.

Carter scooted his chair over to her after a moment of silent contemplation and pecked her forehead. "Come on, honey. Our son didn't even know what he was doing. It wasn't his fault. He's not even born yet! Give him a chance. Please? For me?"

Kendra paused.

"Because if you don't want him, then give him to me." Carter seriously said now, determination glistening in his eyes. "I'll love him no matter what."

Kendra sighed. "Fine. Besides, my mother would probably kill me for even thinking of abortion. She's too excited about this."

Carter grinned excitedly and hugged her carefully.

And so, in the next months, Kendra went about her daily life thinking about her son. She hoped he wouldn't grow up to be rotten. She certainly wished so.

Even though she knew mothers were supposed to naturally love their children unconditionally, she still had this nagging feeling of abhorrence towards her son. She…despised him.

She was ashamed to admit it, but it was true.

And finally, on February 6, 1997, she was rushed to the Saint Jude Hospital. It took a bit of time to get there, as the city of Newton was having another case of terrible weather. Only, this time, it was hailing.

A few hours later, Kendra went into labor. Her mother had made her refuse the epidural, as she believed in natural births.

And so the labor had been excruciatingly painful. All Kendra could feel was pain, pain, and more pain. It wasn't mild pain. It was real pain. One could never, ever know true pain until they deliver a child, she thought.

This was her first time delivering a child into a world, and she was in pain, scared, and really, really, really in pain. So, naturally, she would take extra long to deliver.

Nearly fifteen agonizing hours later, Jeremy Matthew Sayer was born. He was so noisy at first, wailing at the top of his miniscule lungs. But Kendra didn't even notice. She didn't even want to hold him after she finally pushed that little monster out of her, as she lay on her hospital bed, closing her eyes exhaustedly.

Carter held his bloody body first. Not her.

So, in the next moments, her… son was taken from her, cleaned, and given back to her, tightly swaddled in a blue blanket.

Staring at little Jeremy Sayer snoozing in her arms, Kendra couldn't help but notice how cute he was. Almost…lovable.

No. She would never love him. He consumed her other son. Besides. It would hurt less when she would find out what type of a person he would become when he was older, and what people he'd hurt.

And so, on February 6, 1997 on the snowiest day of the month, Jeremy Sayer was born to a mother who hated him even before he was born. What could go wrong? Right?